


New Courage

by orayofsunshine



Series: Close to What I'm Needing [1]
Category: Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Divergent?, Eventual Smut, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gilbert chugs his "I Love Anne" juice every morning, Maybe - Freeform, Period-Typical Racism, Winnie isn't a thing, its canon compliant until I decide to change everything, still remains to be seen how spicy its going to be, teenage hijinks, the rules of propriety don't count if no one is watching, well kinda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:21:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 65,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23441608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orayofsunshine/pseuds/orayofsunshine
Summary: Something was changing. It was subtle, like the seasons or the tides, ebbing and changing so gradually that it was hard to tell that anything had changed at all until you were completely surrounded by it. There were signs though, that indicated that something was happening. Like the first warm breeze of spring after days of unending cold, there were moments that Anne could simply not deny that something was happening between her and Gilbert, that the ice was melting around their simple friendship and blossoming into something more.
Relationships: Gilbert Blythe & Anne Shirley, Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley
Series: Close to What I'm Needing [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1715890
Comments: 553
Kudos: 823





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I haven't written/posted a fic in almost a year, so I apologize if I'm rusty lol. This is also my first fic for this fandom, so I hope it lives up to everyone's expectations and I can do Shirbert justice. I apologize for any errors, this is unbeta'd. I've been wanting to start a fic for days but haven't had any inspiration, and my muse decided to strike at 11:45 pm. It's 2 am now, but the first chapter is done and I couldn't wait to post! 
> 
> Things will (sometimes loosely) follow canon for at least the first little bit starting with 3x03, but will diverge at some point when I actually decide where this fic is going. The title of the fic is taken from the song "Dancing Under Red Skies" by Dermot Kennedy, and if you haven't listened to his music he's phenomenal. 
> 
> Anyways, enough of my rambling. Enjoy the fic!

Something was changing. It was subtle, like the seasons or the tides, ebbing and changing so gradually that it was hard to tell that anything had changed at all until you were completely surrounded by it. There were signs though, that indicated that something was happening. Like the first warm breeze of spring after days of unending cold, there were moments that Anne could simply not deny that something was happening between her and Gilbert, that the ice was melting around their simple friendship and blossoming into something more. And while she couldn’t deny them, she could ignore them, justify that it was all misplaced emotions from extenuating circumstances and that there was no validity to the feelings that she was having.    


Gilbert, on the other hand, knew from the very beginning that he was in love. 

________________________________

Anne knew from the look on Gilbert’s face alone that something was wrong. Terribly, horribly wrong. Setting the bread down onto the counter and wiping her hands on her apron, she quickly moved to the door to let him in, stepping aside so he could enter the house. 

“Gilbert-” She started, voice laced with concern. 

“Mary is dying.” He said bluntly, his voice low so Matthew and Marilla would not hear him. “There’s nothing we can do. I’ve come to bring Delphine home.” 

Anne felt like she had been punched in the stomach as she heard the words, as the heavy weight of despair settled deep in her chest. She opened her mouth to say something, anything, but she was cut off before she could begin. 

“There’s no time to talk now.” Gilbert said with a sigh, giving her one last sorrowful look before turning the corner to speak to Matthew and Marilla. 

Gilbert hardly said a word as they set off walking towards his house, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jacket as he walked several strides ahead of her. Anne was filled with dread at the thought of what her friends were going through, and couldn’t begin to imagine the emotions that were swirling around in Gilbert’s head. 

“I can’t fathom it.” She said softly, breaking the thick silence that had settled around them. 

“I don’t think I can be a doctor.” Gilbert said suddenly, keeping his eyes straight ahead as they walked through the barren field. “Doctors are supposed to… and I was… I had to tell her, but I-” 

“Gilbert-” She interrupted, trying to stop him from placing all of the blame on himself as she walked faster to keep up with his longer strides. He chuckled mirthlessly as he threw up a hand to stop her. She stopped walking, leaving him to get ahead of her. 

“No, Anne, don’t. I’m not the one dying. I’m not the one who’s losing everything. I’m just-” 

“A friend!” Anne exclaimed, coming to her senses and marching to catch up to Gilbert. “A friend who just delivered the most terrible news to someone they love.”

“Mary needed me to be strong! And I just made it worse. I couldn’t look her in the eyes and tell my best friend’s wife that she was dying, that she wouldn’t see her daughter grow up or her husband turn gray. I couldn’t find the words and I made everything worse.” Gilbert ranted, voice wavering as he finished with a huff. Anne bit her lip, rushing forward to grab his arm and turn him around to face her. 

“Do you think it would have made things better if you had told her such with some dispassionate delivery? Do you really think there is any way you could have given this news without it being life altering? This is a terrible situation, and I hope you never have to do something like this again, but I don’t think you’ll be able to avoid it. People will come to you, Gilbert, and they will bring their children and everyone they hold dear to see a doctor who cares just as much as they do. And that is what is so fantastic about you, is that you care for people genuinely. You hurt when they hurt, and you celebrate when they get better. You will be a wonderful doctor. Caring deeply will always be the right thing to do, and it is your most important skill, Gilbert Blythe.” 

Her chest was practically heaving by the end of her rant, her breath coming out in little white puffs as she stared into Gilbert’s eyes. His eyebrows were furrowed together, his dark eyes baring down at her with an intensity that she had not seen before. She took a deep breath, holding his gaze for a moment longer before walking past him. She didn’t look over her shoulder to see if he was following her, willing her heart to stop thundering in her chest. 

They didn’t speak again until they arrived at Gilbert’s house and stopped in his yard, staring at the building that held so much sorrow within its walls. Anne heard Gilbert’s breath shudder beside her, and she looked up to see tears brimming in his eyes as his lip quivered slightly. Anne knew that words were not even worth saying, because there was nothing that she could say that would ease the agony of the situation. Instead she wrapped her arms around Gilbert’s neck, pulling him into an embrace as the dam broke and tears started falling from both of their eyes. She heard Gilbert whimper quickly as he weeped, wrapping his arms around her waist in a bone crushing embrace. His shoulder’s shuddered underneath her arms as he sobbed, his gloved hands fisting the fabric of her jacket tightly. 

She didn’t know how long they stood like that, weeping in the yard wrapped in each other's arms. When the embrace softened and they pulled away, both of their cheeks red and streaked with tears, they didn’t have to say anything before sniffling, giving a brief nod, and walking towards the house. Come what may, they knew that their friendship was a rock they could cling to. 

Later that night as she lay in bed, Anne thought back on the day, chest still heavy with dread. She let herself cry again, her quiet sobs filling the otherwise empty room. She thought about Mary, and the letter she would write for Delphine. She cried for her friend and the necessity of the letter, that it would be a substitute for actually getting to grow up and have her daughter know her. She cried for herself, because she never got such assurance from her parents, only the hope that they loved her dearly. She cried for Bash, who’s whole life was crumbling around him as he had to sit and watch his wife succumb to the infection coursing through her veins. She cried for Gilbert, who carried the burden of guilt on his shoulders that no one was asking him to carry. The vulnerability he had shown in the field and in his yard had cut her down to her soul, leaving an odd sort of feeling that she couldn’t put a name to. She felt like her world had been tilted on its axis from the way his eyes bore into hers, filled with sorrow and hurt and a touch of something else that she was unsure of, and the way he had clutched onto her like she was the only thing tethering him to this world. 

She wiped her tears away with the sleeve of her nightgown, taking a deep breath to steady herself. She didn’t know what the coming days would bring, but she knew that she was going to do everything in her power to make sure that Mary spent the rest of her days filled with the light and love of the people around her. Mary wasn’t gone yet, but Anne knew that when she was, that she would be right by Gilbert’s side, helping her friend pick up the pieces that shattered around him. 

  
  



	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The inevitable moment of tragedy comes, and Anne helps pick up the pieces. Mrs. Lynde makes a preposterous suggestion, and Gilbert is thankful for having a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo hoo! New chapter! As usual, this chapter was finished in the middle of the night (4 am for this one, oops.) so excuse any errors that slipped through the cracks after my (very quick, very brief) read through that I did this morning. Enjoy!

It was sunny the day Mary died, only a few days after the Easter celebration they had held for her. Anne thought it needed to be different. Maybe a torrential downpour, covering all of Avonlea for days on end, could properly frame such a tragedy as the one that had come upon the Blythe-Lacriox family. But instead they got a beautifully warm day, a gentle reminder that spring was well on its way. 

Anne was sitting on the porch reading, thankful for the warmth of the afternoon sun when Gilbert walked up, wordlessly sitting beside her. She looked up from her book and knew from his bloodshot eyes, still watery with tears, that she was gone. 

“Oh no, Gilbert.” She whispered, her heart dropping in her chest. Gilbert clenched his jaw hard, and Anne winced as she heard his teeth grind together painfully as he struggled to keep himself composed. For a moment she wanted to reach out and stroke the sharp line of his jaw, willing it to relax, but the thought was gone just as soon as it had come. Instead she reached out and took his hand, squeezing it tightly. His shoulders shuddered as he hung his head as tears started to fall down his face. 

“This morning, surrounded by those she loved.” He said after a moment, voice hoarse and thick from crying. 

Anne couldn’t say anything as a wave of grief washed over her, heavy and final. She shifted her body towards Gilbert so she could wrap her arms around him, crying into his shoulder as sobs wracked her body. Like the other day, Gilbert matched her embrace, holding her tightly as he started to cry as well, burying his face into her hair. 

Marilla found them some time later in the same position, holding each other tightly even after they had cried all they could. Anne looked up at her guardian, knowing that she probably looked wretched after all of the crying, but could not find it in herself to care. 

“Oh dear,” Marilla said with a sad sigh, her shoulders sinking. “I’m so sorry Gilbert, who all have you told?” 

“You are the first to know, I came straight here. I need to be getting back soon, Bash needs me.” He replied quietly, clearing his throat as he gently pulled himself from Anne’s grasp- she hadn’t even noticed that they were still holding onto one another- and stood up. 

“Well you don’t need to worry about anything for now. We’ll fix you all some supper for tonight, and I can have Rachel start arrangements for a funeral, if you’d like.” Marilla offered. Gilbert smiled weakly, shaking his head at her offer. 

“Bash already sent word to the minister in the Bog, we’ll let you know when a date is set.” He declined. “But I’m sure neither of us would turn down a warm meal at this time.” 

Marilla smiled, giving him a small nod. “That settles it then, I’ll send Anne over with it later this evening.” 

Gilbert reached out and took her hand into both of his. “Thank you, Marilla. Truly, your kindness is invaluable to my family.” 

With that, Gilbert dropped her hands, and gave a nod to both of them before turning and making his leave. Anne watched as he left, heart aching for her friend. When he had finally disappeared from view she turned to Marilla, who was looking down at her, sadness written all over her face. 

“I’m sorry, Anne. I know how much you cared for Mary.” She said, reaching out to gently wipe a stray tear that was rolling down her cheek. Anne closed her eyes, willing the tears to stop falling as she leaned into Marilla’s touch. They stood there for a moment before Anne opened her eyes and stood up. 

“I think I’m going to lay down for a little while.” Anne whispered, grabbing her book from where she had set it aside earlier. Marilla simply nodded, in any other circumstance she would not allow Anne to laze the day away in bed, but in moments like this she knew she had to bend her own rules. 

“Alright, I’ll come get you in a little while to help with supper. I’m going to go fetch Rachel, we have plenty to do to prepare for the coming days.” She said, going inside to gather her things as Anne went up to her room. Once she was finally alone, she let herself truly cry. No matter how much they had anticipated this day, the pain hurt just as much as it would have if they had lost Mary without any warning. She wasn’t sure how she was going to be able to face Bash that evening when she brought supper over. What do you say to a man who has just lost the love of his life? How do you soothe that ache? Anne didn’t have the answer, and she supposed that no one truly did. 

Somehow, she had drifted off to sleep while she was weeping on her bed, and woke up to Marilla opening her door and poking her head in. 

“Anne,” She said softly. “Come help with supper, dear.” 

She rolled over, telling Marilla that she would be done in a minute as she wiped the sleep from her eyes and the lingering tears from her cheeks as she got out of bed and smoothed the wrinkles out of her dress. While the ache that had settled in her chest was still there, sleep had done her good and had numbed her slightly to the sorrow that the day had brought. She didn’t waste time as she descended the stairs to join Marilla and Mrs. Lynde in the kitchen. 

Marilla smiled at her as she entered, chopping carrots and onions for the stew that she was making. “Are you feeling any better?” She asked, and Anne nodded as she quickly washed her hands. 

“A little bit.” She answered, drying her hands and turning to their guest. “Good evening, Mrs. Lynde.” 

“Good evening,” the older woman replied as she kneaded away at a lump of bread dough. “I’m afraid we’re sending you over with a small feast for Bash and Gilbert.”

“I’m sure they’ll appreciate anything we have to offer.” Anne said simply as she started peeling the potatoes that Marilla had placed in front of her. Mrs. Lynde chuckled, raising her eyebrows as she began to form the dough into a loaf. 

“That’s for certain. I was just telling Marilla about how much things are going to change now that Mary is gone. Someone will need to help with Delphine, and make sure they stay fed over there.” she said with a sigh. 

“They’ll adapt, Gilbert has lived most of his life without a woman in the house, and he seems to have managed just fine. We’ll help them when we can, as will everyone else. They aren’t going to be alone through this.” Anne said. Yes, life without Mary was going to be difficult, but both of them were strong, capable men. They would not fall apart without a feminine presence in the house. Anne kept these thoughts to herself though as she focused on her work. 

“You’re right, but still I worry about how things will work out for them with only a baby, a bachelor, and a widow in the house.” Mrs. Lynde chuckled, and Anne snorted. 

“I’d hardly call Gilbert a bachelor.” She retorted. 

“He is a fine young man.” Marilla added, sending a pointed look to Rachel that suggested that she was about to overstep. The other woman either didn’t notice the look, or chose to ignore it as she continued. 

“Regardless of what you’d like to call him, he probably won’t remain that way for long. He’s nearly 18, it won’t be long before he’s ready to find a wife and settle down.” She said, choosing to send a look of her own to Anne. 

The redhead looked between the two older women quizzically, setting her peeler down. “Excuse me, I’m not sure what you’re suggesting, Mrs. Lynde.” She said politely, confused as to what conversation she had gotten trapped into. 

“Oh, I’m not suggesting anything, dear.” She chuckled, plopping the dough into the bread pan before continuing. “But, he is going to be a doctor, and he has a good portion of land, and he is quite handsome, I would say. Lots of fine qualities, wouldn’t you agree, Anne?”

The dots finally connected in Anne’s brain and she had to stop herself from staring wide eyed and slack jawed at the older woman. Was she being serious? There was no way she could really be insinuating that she and Gilbert could be a good match. He was Gilbert for goodness sake! He was her friend and academic rival, any suggestion that they could be anything other than that was simply preposterous. 

“A-are you saying I should marry Gilbert Blythe?” She said, words coming out at a pitch higher than she wished they had as she felt her face grow hot.  
Mrs. Lynde laughed, watching as Anne got more and more frazzled. Thankfully, Marilla noticed her daughter’s increasingly distressed state and cleared her throat, bringing the attention to her and away from Anne. 

“Now, Rachel, don’t you think it is a little early for talk like this? Anne’s only just turned sixteen, and she’s planning on going to college in the fall. It doesn’t make much sense to begin any sort of courtship- let alone marriage- at the moment, now does it?” She said.  
“It’s never too early to think about the future.” Mrs. Lynde retorted with a shrug, but thankfully steered the conversation away from Gilbert, to plans for a reception after Mary’s funeral. Anne heaved a sigh of relief and hardly paid any attention to the conversation as she chopped potatoes and dumped them into the stew pot, her head swimming. 

She couldn’t doubt that when she had first come to Avonlea, she had developed a tiny crush on Gilbert, but that had quickly faded away once she realized Ruby’s claim on him (and the fact that he was absolutely insufferable sometimes). She would admit that yes, objectively, he was attractive. His dark, soulful eyes, long, thick eyelashes, and strong jawline were certainly something to be admired, that was for sure. But, just because she could appreciate the aesthetically pleasing features of someone did not mean that she was also harbouring affection for him. Then there was the matter of, well, her. Even if she wanted to entertain the idea of having feelings for Gilbert (which she most certainly did not), she was entirely too homely and emotional for him, or any man. She was gangly and thin as a rail, an orphan with no standing to offer to him, and she was entirely too passionate and would all too willingly speak her mind, even if it meant opposing him. She wasn’t wife material for anyone, let alone Gilbert Blythe. So it was an entirely ridiculous notion for Mrs. Lynde to even suggest that they court. 

The time passed quickly as she was stuck in her own thoughts, and it didn’t feel like long before she was toting a heavy basket filled with stew, bread, and other goods down the path to Gilbert’s house. Her arms were aching fiercely by the time she arrived, the burning in her arms and sobering reality of what she was about to walk into distracting her from the earlier conversation with Mrs. Lynde. Gathering her resolve, she climbed the steps and knocked firmly on the door. A moment passed before the door opened, revealing Gilbert on the other side. He looked like he had aged years since just that morning, with dark circles under bloodshot eyes and unkempt hair. 

“Supper as promised.” She said softly, holding the basket up for him to see. Gilbert offered her a weak smile, taking the basket from her and inviting her in. They were alone in the kitchen, and Anne’s heart shattered when she heard the sound of Delphine crying from somewhere in the house. 

“She hasn’t stopped all day. It’s like she knows, too.” Gilbert said, voice low as he set about getting bowls and utensils ready for their dinner. Anne stepped in, noticing the way his hands were trembling slightly, taking the items from him. 

“Let me do this, you sit down.” She said, gently pushing him into a seat before ladling the thick stew into a bowl and setting it on the table in front of him. She fixed another bowl for Bash and set it on the table opposite Gilbert before pulling the loaf of bread from the basket. 

“Do you think Bash would want to see me right now, or would you like to go get him? I can hold Delphine for a little while, if he’s okay with that. Maybe walk around with her outside before the sun goes down?” She offered. 

“I’ll go ask. He hasn’t eaten all day, and I doubt he’ll start now, but it’s worth asking.” He said, leaving the room without another word. She noticed while he was gone that he had not touched his meal, and wondered if he had eaten that day either. She didn’t have long to ponder the thought as Delphine’s cries grew louder, and Gilbert reentered the kitchen with the screaming baby in his arms. “He’ll be down in a minute, you can go ahead and take her outside. I’ll come get you in a little while.” 

Anne nodded, taking the baby from his arms and going outside. The sun was low in the sky, and a chill had already begun to fill the air as Anne bounced Delphine in her arms. She knew that it was unlikely that she would get her to stop crying. Still, she did everything she could think to do, but at the end of it her nappy was dry, she wasn’t cutting any teeth, and she didn’t want to go inside and get a bottle to feed her, so she was at a loss. All she could do was coo and stroke the little girl’s soft cheek, wiping away the tears as they fell.

The sun had set and Anne was close to shivering when Delphine’s screams quieted to whimpers as the little girl cried herself to exhaustion and fell asleep in her arms. Anne slumped against the steps when she finally did, holding her close to her body to keep her warm. The door creaked open behind her and she glanced over her shoulder as Bash and Gilbert came out. Bash gently squeezed her shoulder, his eyes blank and looking right through her, before gently pulling Delphine from her arms and retreating back into the house without a word. 

“Let me walk you home.” Gilbert said, his hands in his pockets. Anne wanted to decline his offer, but the sun had set and darkness was quickly descending around them, so she didn’t put up a fight as Gilbert lit a lantern and led her home. They didn’t speak at all, instead listening to the sounds of the world around them going to bed as they walked in companionable silence. When they reached the edge of Green Gables, she stopped and turned to face Gilbert. 

“I can make it from here.” She said, looking over her shoulder to see the warm glow from the fireplace inside the house. 

“Anne,” Gilbert said, shoulders sagging under the weight of the day. “Thank you, I needed a friend today, and you’ve been incredible.” 

The sincerity of his words filled her chest with warmth and she smiled, reaching out to squeeze Gilbert’s arm gently. “Of course, that’s what friends are for. Let us know if there’s anything at all we can do to help you and Bash.” 

“Of course. Goodnight, Anne.” Gilbert said simply, giving her a small smile and a tip of his hat before turning and starting off towards home. 

“Goodnight, Gilbert.” She whispered, her words getting lost in the cold breeze that swept through. 

Despite the cool night air, the warm feeling that had settled in her chest from Gilbert’s kind words was enough to carry her through the fields to her house without even noticing the cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Stay healthy, stay safe, and see you next time!


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The temperature isn't the only thing getting hot in Avonlea. 
> 
> (Or, Anne and Gilbert pretend that they aren't thirsty for one another pt. 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: Oh man, I think I'll actually get this chapter done before midnight! 
> 
> Also me: *posts the chapter at 3:10 am* 
> 
> Oh, well. In my defense, I probably would have finished around midnight, but I kept going and the chapter ended up being a monster, so I decided to split it in two. The next chapter is almost finished, so it'll probably be up this afternoon.
> 
> As always, it's unbeta'd, feel free to let me know if there's any glaring errors.

Spring faded into summer, bringing with it the sweltering heat that Anne hated. She enjoyed most things about summer, the beautiful radiant sunsets, the long days filled with more hours of enjoyment, the garden parties that she went to with her friends. But despite all of those wonderful characteristics, she absolutely hated the heat. It wasn’t that she necessarily preferred the cold of winter, but the heat caused the most wretched side effect of her red hair and fair skin. 

“I didn’t know that you were growing tomatoes on your farm this year, Shirley.” Billy remarked as she walked into the school house on one of the last days of school, turning to one of the Pauls as the pair laughed at her expense. Anne didn’t even bother looking in his direction as she took off her hat and hung it on its hook. She clenched her jaw, resolving herself to not engage with the moron. She knew exactly what he was referring too, and was not going to dignify his taunts with a response.   
The heat had been suffocating from the moment she woke up that morning, leaving her hair limp and greasy against her scalp as she tugged a brush through it and braided her hair, wishing she could wear her hat all day to hide her scalp. When she had gone down for breakfast, Marilla was standing in front of the stove, hair frizzing slightly from the hot oven. 

“Marilla, must the house be filled with such infernal heat so early in the morning?” She sighed, wiping up the bead of sweat that had begun to drip down her forehead. 

“I’m sorry, Anne, but I have to get this baking done before going to take care of Delphine. I can’t control the weather, I assure you that I don’t enjoy this heat wave either.” Marilla said, shaking her head as she opened the oven, sending another blistering wave of heat through the house. 

The temperature didn’t fare much better outside, which made the trek to school miserable. She was thankful for the light green dress she had chosen to wear that day, and that it would not show the sweat she knew was accumulating on her body as badly as it would have if she had worn a darker color. Unfortunately, that was where her luck ended, and nothing could be done about the other afflictions the heat had left her with. 

Brushing past Billy, she marched through the school to her desk, where Diana was already sitting and talking with Ruby and Tilly. 

“Good morning, ladies.” Anne greeted, setting her books down as the trio looked up at her. Ruby gasped, hand going to her mouth. 

“Anne, your face-” 

“I know the unfortunate state of my complexion at the moment, please do try and ignore it.” She sighed, wiping the sweat away from her forehead, hoping that she could begin to cool down and return to her normal color. 

“I’m sorry,” Ruby squeaked. “It’s just that you’re as red as a cherry!” 

Anne groaned, setting her head down on her desk with a loud  _ thud.  _ Curse her pasty skin and traitorous red hair, it was as if the universe bestowed both upon her to bring never ending torment to her life. She had tried everything over the years to keep herself from turning a unholy shade of red whenever she got too hot (a red that somehow clashed with her hair, making her look utterly disastrous), but nothing besides time and shade seemed to do anything of worth. 

“My dear Diana, I do believe that the fires of hell would be more pleasant than this.” She groaned, turning her head to face her friend. Diana gently patted her shoulder, giving her a sympathetic smile as Miss Stacy called the class to attention. 

The heat only seemed to intensify as the morning dragged on, and Anne lamented over the fact that her seat was at the perfect spot for the sun to beat down on her through the open window. Not even the faint breeze that blew in occasionally could do anything to stop the warmth that threatened to suffocate her, and to make matters worse, she was also certain that she was getting a sunburn. 

Anne tried to keep her head down and facing forward, hoping that she could hide her face from her classmates. On some level, she knew that everyone was warm and sweating from the summer heat, but also she was certain that she was the only one in the room whose face had surpassed simple rosy cheeks. Fate betrayed her though when she dropped her chalk and was forced to bend down to pick it up, only for the offending object to be intercepted by another hand. She glanced up to where Gilbert had bent over to grab the chalk, and watched as his eyes grew wide, obviously at the monstrosity that her face was at the moment. She swallowed thickly, despite the fact that her throat was suddenly very dry, and snatched the chalk from his hand before quickly righting herself. 

She was thankful when Miss Stacy announced that it was lunch time, and she quickly got up and walked out, not stopping at the take notice board with the rest of her friends as she continued to the creek to pull out her milk. She sighed in sweet relief as she pressed the cool jar to her neck, relishing the beads of water that dripped down into the collar of her dress. 

“Anne!” A voice called, ruining her moment of bliss as she turned quickly to see Gilbert rushing over to her, eyebrows knitted together in concern. “Are you alright, your face is so-” 

“Red!” She snapped, “My face is red, I know my face is red! My entire body is probably red at this point, because that is what happens when someone of my unfortunately pale complexion gets hot. I assure you, I am fine, if not a little uglier than usual.” She ranted, crossing her arms over her chest as she finished, chest heaving with simmering anger from the entire morning. 

Gilbert’s eyebrows shot up in surprise at her outburst, holding his hands up defensively. “I meant no offense, I assure you. I just wanted to make sure you’re alright. How long has it been this way?” 

“Sixteen years.” She responded dryly, only for Gilbert to roll his eyes at her. She huffed, shrugging her shoulders. “I don’t know, since I woke up. It feels like it’s the hottest day of the year, and Marilla had the oven going full force this morning, and I’ve been sitting in the sun since school started. I assure you I’ll be alright.” 

With that, she sat down and began to eat her lunch, only to have Gilbert sit down next to her in the grass, still studying her face carefully. 

“Are you feeling lightheaded at all? Any nausea?” He asked, reaching out to feel her forehead with the back of his hand. Anne jerked away from his grasp, batting his hand away. 

“Will you stop that! I’m fine, Doctor Blythe, if anything a little sunburned from the sun coming through the window. Now let me enjoy my lunch in peace.” She huffed as Gilbert laughed, shaking his head as he pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and dipped it into the creek.

  
“Will you at least put this on the back of your neck? It’ll help keep you cool, and maybe help with the flush you have.” He said, folding the fabric into a strip and wringing it out so it wouldn’t drip too much. Anne sighed, but relented, ignoring the way her stomach turned when he said that she was flushed. She took the handkerchief from him and settled it over her neck, and couldn’t contain the small sigh of pleasure that escaped her lips. She had to admit, it was nice and she immediately felt a little cooler. 

She looked over at Gilbert, whose own cheeks were a little red. Anne chuckled, dipping her hand in the water and flicking a few droplets towards him.

“You’re looking a little rosy yourself, doctor, maybe it’s you that needs to cool down.” She teased. She expected for him to laugh or send some sort of teasing remark back, but he did neither and simply stared at her with an intense expression, his eyes holding some sort of emotion that Anne didn’t have the words to name. 

The moment ended just as soon as it had begun when one of her friends called her name, and Gilbert quickly stood up, shoving his hands in his pockets. 

“Let me know if you start feeling strange. Nausea, lightheadedness, dry-mouth, anything at all. Alright?” He said with a small cough, not waiting for a response before he turned and quickly disappeared into the school house. Anne wanted to ponder his strange behavior, but the girls running up chattering on about the take notice board was enough to distract her from it entirely. 

____________________

Gilbert was losing his mind. 

He paced back in forth through the blessedly empty room, trying to rationalize whatever the hell was happening to him. 

“I’m a healthy, post-pubescent male.” He muttered to himself, running a hand through his hair. “It is perfectly normal to have a physical response to… desirable stimuli.” 

It had all been too much. At first, he had sought out Anne to make sure she wasn’t falling ill because of how red her face had been during class. But finding her by the stream, head tilted back and exposing the porcelain skin of her neck as she pressed her jar of milk to it, the water on the outside rolling off and sliding down into the collar of her dress, that had made him feel warm in a way that had absolutely nothing to do with the weather. He managed to pull himself together as he called out her name to check on her, only to have her lash out before he could ever finish his sentence. 

“Red!” She had yelled, “My face is red, I know my face is red! My entire body is probably red at this point, because that is what happens when someone of my unfortunately pale complexion gets hot. I assure you, I am fine, if not a little uglier than usual.”

His mind went a little fuzzy at the comment on her whole body being red, which in turn projected an image of Anne laid bare before him, with every inch of her skin the same beautiful pink that her face currently was. He was almost too preoccupied with the tantalizing thought to realize that Anne was angry, and again, pushed the thought out his mind (and if he decided to save it for later, then no one was any the wiser). 

_ Lord, help me.  _ He thought as he held his hands up defensively, stating his intention of checking on her. She had huffed and insisted she was fine, but he insisted that she at least try to cool down with the wet cloth. Up to that point, his mind had wandered a little more than he was comfortable with but nothing could have prepared him for the sound that left her lips when his handkerchief touched her skin. Forget her whole body flushed before him, that was only his imagination. Her rosy face, framed by stray baby hairs that had escaped the usually impeccable braids she wore, practically moaning as she pressed the cloth to her neck was something very real, and set his blood on fire. 

She had tried joking with him after that, her smile radiant as she flicked water at his face, but he could do nothing but stare at her in awe of how much he wanted her in that moment. And while he did want her in a very… ehem,  _ intimate _ , way he also just desired to have her as a partner, an equal. She had always been a good friend to him (the slate incident notwithstanding, that was his fault) and was the only one to write to him while he was away on the  _ Primrose,  _ and when he returned she had welcomed him and Bash back to Avonlea without a single pause or hesitation. She fought for justice for those that could not speak for themselves, and was determined to find kindred spirits in the world, no matter what they looked like or did. She was the most vivacious, passionate woman he had ever met, and he adored just about everything about her. 

And that was how he found himself in the situation he was in, pacing the length of the coat room, erection tucked into his waistband to avoid embarrassing himself. He leaned against the wall, taking a deep breath. He didn’t have much time before everyone else came back in from lunch, and so squeezed his eyes shut and began reciting every bone in the skeletal system in a desperate attempt to get his mind off of the indecent thoughts he was having. 

“Gilbert, you alright?” Moody asked a few minutes later as he came inside from lunch, a look of concern on his friend’s face. Gilbert opened his eyes and cleared his throat, giving Moody a nod. 

“Just a little dizzy from the heat, is all.” He said. 

“Oh, I know what you mean. It’s criminal how hot it’s been. Say, what are you doing tomorrow? Miss Stacy is letting us go after lunch since it's the last day of school. I was thinking about going to this lake I found for the afternoon, it’s hidden away in the woods so we could all cool down and relax a little before we have to start studying for the entrance exams. We could invite the girls and have a picnic, maybe swim a little. What do you think?” He asked as the door of the school opened and the girls began to filter in. He watched as Anne breezed past him, her face slightly less flushed, and he could barely see the white fabric of his handkerchief peeking from the back of her dress.  _ So much for the bone recitation.  _

“Sounds like a great idea.” He said distractedly, tearing his eyes away from Anne as Moody smiled brightly, unaware of Gilbert’s divided attention. 

“I’ll talk to the girls, come ready to leave right after school ends.” 

With that, Moody bounded off to rope the girls into his scheme, and Gilbert took a deep breath, casting one last look at Anne as he wondered just what he was getting himself into. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Gilbert lol. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I live in south Georgia and know that it's unbearably hot by early April, and I have absolutely no concept of what the temperatures are in Canada in late May/early June when this chapter takes place. Please suspend your belief for a second if it's wildly inaccurate and just go along with it lol. 
> 
> Anyways, thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you think, and I'll see you next time!


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> School is out for the summer, which calls for a slightly improper lake day for the youth of Avonlea. 
> 
> (or Anne and Gilbert pretend they aren't thirsty for one another, pt. 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is this? An update? While the sun is still up? Incredible. 
> 
> Here's chapter four, as promised! This was really fun to write, and I hope you enjoy it!

“Last one in is a rotten egg!” Charlie shouted as soon as they got to the lake that afternoon after they had finished school for the day. It had been a long trek out, and they had grouched at Moody more than once, convinced that he was leading all of them in circles. He had insisted that he knew where he was going, and to just hold on a little longer. He had delivered on his promise, and Anne was amazed at the beauty of the little swimming hole when they finally arrived. It was nestled in a tiny clearing, surrounded by towering trees and shining in the afternoon sun. It was not as beautiful as the Lake of Shining Waters, but it was a close second.  _ And,  _ they could swim in this one without the prying eyes of adults who would scream about propriety. 

Anne dropped her books and bag on the ground, smiling at Diana as she pulled off her hat and pulled out the ties on her braids, fearful she would lose them in the lake and have to explain to Marilla what had happened to them. Next went her shoes, stockings, and pinafore as the rest of her friends did the same, stripping down to their underwear and running into the deep blue water.  The water was cold, but was a very welcome respite from the heat as she dunked her head, running her fingers through her hair to undo her braids before resurfacing with a loud gasp for air. She paddled over to where Ruby and Tilly were wading in the water, giggling as the boys started splashing each other wildly.   
“Isn’t it such a wonderful sight?” Ruby sighed dreamily. 

“I know, this is truly the most picturesque swimming hole I have ever had the pleasure of seeing.” Anne agreed with a smile, only to have Ruby roll her eyes. 

“Don’t be silly, Anne. I meant seeing the boys without their shirts on.” She scoffed as Tilly laughed, batting water towards Ruby. 

“So improper, Miss Gillis!” She said, only to have Ruby huff. 

“Enjoying God’s creation is not improper. Anne admires the mystery of the natural world, and I admire the mystery of men. They’re one in the same if you think of it.” She said, sticking her nose up in the air. 

“I agree with her.” Diana chimed in with a giggle. 

“And they say men are the ones to look out for! We’re the ones being peeping Toms over here while they could care less about the young women over here in their bloomers. They’re too busy being boneheaded boys.” Anne laughed, looking over to where the boys had stopped splashing and had moved on to some sort of game. The girls watched as Moody clamored on top of Charlie’s shoulders and Gilbert on one of the Paul’s. The two men shook hands, trading a few taunting words before nodding to the rest of the group. 

“Three, two, one, go!” The boys chanted, and at the word go, Moody and Gilbert began wrestling, trying to knock the other into the water. 

“Oh my,” Ruby whispered. 

_ Oh my _ was right, Anne thought as she watched the two wrestle, the other boys yelling and cheering loudly around them. She knew she should have looked away, that she was a target for teasing from her friends if she continued to stare open mouthed, but she just couldn’t look away. 

Time on the steamship had done Gilbert good. All of the boys had some muscle on them from the laborious work that comes with living on a farm, but Gilbert being older and having done even more manual labor put them all to shame. His arms were flexing with every move he made, displaying each curve and dip of his muscles, and when the fight turned, putting his back to the group of girls, his shoulders proved just as defined as his arms. A year of shoveling coal certainly did good for the body, that was for sure. 

“Anne, you’re going to catch flies.” Diana whispered with a giggle, pushing Anne’s jaw up gently. She shot her best friend a dirty look, and was interrupted by a splash and raucous cheering. Anne looked over to see Gilbert still sitting victoriously on Paul’s shoulder’s, flexing his arms as he showed off to the other boys. Without the wrestling to obstruct their view, the girls got a good look at him, and Ruby nearly fainted as she leaned backwards into Anne. 

_ “He has chest hair!”  _ The blonde squealed, looking as if she might faint. 

Anne raised her eyebrows, not understanding her friend’s hysteria as she looked up to see that, yes he did have a fine dusting of hair across his chest, dark like the hair on his head. There was another smattering of hair too, Anne saw, starting at his belly button and trailing down, down,  _ down…  _

“Hey, you’re next, Carrots!” Gilbert shouted, meeting her eyes and pointing at her before tipping himself backwards off of Paul’s shoulders and into the water. Anne didn’t even have time to process the nickname before he was swimming over to her. 

“Excuse me?” She asked, raising an eyebrow at him as the rest of the boys made their way over to him. He patted his shoulder, a lopsided grin on his face. 

“Hop on, why should we be having all the fun while you girls sit over here?” He said, a playful look in his eye. She looked over at Diana, who was watching her with a cautious look. 

“Princess Wisteria!” She cried, shoving a finger in her friend’s chest. “I challenge you to a battle to the death! May only the best knight live to see the morning, while the other is plunged into the depths of cold and despair!” 

Diana giggled, moving to where Charlie was standing. “I accept your challenge, Princess Cordelia! May the best woman win!” She declared loudly, pushing the boy down so she could climb onto his shoulders. Anne laughed as she turned around, only to be nearly chest to chest with Gilbert. He was standing at full height and towering over her, the water reaching his abdomen, leaving the broad expanse of his chest open to her gaze. She quickly diverted her eyes up to his face, where he was smirking down at her. 

“Allow me.” He said simply before turning around and disappearing under the water, only to gently grab her legs and pull them over his shoulders, situating her to sit on them before standing up, lifting her completely out of the water. Gilbert’s hands moved to rest on her thighs, just above her knees as he glanced up at her through the dark hair that had fallen into his eyes. “Is it alright if I hold you like this?” He asked. 

She nodded simply as the touch sent electricity running through every cell in her body. It was a strange feeling, one she was not used to, but seemed to be having more and more, especially when it came to Gilbert. She liked the way his strong, warm hands felt on her, anchoring her to his body as the group counted down for the fight to begin. 

Anne looked up as everyone yelled go, cursing herself for getting distracted as Diana shoved her, causing both her and Gilbert to tip back dangerously. 

“Lean forward and push!” He instructed from beneath her as he righted them, surging forward as Anne followed his instructions, knocking Diana back. She couldn’t help but laugh as she locked arms with Diana, each of them struggling to throw the other off of their partner’s shoulders. 

Anne nearly stopped her efforts when she felt Gilbert’s hand move, sliding down over her knee. She faltered for a moment, only to have him shout for him to trust her and kick when he told her too. His hand continued its descent down over her shin, until it wrapped around her ankle. She kept pushing against Diana all the while, not making much progress. Anne spared a glance down to what Gilbert was doing, and almost laughed at how brilliant he was. Charlie had been looking up, making sure Diana was still upright, and wasn’t focused on what Gilbert was doing. That gave them the perfect opportunity to topple the tower starting from the bottom. 

Anne kept up her efforts with Diana, and waited until Gilbert had her foot hovering over the middle of Charlie’s chest. It was like she had read Gilbert’s mind, because right as he shouted, “Now Anne!” she was already letting go of Diana and pushing against him with all the force she could muster, knocking the man off balance and sending both him and Diana into the water. 

Her friends whooped around her and Gilbert jumped up and down in victory, and she held onto his head to keep her steady, laughing all the while. His hands shifted higher on her thighs as he jumped to keep her steady, and she could feel his fingertips brushing against her hip bones as they celebrated, setting her on fire once again. 

“Hang on tight!” He shouted, breaking her from her thoughts as he leaned backwards, sending both of them into the water. With both of them under the water, she stayed on his shoulders for just a moment longer than she probably needed to, relishing the last few moments of his touch. He also made no move to go, but just as her lungs started to ache from holding her breath, Gilbert gave her thighs a gentle squeeze and pushed them off of his shoulders. Anne waited to resurface, noticing how the water felt cooler on the underside of her thighs where she had been sitting on Gilbert. 

She resurfaced when she couldn’t wait another moment for air, and Gilbert had already swam off with the boys as another round of wrestling started, leaving the girls to wade again, their faces flushed with excitement. 

“Oh Anne, you’re so lucky.” Ruby said, sighing wistfully. “I just know that Gilbert was too shy to ask me to fight with him, but I can’t wait for the day he holds me like he held you.” 

While she knew her friend meant well, Anne felt like she had been punched in the gut by the blonde’s words. Why did she let herself forget that Gilbert was spoken for? She was letting fantasy get in the way of her friendship, and she couldn’t bear to hurt sweet Ruby by continuing with whatever silly game she had entered with Gilbert. Part of her knew that Gilbert was not at all interested in Ruby in any romantic sense, only that he was kind to her so as to not hurt her feelings. Still, it was Gilbert’s business, and Anne knew she was not going to be the one to break the news that the boy she had been carrying a torch for since she was a child was not interested in her. 

The conversation moved on to the Queen’s entrance exams, and Anne was thankful for the opportunity to break away from the group, getting out of the water to lay on one of the blankets they had brought. She closed her eyes, letting the sun warm her skin and dry her clothes out as she listened to the sounds of her friends laughing and playing in the water. 

“You sure seemed to be in a hurry to get out of the water.” Diana said as she settled down on the blanket beside her. Anne kept her eyes closed, but felt the blanket shift as Diana laid down beside her. She reached out blindly, searching for her friend’s hand and feeling a little bit lighter when their hands intertwined. 

“I can only stand so much of Ruby’s fawning.” She said sourly. Diana chuckled beside her, squeezing her hand gently. Thankfully, her friend didn’t press her for more information and they lapsed into a comfortable silence, letting the sun heat their skin. Anne flipped over at some point to let the back of her clothes dry, folding her arms to make a cradle for her head. The warmth from the sun and the indistinct sounds coming from her friends lulled her to sleep without her realizing it, and she was jerked awake some time later to someone pressing down harshly on her back. She hissed in pain as she sat up quickly, eyes darting around for the nuisance that had woken her up. 

“So you really are a tomato, eh, Shirley?” Billy sneered down at her. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, and why are you here? To my knowledge you weren’t invited.” Anne spat back, standing up and crossing her arms. Billy laughed condescendingly, looking down on her with malice in his eyes. 

“This is public land, I’m allowed to be here. And just take a look at yourself, you’re red all over, like the ugly little carrot you are.” He said, his eyes tracing her body up and down in a way that made her skin crawl. Anne furrowed her eyebrows and looked at her shoulder, which was a shocking shade of red. 

“Go away, Billy.” Diana said, waking up from her own nap and standing up to defend her. Billy held his hands up as if he was innocent, and Diana simply rolled her eyes before turning to her. “Anne, you need to get your dress back on or else you’ll burn even worse.” 

Anne nodded in agreement, beginning her search for her clothes. No one had bothered to organize their things when they had arrived at the swimming hole, leaving clothes tossed haphazardly around the meadow leading up to the edge of the water. Anne searched through all of the dresses, stockings, and pinafores on the ground, but came up empty when it came to her own things. 

“Looking for these?” Billy called from behind her, and Anne felt a surge of rage as she turned around to find her clothes bunched up in his hands. 

“Give them back, you jerk!” She shouted, marching over to where he was standing. He turned away as she reached for the clothing, holding them above her head. 

“Uh uh, I don’t think so,” He taunted. “You’re going to have to ask nicely.” 

Anne clenched her fists tightly, drawing up her resolve. “I do not have to ask for someone to give me my own possessions.” She said, refusing to back down. 

“Then it looks like you’ll be walking home in your bloomers.” Billy retorted with a simple shrug. “What a scene that would cause. No one would be surprised though, the ugly orphan parading around town in her underwear, showing everyone just the kind of girl she is.” 

“Stop it Billy!” Diana shouted, but her words barely registered in Anne’s mind. It was like she was underwater again, with every sound distorted and muted to her. 

His words cut deep, hitting one of her deepest insecurities and shaking her confidence. Tears pricked at her eyes and she blinked quickly, willing them to go away. 

“Aw, are you going to cry?” Billy said. “If you want your clothes back, you’re going to have to beg like the dog you are.” 

Anne took a deep breath, wanting to scream as a traitorous tear rolled down her face, and she hastily wiped it away. Billy laughed, obviously pleased with the reaction he was getting out of her, only to stop short as a shadow fell over her shoulder. 

“Do we have a problem here?” Gilbert said from behind Anne. She sniffled, shaking her head and refusing to turn around and look at him. 

“Nah, Gilbert. Just playing around.” Billy said. 

“Doesn’t look playing around to me.” Gilbert said, his voice low and threatening. “Give Anne her things back, now.” 

Anne had never heard Gilbert sound as foreboding as he did in that moment, and she cautiously looked over her shoulder to glance at him. His face was all hard lines, his jaw clenched as his dark eyes were a swirling storm of emotion, trained on Billy, daring him to do something. 

“I don’t think I will,” Billy said. “Like I said, if she wants them, she’s going to have to ask-” 

He wasn’t able to finish his sentence before Gilbert gently stepped around her, pushing her behind his back and grabbing fistfuls of Billy’s shirt, lifting him off of the ground and slamming him against a tree. Anne watched wide-eyed as Billy’s face dropped, suddenly full of fear of what the otherwise gentle Gilbert Blythe would do to him. 

“I asked you once, don’t make me do it again.” He threatened, his voice so low Anne barely heard it, his face only inches away from Billy’s. “I’ve beat you in a fight before, don’t make me kick your ass in front of everyone now, because I’m done being nice. Leave Anne alone. Do we have an understanding?” 

Billy nodded quickly, exhaling heavily when Gilbert set him down. His eyes darted back and forth between the two of them, face still twisted with fear as he threw Anne’s clothes down onto the ground and took off sprinting away from the swimming hole. 

“Anne, are you alright?” Diana asked, gently setting her hand on Anne’s shoulder. She jerked away from the touch, hissing at the pain that radiated through her body from the light touch. 

“You’re burnt badly,” Gilbert said. He had obviously come straight out of the water when he noticed Billy was causing trouble, and his hair and drawers were still dripping with water. He ran a hand through his hand quickly, squeezing some of the water out of it, sending droplets running down the contours of his chest. “Anne, get dressed. Bash has a salve, bush medicine, that helps with burns. You’ll need to put it on as soon as possible.” 

Anne shook her head, realizing for the first time since the whole incident that she was trembling fiercely. “No, I’ve caused enough trouble here already, I’ll just go home.” 

“You didn’t do anything,” Gilbert retorted. “Billy is a idiotic cad, he can’t help but cause trouble because he isn’t intelligent enough to do anything else. Now, I insist that you come with me. You could get sick with a burn like that.” 

“He’s right, Anne.” Diana chimed in, eyebrows knitted together in worry. “It looks awful…” 

Anne sighed, looking down at her arms and shoulders, imagining how her whole back must look. She had only ever had sunburns on her face, and never ones as horrible as the one she currently had all over her body. 

“Alright.” She relented, gathering her clothes from where Billy had thrown them to redress, wincing as she pulled her dress on, twinges of pain rolling through her every time the material brushed her skin. She sighed, her body hurt physically from the sunburn, and her heart hurt as well from the cruel words Billy had thrown her way, but she would hold it all in for the time being as she started walking with Gilbert towards his house. 

So much for a good start to summer. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this household Gilbert Blythe has chest hair and that is just the way it is. (anyone else find it super attractive? No, just me? Okay.) 
> 
> Thanks for reading, as always! Drop a comment letting me know what you thought about the chapter, if you'd like! See you next time!


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Anne gets badly sunburned, Gilbert comes to her rescue
> 
> (or, Anne and Gilbert realize that they are indeed, very thirsty for one another.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter! 
> 
> Something makes me think you guys are going to like this one ;)
> 
> Also, please note the change in rating. It'll be a little bit before things get super spicy, but we've definitely left T territory.

“Billy’s an idiot.” Gilbert said after they had been walking in silence for a while. 

“He’s tormented me since the moment I arrived in Avonlea, I’m used to it by now.” Anne sighed, keeping her gaze down on the path. Gilbert huffed in frustration next to her.

“You shouldn’t have to be used to it.” He said. “You have to know what he said isn’t true.” 

Anne bit her lip. “What did you hear him say?” 

“Enough to know that none of it was truthful.” 

“What exactly isn’t truthful, the fact that I’m a floozy or that the whole town thinks I’m one? Because I assure you that even after living here for three years, people still have their notions about me.” She shot back at him, finally looking up to meet his eyes. Gilbert just nodded slowly, before sighing and shrugging. 

“The people that matter, the ones that truly know you, know what is true and what is not. That’s all that matters.” He said after a while, and Anne just laughed bitterly as they trudged up to his house. 

“Anyone home?” Gilbert called out as they entered, setting his things aside. There was no response, and Anne picked up a slip of paper that was lying on the kitchen table, scanning it quickly. 

“Hazel’s taken Dellie for a walk, and Bash is out on an errand.” She said, and Gilbert nodded. 

“You can wait here, I’ll go get the salve for you.” He said before turning and disappearing down the hallway. Anne sat down gingerly, gritting her teeth as she stood as still and straight as possible so she wouldn’t put pressure on her back. The longer they had walked, the more it had hurt, and by the time they had gotten to Gilbert’s house she was in complete agony. She didn’t know how she was going to get any sleep that night with the state she was in. 

“Alright, just put this everywhere you’re burned tonight, and twice a day for two days or until the burns start to go away.” Gilbert said as he entered the room again, setting a small jar down on the table for her. It was filled to the top with a dark green substance, and when Anne opened the jar she was met with a strong, earthy smell. 

“Thank you,” She said, closing the jar and offering her friend a small smile. “It is going to be absolutely dreadful putting this on, and I can’t imagine how I’ll be able to get this on my back properly. I can’t tell Marilla about this, or she’d have a conniption.” 

She laughed lightly as she finished her statement, but Gilbert didn’t reciprocate her laughter, draping them in a heavy pause before Gilbert cleared his throat, bringing Anne’s attention back to him. “If you’d like- I mean, if you were comfortable with the idea… I suppose I could help you. Just for your back of course, strictly professional.” He said quickly, the tips of his ears turning pink the longer he talked. 

Anne thought over his proposal for a moment. Although she had been joking, she was right, she would never be able to apply the salve onto her back, which was where the worst of the burning was, and she did not want to delay the healing at all. It was Gilbert, he had already seen her earlier in the day in her underthings and had been a complete gentleman, she wasn’t worried about him doing anything untoward. Also, no one was home so there would be no witnesses to the act, which she reationalized was essentially the same as it never happening. 

Taking her long silence as negative, Gilbert cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, that was completely inappropriate of me. Please forgive-”   
“No, it’s alright.” Anne said quickly, holding her hand out to stop him. “Just, do it quickly. Marilla is probably expecting me home soon.” 

She watched as Gilbert’s eyes got ever so slightly wider, but only for a moment before he sat down beside her, opening up the jar as she unbuttoned her dress, pulling the top half off enough for him to reach her whole back. Anne put her back to him, trying to keep her breath steady as his hands gingerly started rubbing the salve across the center of her back. She inhaled sharply at the first touch, and she felt him hesitated, his hand pulling away slightly. 

“I’m fine,” She said quickly to reassure him. “Just sensitive.” 

She wasn’t sure if it was because of his hands on her back or the burn itself, but she didn’t feel like it was necessary to make the distinction at that moment. 

“Alright.” He said quietly from behind her. He worked methodically, spreading the thick paste across her back, gently dipping underneath the straps of her chemise, leaving no bit of skin untouched. He paid extra attention to her shoulders, the salve leaving them glistening slightly from the late afternoon sunlight streaming in through the window. Anne closed her eyes as he worked, her heart fluttering traitorously. What would Ruby say if she could see her right now? She would probably weep and die of a broken heart, Anne suspected. She sighed heavily, being pulled back to her senses as Gilbert cleared his throat. 

“All done, unless there’s somewhere else you can’t reach…” He trailed off as she turned around to face him, the neck of her dress still down, exposing her collar bones and the top of her chest to him. She looked into his eyes, gasping quietly at how dark they were. She wouldn’t claim to know much about men, but for the first time when it came to Gilbert, she could not deny the look of want that he had for her. It was as if he was burning straight into the depths of her soul with unreserved desire, which made her heart beat faster than it already was. 

“You’ve already done my back,” She said quietly, worried that if she spoke any louder it would break the spell that had been cast in the room. “I fear it’ll leave everything uneven if you don’t finish the area.” 

With that, she lifted her chin up slightly, granting him access to her throat and collarbones. It was then Gilbert’s turn to inhale sharply, his hand trembling slightly as he reached out, fingers brushing the skin of her throat. She hummed, her eyes closing as his fingers gently traced over her collarbones. It wasn’t an efficient way of putting on the salve, but Anne knew that they had passed the point of strict medical aid. She wasn’t sure exactly what it was they were doing, they were definitely in uncharted territory, but Anne wasn’t scared, because it was Gilbert. He would never do anything to hurt her, and she trusted him as his fingers mapped out the topography of her collarbones. 

“Anne-girl,” He murmured, his hand sliding to cup the back of her neck. She drew in a ragged breath, her whole body buzzing-

And then the door opened. 

The pair jumped apart as if they had been electrocuted, Anne ignoring the pain as she quickly righted herself, pulling her dress back into place and buttoning the back up quickly. 

Bash stood in the doorway, eyes wide with shock as they darted back and forth between the two guilty teenagers, before clearing his throat. Neither of them would meet his eyes, their faces bright red as they stood uncertain of how he would react.

“Anne, I reckon it’s time for you to go home.” He said finally, his usually jovial voice firm. She didn’t say anything, only grabbing her things before breezing past him, eyes trained on her shoes. 

The door had not even closed before Bash was turning on Gilbert, eyes wide. “Care to explain what the hell that just was, then?” He said, nearly shouting. Gilbert opened his mouth to explain, but Bash shut him up with a wave of his hand. “Nah, I’ll tell you what that was. That was stupid, boy! What do you suppose would have happened if it was anyone else that walked in here just now? My mother would have keeled over with a heart attack, and Lord help us all if it had been Rachel Lynde turning up unannounced, as you know she is prone to doing! Do you want to sully the girl’s reputation? Want to get your hands on her so badly that you’re willing to risk ruining her in the eyes of the whole town?” 

“No!” Gilbert shouted back, standing up to defend himself. “It wasn’t like that-” 

“Oh, so what was it then? You act like that with all the girls in town? You open up all of their dresses and stick your hands under their tops?” Bash retorted, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“No!” Gilbert shouted again. “She had a sunburn, I was giving her the salve you use but she couldn’t get it on her back, so I was helping her, it was purely clinical-”   
“Oh really, because your hands weren’t anywhere near her back, Doctor Blythe. And do you look at all your patients like you’re seconds away from bending ‘em over the table and having your way with them? If it is purely clinical then why’s your pants looking a little tight, aye, Doctor Blythe?” Bash yelled, throwing accusations one after the other before nodding down to the offending area. 

Gilbert’s face grew hot, and he shook his head, finished with the conversation as he stormed out of the kitchen. 

“You come back here, this conversation isn’t over!” The older man shouted, and Gilbert shook his head as he stomped up the stairs and disappeared into his room. 

“Yes it is!” Was the last thing he shouted before slamming his door shut with an air of finality. He knew Bash wouldn’t follow him, and Gilbert huffed as he began to strip out of his clothes, now uncomfortably damp from putting them on before drying off completely.

His head was spinning as he dried off and redressed, hardly believing what had just taken place in his kitchen. He had not invited Anne over with the intention of touching her at all, he truly only wanted to give her the salve so she wouldn’t be in so much pain. But then he had offered to help her and from there they started down a very slippery slope, and he knew that had Bash not come in when he did, he wasn’t sure how inclined he would have been to stop. He would have let Anne set the pace, of course, but he also knew that he had only been seconds away from kissing her. Really, he still wanted nothing more than to haul her into his lap and kiss her senseless, tangling his hands into her long hair, still unbound and flowing in gentle waves down her back. He wanted to taste her, her mouth, her skin, every inch of her he wanted to cover with his mouth. The way her breath hitched with every touch had him wondering what other sounds he could pull from her lips. What would he have to do to draw his name from her mouth? Where would he have to kiss, have to touch, to make that a reality?

Gilbert nearly groaned aloud at the thought, wondering why he had even bothered with redressing as he practically threw himself back on his bed, shoving his pants down over his hips as images of Anne, both real and bred from his imagination, filled his mind as he set about ridding his body of the tension that had been building in it all day. 

He knew that inevitably, he would have to talk to Bash about what had occured, and he wanted to be of a clear mind when it happened. So he pushed all thoughts of Bash out of his mind, and instead filled it with the thoughts of vibrant red hair, and miles and miles of smooth, pale skin. 

___________________

As he had suspected, the conversation did come later that night, after a very awkward and tense dinner-

(“What’s got you boys in such a huff?” Hazel had asked, looking back and forth between the two men. The two were still refusing to even look at each other, let alone speak, which left Delphine to fill the silence with her babbles and screeches. 

“Leave it be, mother.” Bash said gruffly, keeping his head down as he pushed potatoes around his plate aimlessly. 

“If you did something to offend Mr. Blythe, I’ll have your hide-” Hazel had started.

“I said leave it, woman!” Bash snapped, slamming his palm on the table. The outburst had shocked Delphine enough to make her cry, and Hazel tutted at her son as she took Delphine and consoled her, still giving skeptical looks at the two men every so often.) 

When Bash found Gilbert sitting on the porch, he had his arms loosely clasped in front of him as he stared off into the night. He wasn’t reading or doing anything, simply waiting for his brother to find him. Bash cleared his throat as he settled down next to him, holding out a glass filled with a dark amber liquid. Gilbert chuckled as he took the rum from him, tapping their glasses together before taking a small sip. 

“Figured we’d need rum for this talk.” Bash said simply, taking a long sip from his own cup. They sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the sound of crickets and owls calling as they drank slowly. Bash was the one who finally broke the silence, clearing his throat again. “I’m sorry for shouting at you, just wasn’t expecting what I walked in the middle of, and it put me a little out of sorts.” 

“Apology accepted.” Gilbert said with a chuckle. “And if it makes you feel any better, I wasn’t expecting any of that, either.” 

Bash laughed once, raising his eyebrows as he glanced over at the younger man. “Want to explain how all of it went down, then? It seems like most people don’t go from talking casually to undressing without a few steps in the middle.” 

Gilbert set the record straight then, telling Bash about the swimming hole, Anne falling asleep in the sun, Billy coming out of nowhere just to cause trouble, Gilbert offering to put the salve on her, all the way to the moment Bash had walked in the door. 

“It started out innocent,” He finished with a sigh. “But somewhere along the way we both got caught up in the moment and…” 

“You started thinking with the wrong head?” Bash finished with a chuckle. Gilbert scoffed and shoved the older man, which only made him laugh harder. When he settled down again, Gilbert sighed, knocking back the last of his rum. 

“Please don’t tell anyone about this.” He said. “It’s not like anything  _ really  _ happened, and Anne and I aren’t… we don’t have an understanding or anything like that.” 

He didn’t see the hit coming, but felt it when Bash’s open hand smacked the back of his head. “Ow! What was that for?” 

“You’re meaning to tell me that you had her here, home alone, hands all over her, and you aren’t even courting the poor girl? I have half a mind to go to Matthew Cuthbert right now, just for you being that stupid.” Bash chastised. 

“No!” Gilbert said quickly, shaking his head. “Please don’t.” 

“Then make it right, Blythe. You’re sweet on Anne, right?” He asked, raising an eyebrow as he stuck a finger to his chest. Gilbert nodded slowly. 

“She’s the most incredible girl I’ve ever met.” He said. 

“Then you go over there tomorrow and do things the right way. It ain’t right to drag Anne along like what you did today. I never met your father, but I know he didn’t raise a fool.” Bash said, clapping a hand on his shoulder. Gilbert sighed, knowing that he was right. It wasn’t fair to Anne to not give her the proper experience of courtship. She deserved it, and he didn’t want her to think that all he wanted was lustful touches in stolen moments. He wanted all of her. He wanted to take her on walks, and picnics, and do everything the proper way. As beautiful as she was, Gilbert loved Anne’s mind most of all, and that was what he wanted more than anything. 

His mind was made up, the next morning he would go to Green Gables, flowers in hand, and ask Anne if she would like to go on a walk with him. He would give the flowers to Marilla, and shake Matthew’s hand, promising to have her back in once piece before lunchtime. He would do right by Anne, He would be a perfect gentleman. He would be the man she deserved. 

“Bash, thank you.” He said after a moment. Bash simply waved a hand in the air, pouring himself another drink and holding the bottle out for Gilbert. He smiled, holding his glass up to be refilled. He took a long sip, relishing the burn of the alcohol before turning back to his friend. “So you aren’t mad about earlier?” 

Bash snorted, shaking his head. “No, I’m not your father or your keeper. You’re a grown man, you can make your own decisions. All I ask is for deniability. I don’t want to see anything, I don’t want to hear anything, and don’t be giving Dellie any playmates until you both got a ring on your finger. I’ll turn a blind eye when you need me to, but I don’t want the Cuthbert’s after my head if you can’t control yours, agreed?” 

Gilbert nearly choked on his drink at the mention of playmates, but nodded all the same. 

“And we never talk about this again?” Gilbert proposed, holding his glass out to Bash. He threw his head back and laughed before tapping their glasses together once more. 

“I’ll drink to that.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mwahahaha, I would apologize for being a tease, but I'm really not sorry at all. Thanks for reading, and let me know what you think!


	6. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The heat of the day gets to Anne.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used every ounce of my self control to not post this immediately after I posted ch.5 (which I got so many lovely comments from y'all about it, I'm so glad you liked it!) but now it is 3:11 am, and chapter seven is almost finished, which means that my self control has run out... So here's the new chapter. 
> 
> t.w. this chapter contains some vomiting and fainting, so if that's something that makes you uncomfortable, be aware or feel free to message me and I can tell you exactly what part to skip.

For a little while after she left Gilbert’s, Anne convinced herself it was the stress of the day that was making her feel so terrible. She first noticed that she was a little lightheaded on her walk home, but she had justified that by saying that she was still a bit fuzzy from what had transpired at Gilbert’s. She felt herself flush at the mere thought of Gilbert looking at her as if he was about to eat her whole, his eyes baring himself open to her. It was like his touch was seared into her skin, her collarbone still tingling from the way his fingertips had trailed over it. 

Then, at dinner time, she started to feel worse. She could barely finish her dinner, the whole plate unappealing as her stomach twisted and turned. This, she reasoned, was because of the nerves. What would Bash think of her now? He must have thought she was some sort of harlot, alone with Gilbert, dress practically hanging off of her abdomen. Part of her wondered what would have transpired had he not interrupted, but she forced those thoughts out of her head. Marilla had asked her if she was alright, and she nodded, sitting up a little straighter in her seat even though her sunburn had only gotten worse as the day went on, and her back lit up with searing pain at every little movement. 

By the time she got ready for bed, she had to gingerly take her dress off, tears pricking at her eyes as she stripped naked and started applying the salve to her body. Her back was definitely worse off than her front because she had fallen asleep, but her chest, arms, and legs were still an unnatural pink. She nearly screamed when she tried to put more on her back, and bit into her pillow worried that Marilla or Jerry (who had moved in earlier in the spring to help around the farm more. Anne knew that Matthew was setting the boy up to take over the farm soon, but Jerry was not yet privy to that information) would come running if they thought something was wrong. Somehow though, she managed to get most of her upper back and the backs of her thighs coated in the thick green ointment, and when she was finished she took her first glance at herself in her mirror. 

She couldn’t contain the gasp that escaped her at the sight. She was right to say that it had gotten worse, but she was not expecting the defined line that crossed her back, separating what skin had been covered and what had been exposed to the sun. The skin that had been exposed was now a shockingly bright shade of red, and little white bumps had started to rise up in patches, giving her flesh a mottled, oozing look to it. Anne took a deep breath to calm herself down, closing her eyes and breathing slowly for a moment. She would be fine, it would look better in the morning, all she needed now was some rest. 

She decided that it would be better to go without a nightgown, and crawled into bed naked, only pulling the sheets up enough to cover her bottom, leaving her back exposed to the cool night air. She laid as still as possible, closing her eyes and breathing slowly to calm her racing heart. Just a little rest, she reassured herself, and then everything would be okay. 

________________

She was not okay.   
She knew from the moment she woke up, stomach churning and head pounding a beat against her skull. She barely had time to react before her stomach twisted almost painfully, and she pushed herself up onto her elbows, and promptly vomited all over her bed. She groaned, feeling so weak that she almost fell down into her sick. She took a deep breath and sat back on her knees, clutching her head as she did so. Even the dull light of the moon filtering in through her window was too bright and sent pain ripping through her skull. She gingerly got out of bed, stumbling around her room as she tugged on a nightgown, throwing up again in the process. She felt clammy and disoriented, and nearly fell into the wall multiple times as she stumbled down the hallway towards Marilla’s room. She wasn’t sure how she managed to knock loud enough to get her attention, or stay upright when Marilla opened the door, rubbing her eyes and holding a candle up to inspect her. 

“Anne, you look awful-” She gasped, reaching out to touch her cheek, brushing a sweaty piece of hair out of her face and behind her ear. 

“I don’t feel so good.” She slurred, her vision going spotty as she stumbled, first to the left, then to the right, and everything went dark as the world pitched sideways and the ground rushed towards her. 

After that, everything came in fragments. 

_ “Anne! Jerry, Matthew! Something’s wrong with Anne-”  _

_ “What’s happened to her?”  _

_ “Someone get Gilbert-”  _

_ “I’ll go see if the doctor’s in-”  _

_ “How long has she been like this?”  _

_ “Did you see her room? She’s already been sick twice-”  _

_ “My word, look at how red she is!”  _

_ “Someone fill up the tub, cool water-”  _

_ “Doctor is out of town on business, won’t be back-” _

_ “Gilbert, she’s vomiting again-”  _

_ “Roll her on her side, don’t let her choke-”  _

_ “You’re going to be okay Anne-girl, everything’s going to be okay.”  _

_ ________________ _

When she woke up again, her mouth felt like it was full of cotton, and she coughed weakly, barely opening her eyes to see that the room was filled with dim light, like the sun was just beginning to rise outside. She tried to sit up, only to have someone gently push her back down onto the bed and press something to her lips. She drank the water that was offered greedily, finishing the glass in three or four gulps, breathing heavily as she finished, leaning back into her pillow. 

“You certainly gave us a fright last night.” Marilla whispered after a moment, her cool fingers running over the skin of her face, tracing the contours of her forehead, nose, and cheekbones soothingly. 

“What happened?” Anne asked after a moment, voice hoarse and scratchy. 

“You were very ill. Severely dehydrated and wouldn’t stop vomiting, sun poisoning, I think Gilbert called it.” Marilla explained. 

Anne was quiet for a moment before asking her next question. “Am I in trouble?” 

She heard Marilla sigh as she continued to stroke her face and hair. “Don’t you worry about that now, we’ll talk about the circumstances that led to the ailment once you’re better. For now, just rest.” 

She didn’t need to be told twice before falling back into a deep sleep. 

When she woke up the second time, she was actually able to open her eyes, noticing that the room was filled with light, and she guessed that it had to be sometime in the afternoon. Her head was still pounding, but she somehow managed to sit up, then stand, carefully pulling on her dressing gown before making her very slow trek downstairs. She stopped at the base of the stairs, taking in the sight of Marilla and Gilbert sitting at the table. Marilla was reading a book, and Gilbert had several papers spread out around him, studying them intently. Anne wrapped her dressing gown a little tighter around her body, coughing quietly to announce her presence. Marilla was at her side the moment she realized she was there, offering her arm to Anne as she led her to the table. 

“You shouldn’t be out of bed,” She scolded lightly, offering her arm for Anne to lean on as she helped her to the table

“I was thirsty.” Anne said simply as she sat down, breathing hard from exertion from the faintest bit of exercise. 

“You stay there, I’ll get you something to drink, and something to eat. You need to get your energy up after last night.” Marilla said, stepping into the kitchen, leaving Anne and Gilbert alone at the table. Gilbert shuffled his papers, bringing them together in a neat stack before looking up at her. 

“How are you feeling?” He asked carefully. 

“Like I’ve been trampled by at least one thousand horses.” She said bluntly, crossing her arms on the table and setting her chin down to rest on top of them. Gilbert laughed at her description, giving her a shrug. 

“That’s not surprising, you were in quite a state last night. I thought Matthew had a heart attack when Jerry came tearing into the house at three in the morning, screaming about needing help.” He chuckled. Anne winced, she had pieced together that Gilbert had been the one to take care of her, but she knew that she didn’t remember most of the details. She hated that she had caused everyone so much stress.

“How bad was it?” She asked, hoping he would be honest with her. 

“The sunburns were incredibly severe, worse than I initially thought. You were severely dehydrated, which led to the confusion, fever, incoordination, and vomiting. I had to tell Matthew and Marilla about the swimming hole, I hope you can forgive me for that.” He said, and she waved off his concern. 

“There’s nothing to forgive. They would have found out eventually, and Marilla said we can discuss everyone once I’m feeling better.” She said, right as the older woman reentered, setting a large glass of water and a plate of bread, cheese, and fruit in front of Anne. She thanked her, going straight for the water, hoping it would soothe her dry mouth. 

“Don’t drink so fast, you’ll upset your stomach.” Gilbert warned, and she chose to ignore him, setting the glass down after she had drank nearly all of it. 

“But I’m so thirsty.” She complained, and he chuckled. 

“Fine, but when you’re throwing up later, you’ll wish you had listened to me.” He said as he stood up. “I hate to interrupt your eating, but I am here for a purpose.” 

Anne looked up at him in confusion. She realized in that moment that she had not once questioned why Gilbert was there, and instead simply accepted his presence at her table. She nodded, wondering what his intentions of being there were. He moved around the table, clearing his throat as he sat down next to her. She noticed that he was keeping his distance from her, his body language closed off. It was nothing like he had been yesterday, his body practically pressed up against hers as he ran his hands over her body. She remembered the way it felt, how she could feel his body heat radiating off of him, the way his breath hit the back of her neck in warm puffs as he rubbed the soothing salve onto her skin. She took another sip of her water, hoping it would clear her head and hide the blush that had settled on her cheeks. 

“I’d just like to do a quick check up, assess how you’re feeling. The doctor is in Carmody and couldn’t get here, so I thought I’d take it upon myself to ensure you’re cared for.” He said, opening up a small journal and pulling a pencil from his pocket. Anne nodded, feeling disappointed by the answer even though she wasn’t sure what she had expected him to say. He started by asking her a few questions, mostly about her symptoms. Was she nauseous? Did her head hurt? Did she feel dizzy or disoriented? She answered them as quickly as she could, watching as Gilbert’s scrawl filled up the page. After he was finished with the questions, he took her pulse and felt her face for fever, the weight of his fingers heavy against her wrist, and she hoped that it wouldn’t be some absurdly high number that would reveal how fast her heart was racing. Gilbert’s hands had been on her more in the past two days than the entire three years she had known him, and she wasn’t quite sure how she felt about it, or what had occurred to lead to such a development. He wrote down a few more notes before standing up and turning to Marilla. 

“I’ll step around the corner now, for privacy, but Marilla, I’ll need you to inspect Anne’s back and tell me if there has been any improvement.” He said, and Anne wondered if she was imagining the flush on his neck that started creeping out from the collar of his shirt. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t seen before, but she supposed that the rules of propriety still stood, regardless of what had happened in private. Gilbert didn’t meet her eyes as he stepped out of sight, and Marilla helped her pull the sleeves of her nightgown off to expose her back. 

“It’s about the same, I’m afraid.” Marilla said with a sigh. 

“And there is still blistering and hives in the affected area?” Gilbert’s voice came from the kitchen. Marilla confirmed that, and helped Anne situate herself before giving Gilbert the okay to come back in. Gilbert sat down again opposite her, skimming over his notes. 

“Unfortunately, there isn’t much we can do besides let time do the healing.” He said, with a sigh. “Continue with everything I told you this morning, Marilla. Lots of fluids, rest, no exposure to sunlight until the burns subside and keep the blisters clean. I would say that becoming infected is my biggest concern at the moment.” 

He stayed for a few more minutes after that, chatting with Marilla as Anne snacked on the food her guardian had brought her, but finally Gilbert stood, ready to take his leave. 

“Let me walk you out.” Anne said, standing up slowly. She felt weak on her feet, but she took a deep breath to steady herself, not wanting to show either of them how she truly felt. At the slightest misstep, she knew she would immediately be confined to bed again. 

“No, that’s alright. You shouldn’t be up.” Gilbert said, and she crossed her arms across her chest, giving him a defiant look. 

“I’ll show you out, and then straight back to bed. I promise.” She said, and watched as Gilbert pondered her proposal for a second before relenting. She smiled and slowly walked with him to the porch, standing at the threshold as he turned to face her. 

“And you’re sure you feel alright? I wouldn’t put it past you to exaggerate how well you’re feeling.” He said with a playful smirk, and she scoffed. 

“I would never lie to my doctor.” She said, shooting back the same playful smile before biting her lip, clutching the fabric of her dressing gown tightly in her hands. 

“Gilbert,” She said, taking on a slightly more serious tone. “Thank you for all your help… both yesterday and today.” 

She watched as his eyes went wide at what she was implying, and he coughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Yes, well,” He stammered, the usually cool and confident Gilbert Blythe, reduced to a nervous mess. “That’s what friends are for.”

Anne couldn’t help but smile at him, and gave him a small nod. “I’ll see you, Gilbert.” 

And with that she shut the door, leaving him standing on the porch, stunned by the simple comment. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hides* 
> 
> I know this probably isn't what people thought was going to happen, and I know a lot of people wanted for Anne to be all giddy and flirty after what went down at Gilbert's, but I had already had the idea of Anne getting sick in my mind and had written this whole chapter before ch.5 was even posted, and decided to chase that rabbit hole, but just trust me guys! Everything you want will be given in time, lol. As always, feel free to leave a comment letting me know what you thought, or what you'd like to see next! Thanks for reading, and I hope all of you are staying sane and healthy. xxx :)


	7. Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After days of bedrest, Anne is more than ready to see her friends again (but is she really ready to see everyone?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *throws a new chapter out then runs away to force myself to do schoolwork* 
> 
> Here's an update, because I really don't want to write a three page brief on Latin American current events (super interesting topic, but I'd rather be writing about Anne and Gilbert) 
> 
> enjoy!

After nearly four days of bedrest, Anne was practically bursting at the seams at the prospect of getting out of the house. Diana had been her only visitor, on the second day of her house arrest and while that had been nice, after that she had read through every book she owned by the third day of her confinement, leading her to literally cry from boredom as she begged Marilla to let her go to the Queen’s study group at school. 

“Oh please Marilla! I beg of you, I’ll be in the shade, and I’ve regained all my strength and haven’t felt woozy in days. If I have to remain lying down anymore, I fear I’ll develop bedsores and we’ll be in more trouble than we started. You even said this morning that my back was looking much better, and I simply cannot dally anymore with my studies! This is my future at stake!” She cried. Marilla sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose as she took a deep breath, trying to hold onto what little patience she had. 

“Alright, fine.” She relented, setting her hands on her hips. Anne squealed, practically sprinting to the door to grab her hat and books. “No, you wait right there!” 

Anne stopped in her tracks, turning back to face Marilla. 

“I promised you we would wait until you were better to talk about what led to you being so ill, and don’t think I’ve forgotten. You are to go straight to school, and straight home after, understood? I’ll wait until I’ve heard the story from you to make any judgments, but based on what Gilbert told me, it seemed like your own poor choices got you into this situation.” She said, and Anne sighed, nodding in agreement. With that, Marilla waved her off, and Anne sprinted out of the house and took off towards school as fast as her legs could carry her. 

She had to stop running and take a break halfway to school, knowing that she probably overdid it by running. She stopped, braced herself against a tree, and took deep breaths before starting her walk again. She slowed her pace for the second half, deciding that she didn’t want to show up sweaty, breathless and then promptly faint upon her arrival. Thankfully, they had not started when she got there, and everyone was gathered in the center of the room chatting when she entered. 

“Anne’s back!” Tilly exclaimed as they all rushed to meet her. Ruby was the first to reach her, wrapping her in a large hug. 

“Ow!” Anne yelped in pain as her friend squeezed her, and the other girl let go of her quickly. “My back is still pretty sore.” She explained, and Ruby gasped. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” She apologized in her light, squeaky voice, and Anne waved off her concern. 

“It’s alright, I’m glad to be back.” She said, taking her hat off and hanging it on a hook. 

“What happened? Diana told us a little bit, but she said she wasn’t sure about the details herself.” Jane asked, as they made their way to their desks, congregating in a little circle. Anne cleared her throat, looking around at the two circles that had formed around her. Closer to her were her friends, eyes wide with concern and curiosity, and then behind them the boys had formed a loose clump, still listening in on the conversation even though they were pretending that they weren’t. 

“Well, I just got too hot at the swimming hole, that’s all.” She explained quickly. 

“Really? You had to stay home for four days because you got overheated?” Josie scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“W-well, not exactly,” Anne stuttered, not wanting to seem dramatic but also not wanting to share the full story. 

“She had sun poisoning,” Gilbert interjected, stepping into the inner circle of girls. “I’ve seen many people come into Dr.Ward’s office with it after working outside for long hours, but Anne’s was the worst case I’ve ever seen. Personally, I think she should still be resting.” 

“Personally, I think you should stay out of it.” She snapped, sending him a harsh look. “Anyways, I’m all better now and ready to study for the entrance exam, it’s going to be here before we know it and I want to be as prepared as possible.”   
“Ah, yes! That’s the attitude I like to hear!” Miss Stacy said as she bustled into the room, calling everyone to attention. “Welcome back, Anne. Now let us begin our academic pursuits!” 

Even though they didn’t get the chance to talk much throughout the study group, Anne was still glad to be back with her friends. Even though they weren’t able to speak, the girls still managed to pass notes around the group, talking about the tea Tilly was hosting at her house the next weekend, and the new notices that had appeared on the board since school had let out. 

When Miss Stacy dismissed them for the day, Anne dawdled. Even though she knew Marilla was expecting her at home, she wanted to relish the last few moments with her friends after four very lonely days recovering at home. She wasn’t quite sure what was going to happen when she got home, and what sort of punishment she would face for her actions. Maybe she could find some way to downplay what had happened, she could say that it was only girls at the swimming hole, and Gilbert just happened to know about it. 

Eventually though, she could wait no longer and said goodbye to her friends, gathering her things and heading for the door. She stopped in the coat room to grab her hat, and when she turned to the door she was surprised to see Gilbert standing on the boys side, bag slung over his shoulder. 

“Afternoon,” He said with a small smile as he held the door open for her, letting her walk out first before following her down the steps. 

“Afternoon.” She responded, holding her books close to her chest. “Can I help you?” 

Gilbert nodded once, clearing his throat. “I, uh, I was wondering if I could walk you home?” 

“Walk me home?” She repeated, drawing her eyebrows together. Sensing her confusion, he raised an eyebrow. 

“Yes?” He said slowly as the doors to the school opened and the rest of her friends filed out. Anne felt panic rise in her chest as she looked at them and hastily back at Gilbert, who was still looking down on her, an eyebrow raising at her in confusion.

“No.” She said quickly, shaking her head rapidly. 

“No?” Gilbert repeated, face falling at her rejection. 

“Yes, no. Uh, see you.” She said, ducking her head and taking off down the path, leaving him standing there confused as to what had just transpired. 

Anne didn’t look back as she sped walked all the way home, knowing she would rather face Marilla than bear the thought of Gilbert walking her home. She was lucky she had made her getaway when she did. What would her friends have thought if they had walked out to see the two of them still talking? She surely would have found herself in the center of a scandal and that was the last thing she wanted. She would be a loyal friend, no matter what. 

She let herself relax as she approached Green Gables, but only slightly, still keeping her guard up due to her looming confrontation with Marilla. 

“I’m home!” She called, setting her books down and hanging her hat up. 

“In the parlor!” Marilla responded, and Anne smoothed her hands nervously over her dress as she made her way to her guardian, but she stopped in her tracks when she saw Mrs. Lynde sitting on the couch next to Marilla. 

She took back her previous statement, she would rather face the wrath of her friends over Mrs. Lynde anyday. 

____________________

By the time Mrs. Lynde left, Anne was ready to throw herself off of the tallest cliff on Prince Edward Island. She wasn’t sure how long she had sat while Mrs. Lynde lectured her on appropriate behavior and dress, and how she was lucky no one else knew of their little adventure to the swimming hole. 

_They probably will now, you insufferable gossip._ Anne thought bitterly, struggling to keep her face neutral. She knew if she showed even the barest hint of a nasty expression, that it would send the older woman on a whole other tirade. 

“You’re not a little girl anymore, Anne,” Mrs. Lynde said, her eyes sharp and holding the slightest bit of condescension. “Who knows what the young men of this town could have gotten away with, out in the middle of nowhere while you flounced around in your bloomers!” 

Anne wanted to groan and shout at her. _The boys paid no attention to them! They were too busy being stupid to care about what we were doing! And I did not “flounce around”, thank you very much!_

While she did hold her tongue on most things, when Mrs. Lynde asked her to give up the names of the other students at the watering hole, Anne refused. 

“I don’t think it's pertinent that you have that information.” She said stubbornly, crossing her arms. Mrs. Lynde gaped at her in shock, turning to Marilla. 

“Marilla, make her tell me at once! If there’s scandalous behavior happening in town, I think it’s only fair that the parents of Avonlea know to keep a tight leash on their children.” She said indignantly, and Marilla sighed, giving Anne a pleading look. She stood her ground, crossing her arms over her chest as she mimed zipping her lips shut, locking her mouth, and throwing away the key. She would rather cut all of her hair off again than tattle on her friends. 

Mrs. Lynde continued her ranting for a bit longer after that, but mercifully left, leaving Anne practically fuming. She managed to hold her temper until Marilla reentered the parlor after seeing her friend out, but was not able to hold it in as she shot up from her seat. 

“You got _Rachel Lynde_ to come lecture me?” She shouted, throwing her hands in the air. “You said you would let me explain the story to you before making any judgements, but obviously I was not allowed that courtesy.” 

“Anne-” 

“I know that perhaps it was not the best judgement on my part, but I would much rather you ban me from visiting friends or give me extra chores than have Mrs. Lynde come and lecture me on propriety, while also trying to get me to tell her more information so she can make sure the whole town knows!” She ranted. “Which everyone will know now anyways, because without any names she’s sure to go to every parent in Avonlea making sure their precious children are acting appropriately! I have half a mind to go and tell her it was only Gilbert and I there, at least I’ll spare my friends the trouble and keep them out of this mess!” 

“Anne, that’s quite enough!” Marilla snapped. Anne huffed, throwing herself down onto the couch. Marilla sighed, rubbing her temples as she sat down next to Anne. “Now listen to me, I didn’t mean for Rachel to know, and I’m sorry you had to sit through her lecture. I assure you, I didn’t want to listen to it either.”  
“She is exceptionally talented at sticking her nose into places it doesn’t belong.” Anne grumbled in response. Marilla laughed humorlessly, raising her eyebrows slightly. 

“I won’t argue you on that point.” She said, not agreeing with her statement, but also not admonishing her for making it. “And don’t you dare say you and Gilbert were alone out there, if anything that would make this situation worse for everyone. I’ll try and talk some sense into Rachel, and ask for her discretion on the matter. ” 

Marilla stood up then, smoothing out the wrinkles in her dress. “I suppose you have learned your lesson.” She said simply. “Having to endure Rachel’s talks is punishment enough.” 

Anne sighed with relief, practically melting into the couch. Thank goodness. 

“But,” Marilla said quickly. “You do not want to know what will happen if I hear of something like this happening again, understood? You had us worried to death, you’re lucky Gilbert came as quickly as he did and knew what to do. He stayed by your side all night making sure you were alright, the poor thing.” She said, giving her a pointed look before taking her leave to track down Rachel. 

After Marilla left, Anne sat on the couch for a while, mind spinning. Her last summer in Avonlea before heading off to college was becoming more and more complicated with every day that passed. She had been curious as to why it seemed to be deviating from the fun, carefree summer that she had dreamed of, but it was becoming increasingly clear what the source of all of her trouble was. It was because a certain someone had decided to weasel his way into her life. Helping her, including her in silly games, making her head spin with his touches, sitting by her bedside all night when she was ill, and the latest most bold act: offering to walk her home from school. She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest as she glared at nothing in particular. 

Stupid Gilbert Blythe. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: I've been in such a "Anne and Gilbert" phase that I've accidentally called my cat Gilbert several times now. His name is Roger. The mistake it obviously because I've fallen deep into the Shirbert rabbit hole, but oh well, I might as well set up camp if I'm going to be here a while. lol. Thanks for reading and commenting, they make this gal very happy. :) See you next time!


	8. Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gilbert's perspective on the last few days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo hoo, new chapter! Here's Gilbert's POV on everything that's been going on (tbh Gilbert is actually easier to write than Anne in a lot of ways) This chapter was really fun to write, so I hope you enjoy it!

Gilbert was convinced that someone- whether it be God or the universe or The Powers That Be- was actively working against him in his efforts of gaining Anne’s affections. After the day at the swimming hole, he was determined to begin his pursuit of Anne. He had even fallen asleep early that night so he could get up and pick wildflowers for her after finishing his morning chores. Still, he was thankful for the extra sleep when he was jerked awake just after three in the morning with a ruckus coming from downstairs. 

“Help, help!” He heard the thick accent of Jerry Baynard call out. He knew that Jerry had moved in with the Cuthberts recently, which meant that someone at Green Gables needed help. Gilbert shot up in bed, not even bothering with a dressing gown as he tore out of his room and down the stairs, blood rushing in his ears and his heart pounded loudly. 

He met Jerry at the bottom of the stairs, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as the frenchman grabbed him by his shoulders. 

“Gilbert, you need to come quick-” He said, chest heaving with exertion and panic. 

“What’s happened? Is it Matthew, has he had another heart attack?” Gilbert asked, trying to remain calm as Bash opened his bedroom door, holding a crying Delphine.   
“What the hell is going on here?” He asked, and Gilbert held up a hand to stop him before turning back to Jerry. 

“No, it’s not Matthew, it’s Anne-” 

He wasn’t able to get another word out before Gilbert was bounding up the stairs, a whole new kind of panic washing over him as he quickly dressed, probably looking like a mess as he came down the steps not two minutes later. 

“Let’s go.” He said, nodding to Jerry. “Tell me what’s happened on the way.” 

The two of them practically ran back to Green Gables, Jerry breathlessly explaining that Anne had collapsed in the hallway, but he didn’t know much else. Gilbert wanted to kick himself, he should not have let her leave yesterday without assessing her. He had gotten preoccupied and failed to do his job as an aspiring physician. How could he ever be a good doctor if he missed obvious signs of illness? 

“Marilla, I brought Gilbert.” Jerry called as they entered the house, and Gilbert immediately ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time. 

He found Marilla and Anne in the hallway, Anne seemingly still unconscious with her head resting on Marilla’s lap. Gilbert dropped to his knees opposite Marilla, gently pulling Anne into his lap to assess her. He noticed that her skin was clammy and covered with a thin sheen of sweat, and he could feel the heat radiating off of her as he placed two fingers to the pulse point in her neck. 

“How long has she been like this?” He asked, trying to count her pulse as Marilla stumbled through an explanation of what had occured. 

“I have no idea, she seemed a little tired at supper, and complained that her stomach was hurting and that she didn’t have much of an appetite.” Marilla said. “Then she woke me up probably a half hour ago, she seemed confused and hardly got a word out before she collapsed.” 

“Has she woken up since then?” He asked, and Marilla shook her head, worried tears brimming in her eyes. 

“Did you see her room? She’s already been sick twice, there’s vomit all over the floor and bed.” Jerry said, walking out of a room at the end of the hallway that he assumed must have been Anne’s. 

“We need to get her downstairs. I need more light.” Gilbert said, gently scooping Anne up into his arms to carry her down to the kitchen. He laid her on the table as Jerry lit the lanterns, filling the room with a warm glow. 

“Do you know what’s wrong with her?” Marilla asked desperately, and he bit his lip, wracking his brain. 

“I think so.” He said, putting one arm over her chest to keep her stable as he gently lifted her up, pulling her nightgown off of her shoulders to expose her back, ignoring Marilla’s gasp at the impropriety of it. She didn’t have long to think about how proper- or improper- he was being, because as soon as her eyes landed on Anne’s back her hand went to her mouth, covering the loud gasp. Anne’s back looked terrible, the salve having done very little to remedy the burns. Her skin was blistered and covered with hives, the whole thing a mottled mess of bright red and stark white. Gilbert’s heart broke at the sight of it, and he wanted nothing more than to reach out and stroke the smooth skin of her back like he had earlier that, wishing that his touch could take away the pain. 

“My word, look how red she is! How could this have happened?” Marilla asked frantically, and Gilbert sighed, ready to give her a brief explanation, only to be stopped by Anne stirring in his arms. He quickly turned his attention to her, keeping her upright as he leaned forward to look at her face. 

“Anne? Can you hear me? Are you alright?” He asked, brushing her hair back from her face. She didn’t respond, eyes barely opening as she groaned before coughing, gagging, and throwing up all over the arm that was keeping her upright. Gilbert took a deep breath, thankful for his time in his apprenticeship and that he was no longer squeamish. He filed the incident away in the “things I’ll never tell Anne about” compartment of his mind as he wiped his arm off on her nightgown, knowing that it would probably be thrown out after the night was over anyways. 

“Someone fill up the tub, cool water. I believe she has sun poisoning, and we need to cool her down.” He said, keeping her upright in case she threw up again as Jerry began the task with a quick nod of his head. He tried to keep his eyes off of her, only taking quick glances every few minutes to see if she had woken up, but he knew he was fighting a losing battle. He nightgown wa still over her shoulders, exposing her in the same way she had been in his kitchen. Except this time, she did not have a chemise on, leaving her completely bare. Gilbert wanted to kick himself, this was certainly not the time to be fantasizing about her. 

“How could this have happened?” Marilla asked, her voice thick with worry, breaking him from his thoughts. Gilbert sighed, knowing he would have to tell the truth about at least part of the day. He just hoped Anne would forgive him for telling on her. 

“I’m sorry Marilla, I feel like I’m partly to blame in all this.” He said, sending an apologetic glance her way. “You see, after school ended today, some of our classmates, including Anne and myself, went to a swimming hole. Anne fell asleep in the sun, no one is for sure how long, but my guess is probably close to two hours with no shade to think of. I gave her a salve for her back, thinking the burns would go away, but I should have done a better job of assessing her before letting her go.” 

“But how could her back have burned like this? Why, it looks like she was only in her underthings!” Marilla said incredulously. Gilbert simply cast his eyes downward, face flushing as he vividly remembered just how she had looked at the swimming hole. 

“Frankly, I’m embarrassed to say this Ms. Cuthbert, but we  _ were _ all in our underthings.” he said with an awkward cough, not looking up as Marilla gasped at the scandal of it all. Gilbert chewed on his lip, not daring to look up until Jerry blessedly announced that the tub was full. He scooped Anne up again, slowly lowering her into the tub, quickly diverting his eyes as her white nightgown became practically sheer as she sank into the water, revealing the fact that she was not wearing anything underneath it. 

“Ms. Cuthbert, would you fetch a blanket, for modesty, please?” He asked, and both he and Jerry made a point of looking anywhere else as Marilla brought in a light gray blanket, draping it over Anne in the tub. 

Gilbert took a seat on the floor next to her, not willing to leave her side as Marilla went about cleaning up the small mess they had already made in the kitchen. That was how Matthew found them, taking off his hat and hanging it on the peg as he entered the kitchen. 

“Doctor is out of town on business, won’t be back for at least two days time.” He said grimly. “But I can go to Charlottetown as soon as possible, if it’s urgent.” 

Gilbert shook his head, glancing at Anne to make sure she hadn’t slipped under the water before standing up and shaking Matthew’s hand. “She’ll be okay, we’ve done all we can for the moment.” 

“Thank you, Gilbert.” He said sincerely. “We’re sorry for waking you up in the middle of the night, but we were real worried about our Anne. Didn’t know who else to turn to.” 

“You can always come to me, I’ll never turn anyone away.” He said, wishing he could add  _ especially Anne.  _

With Matthew home, Marilla went upstairs to clean Anne’s room, and Gilbert resumed his position next to the tub, resting his head against it as the adrenaline slowly ran out of his system. He hadn’t realized that he had dozed off until he heard coughing and gagging from the tub, and Jerry quickly saying, “Gilbert, she’s vomiting again-” 

“Roll her on her side, don’t let her choke, that could make this go from manageable to very bad if any of it gets into her lungs.” He said, reaching into the tub to get Anne on her side as Jerry held up a bucket to her face. Thankfully, she only coughed and gagged, nothing coming up, and the two men relaxed again. 

The three men stayed in the kitchen all night, watching over Anne. Jerry and Matthew had fallen asleep in chairs around the tub, and Gilbert could hear Marilla puttering about upstairs, getting things ready for when they inevitably had to transfer her back to her room. Gilbert was still awake though, sitting on the ground next to the tub, unable to do anything more than doze for fear of her vomiting again or slipping underneath the water. So he kept watch over her, occasionally dipping the rag that they had put on her forehead back into the water to get it cool again before setting it back on her head, wiping away the drops of water that trailed down her face. It was that gentle touch that caused her to stir, eyes opening slightly as she looked around in confusion.   
Gilbert quickly shushed her, sitting up on his knees and running a hand over her hair gently to soothe her. 

“G-Gilbert, w-what?” She said, her voice hoarse and slightly panicked as she looked at him with foggy eyes. 

“Shh, you’re going to be okay Anne-girl, everything’s going to be okay.” He whispered gently, continuing to stroke her hair even after her eyes slid shut and her head lolled to the side. 

He left Green Gables just after dawn, when Anne’s fever had broken and they decided to get her into bed so she could rest. Gilbert quickly gave Marilla instructions on how to care for her, and to send someone to him straight away if anything changed before making his leave. He was dead on his feet when he got back to his house, and was thankful no one was up yet as he climbed into bed and was asleep before his head hit the pillow. 

Later that afternoon he had thought about stating his intentions with her too, but with Marilla in the room and Anne still looking ill, he backed out at the last moment, instead telling her that he wanted to give her a check up to ensure she was well on her way to recovery. He was kicking himself the entire exam, frustrated with his cowardice. It was a poor time to bring up romance, he knew that, but that didn’t stop the frustration that came from having to wait longer than he already had to make Anne his. 

He resisted though, and bided his time. His heart had practically soared when she walked into the schoolhouse, cheeks still slightly pink from the sun, but overall much better than she had been the last time he saw her. He wanted to pull her aside right then and there to tell her everything, but ultimately was unable to when her friends surrounded her, shooting questions at her so rapidly that he could hardly get a word in. 

Then, he finally got his chance. 

And she said no.

Gilbert couldn’t wrap his head around the situation, he had been so sure his feelings were reciprocated. How could he have misinterpreted everything so poorly? She had looked like she had come head to head with a bear when he had asked her if she wanted to walk home, and Gilbert shouted in frustration as he stomped into his house, throwing his things down and stomping up to his room to think. 

What had he done wrong? Had he upset her somehow? Maybe she regretted what had happened in his kitchen… but did she? She had hinted at it when she had walked him to the door after his failed attempt to court her turned check-up, but in the moment she had made it seem like she had enjoyed the experience. 

He was confused, very confused. 

It was only one rejection though. Perhaps he had caught her in a bad moment, maybe there was some reason she had turned down his advances. He wouldn’t give up, not yet. Even if every deity was working against him, he would keep up his efforts until she either accepted them or told him to stop trying. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hoped you liked it :) Feel free to leave a comment, they make my day!


	9. Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gilbert keeps up his efforts in his pursuit of Anne. Anne seeks out advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I have no self control, here's another chapter. 
> 
> Also, shout out to sunshinedreamer1234 for offering to beta read for me! Hopefully the glaring errors from my late night binge writing will be a thing of the past now! 
> 
> Enough of my rambling, enjoy!

When Anne went to study group the next day, she had decided to just ignore Gilbert altogether. He was acting strange, and she wanted nothing to do with it. She wanted a normal summer with her friends, and he was getting in the way of that. Thankfully, she didn’t have to walk into the schoolhouse alone as Jane walked up the same time as she did, asking her a question about the exam that required a long explanation, which carried them through the coatroom and down the center of the room. Gilbert was already there, lingering in the back of the room reading a book, but Anne paid him no mind as she continued her conversation with Jane. 

“Hey, Anne,” He called, and she huffed, obviously having spoken too soon. She spun on her heel to find Gilbert was bent over, scooping something off of the ground and holding it out to her.

“This fell out of your book,” he said, and Anne raised an eyebrow at him as she examined the small scrap of paper. 

“That doesn’t look like anything of mine.” She said dismissively, but Gilbert didn’t relent, taking a small step towards her as he nodded. 

“Well, it fell out of your book, so…” He trailed off, and she rolled her eyes, snatching the paper from his hand. 

“Whatever.” She huffed, turning and marching to her seat. 

“What was that about?” Jane asked as she sat down on top of the table that Anne had just taken a seat at. Anne shook her head dismissing her friend’s comment. 

“Just Gilbert being stupid.” She said as she looked down at the scrap of paper he had given her. She hadn’t been lying when she said that she didn’t recognize it, but she unfolded it anyways, curious as to what it was. 

Her heart stopped as she read the words written in neat cursive, inhaling sharply as she quickly folded the paper back up, snapping her head up. 

“What?” Jane asked, looking intrigued by Anne’s reaction, and she shook her head, trying to act casual. 

“It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” She said, voice tight. As if she had sensed the drama brewing, Josie perched next to Jane, glancing at the paper. 

“Worry about what?” The blonde asked. 

“ _ Nothing,”  _ Anne said slowly. 

“Gilbert gave Anne a note and now she’s acting all funny.” Jane giggled, which only intrigued Josie more. 

“He didn’t give me a note, i-it fell out of my book. He just picked it up for me.” She said, going along with the lie Gilbert obviously told her to get her friends to leave her alone. They couldn’t know the contents of the letter, she would surely fall over dead if they did. Josie looked as if she saw straight through her story and shrugged. 

“Fine, then you won’t have any problem with me reading it.” She said, reaching for the paper. 

Anne panicked then, squeaking as she ducked away from Josie’s hand, quickly ripping the paper in half. Then, knowing that the message would still very much be readable even torn in two, Anne crumpled the paper up and shoved them in her mouth. 

Josie and Jane’s faces twisted in disgust as she did it, and Anne realized the moment she stuck it in her mouth that she would have to commit to the action and closed her eyes as she forced herself to chew and swallow the note. She opened her eyes after she had swallowed, coughing slightly from where the edges of the paper had irritated her throat. She looked sheepishly at her friends. 

“Anne,” Josie said slowly. “You make it really hard to not call you a freak sometimes.” 

“I-I’ll be right back.” She said, darting outside of the schoolhouse to get some air. She went to the creek, bending down and cupping her hands to take a sip of water from the stream. Her heart was racing, and she wasn’t sure if it was because of the note, or the idea of her friend’s getting their hands on it. Most likely both. Still, even when she closed her eyes the words that were carefully written on the small, yellowed scrap of paper were still seared into her mind. 

_ Gilbert Blythe has taken notice of Anne Shirley-Cuthbert.  _

__________________

Anne hardly made it through study group. How could she focus on learning the history of Prince Edward Island when her mind was constantly replaying the sequence of events that had occurred? She wanted to turn around and kick stupid Gilbert Blythe in the shin. Or maybe crack another slate over his head. Perhaps both. Yes, both would be good. First, a swift kick to the skin, and then the slate over his head while he was down. Maybe that would do the trick and knock some sense into him. 

Her mind was swimming with questions. Why hadn’t he simply put the note on the board? Why such a private declaration? Would she have even wanted him to make it public? (She answered her own question before she could even finish it-no, she very much would  _ not  _ want him making any declarations on the damned take notice board.) 

When Miss Stacy announced the end of the session, she could not have gathered her things quicker, bidding her friend’s farewell over her shoulder as she all but sprinted out of the schoolhouse. She didn’t dare look behind her as she marched off, fearing that Gilbert would follow her, and she was not ready for any sort of confrontation with him. 

Her mind was in a fog as her feet carried her to the one place she needed to be more than anywhere at the current moment, and she had to remind herself to knock on the front door rather than storming into Diana’s house like a bat out of hell. 

“Anne, is something the matter?” Diana asked when she came to the door, eyebrows knit together in concern as she took Anne’s hand in her own, pulling her into the house and up to her room. Only when they were in total privacy with the door shut did Anne do anything, promptly throwing herself face-first into Diana’s bed with a loud shout of frustration. 

“Please say something Anne, you’re worrying me.” Diana pleaded, and Anne took a deep breath as she rolled over on her back, throwing a hand over her face. 

“Oh Diana, I have been keeping a most terrible secret from you. I should have told you the moment it happened, but then I got sick and I was stuck in bed, and I was much too worried about Marilla hearing when you came to visit me and-” 

“Breathe!” Diana reminded her, the bed shifting as she sat next to her distressed friend. Anne did as she was instructed, taking one long, slow deep breath before sitting up and extending her pinky. 

“Diana, what I am about to tell you is a grave secret that you must never utter from your lips. Do you swear it?” She said solemnly, and Diana nodded, hooking her pinky into Anne’s. 

“I swear it.” 

With her promise made, Anne dove into everything that had been going on. She went all the way back to when Mary died, and how her heart had ached for Gilbert, and how the vulnerability of the moment made her feel soft inside. Then she talked about the swimming hole, and how Gilbert had squeezed her thighs under the water out of view from everyone (this drew a scandalized gasp from her friend, and Anne nearly laughed in her face. If she thought  _ that  _ was the most scandalous part of the story, then she was surely going to burst into flames when she heard the rest of the story.) And sure enough, when Anne told her about Gilbert and the salve, Diana’s eyes went comically wide and her face went as red as a cherry. “Anne, you’re kidding!” She gasped. Anne nodded, her cheeks going hot as she hung her head. She was ashamed to be telling her, not because it happened, but because she didn’t regret it at all. She felt like she should have felt shame, letting Gilbert touch her the way he did, but the only thing she had ever felt was that the universe had come together whenever he was close to her. It felt so…  _ right.  _ Like they were meant to bare themselves to each other, in mind, body, and soul. It was a very romantical notion. 

It’s the same way she felt when they had talked in the field the day they discovered that Mary was going to die, when Gilbert had admitted that he didn’t think he would be a good doctor. Looking back, she realized that even in the bleakness of the day, she had felt so warm and safe comforting him, and that she would give anything to do it again. 

“You can’t tell anyone, Diana.” She said gravely. “Nothing truly happened.” 

“But, how could it be nothing when it sounds so passionate? Perhaps intimacy can happen even without kissing.” Her friend suggested, which made Anne groan and throw herself backwards onto the bed again. 

“But I must tell you the most harrowing part of this tale.” She said as Diana laid back and turned her head so they could look at each other. Diana smiled and nodded in encouragement, as she hungrily devoured each and every detail Anne was providing her. 

“I’m listening.” 

“Well, this morning, Gilbert gave me a note.” Anne said. “A ‘take notice’ note.” 

As soon as the words slipped from her mouth she had to hurry to cover her ears as Diana squealed loudly, throwing her arms around her friend. “Oh Anne, that’s wonderful! What did you say? Let me see the note!” 

Anne laughed awkwardly as she carefully extracted herself from Diana’s grip, sitting up again. 

“It’s a funny story, actually…” She said, avoiding her friend’s eye as she picked an invisible piece of lint off of her dress. “I actually don't have the note anymore…” 

“Why?” Diana asked, sitting up. “What happened to it?” 

“I might have accidentally eaten it?” Anne said sheepishly, sparing a glance at the dark haired girl. 

Diana was looking at her as if she had grown two heads. “Begging your pardon?” 

Anne sighed. “Unfortunately, you heard that correctly. I read the note and panicked, and Josie tried to take it away from me, so I crumpled it up and ate it. I wanted for a bottomless pit to open up right then and there and swallow me whole, but it appears that the universe is not feeling particularly merciful today.” 

It seemed like Anne had stunned Diana speechless, and Anne groaned, pushing herself off of the bed to pace. “I suppose it doesn’t even matter now, there is no way Gilbert could still be interested in me after such a idiotic and freakish display. I couldn’t even bear to look at him throughout the study group, I have never been so mortified in my entire life!”   
“That’s not a fair assumption to make,” Diana countered, having found her words again. “I mean, you did smash a slate over his head and he was still smitten with you even after that. If anything, that might have been what drew you to him in the first place.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous, that was years ago.” Anne scoffed as she continued to pace. “There’s no way he has harboured affection for me that long.” 

Diana simply raised an eyebrow at her friend, but didn’t try and contradict her. She knew better than most that Anne would see only what she wanted to in a situation. 

“Besides, even if he did, I could not betray our dear and precious Ruby by taking the man she has loved for the better part of a decade. That would be the cruelest of fates, and I will not do it” Anne said with finality, as she stopped pacing and crossed her arms over her chest. 

Diana sighed, holding out her hand for Anne to take as she pulled her friend back to the bed to sit. “Listen, Anne. Gilbert doesn’t like Ruby, don’t you realize that? He likes  _ you _ , and you like him-” 

“No, I do not!” Anne said indignantly. 

“Then why are you here, pray tell, pacing restlessly back and forth over the idea of him being fond of you? If you didn’t like him, then why did you practically invite him to kiss you the other day? If you didn’t like him, why did you  _ actually eat _ his letter so that no one would know about it? Did you act this way when Charlie put a notice up for you?” Diana asked, the tiniest hint of frustration in her voice. 

“Well, no-” 

“Then, I think the fact of the matter is that you do like him, so if you’d please listen to me.” Diana said, eyes passionate and blazing. “You can no longer deny the fact that Gilbert has a crush on you. It seemed quite obvious after all of the touching, but now any doubt is gone after the note he gave you this morning. Are you following me?” 

Anne nodded simply, knowing better than to interrupt Diana during one of her tirades. She really could be scary when she had her mind set on something. 

“Now, Ruby might be disappointed to hear that, but do you know what would disappoint her more? Finding out years down the line that you gave up a chance at romance because you didn’t want to hurt her feelings. Gilbert does not like her, and he is not going to want her suddenly if you turn him down. It will only leave the two of you heartbroken.” 

Anne was silent for a few minutes after Diana finished her speech, and she was thankful that her friend didn’t try to push for her to respond until she was ready. Diana did bring up a lot of good points, and she came face to face with the truth for the first time. 

“I’m in love with Gilbert Blythe.” She said quietly, speaking the works into existence, practically falling over with the weight of what she had just said. 

She was in love with Gilbert. She was in love with his mind, how passionate he was about his studies and future. She loved that he was a good friend, not just to her, but to everyone. He had become brothers with a man that their community shunned and hated, and never once thought about turning his back on him even if it cost him his own reputation. He was kind, thoughtful, and stood up for justice in a world that was often more focused on doing what was comfortable. 

“I’m in love with Gilbert Blythe.” She repeated, louder this time, and Diana smiled widely at her. 

“Doesn’t it feel nice to say?” She teased, and Anne stood up. 

“Oh, Diana, I don’t know what to do.” She said. “I’ve acted like a complete fool, and even if I can recover from acting like a complete lunatic in front of him, I still cannot in good conscience allow his advances without Ruby knowing how he feels about her.” 

Diana nodded, understanding her friend’s concern. She thought for a moment, then held up a finger as an idea came to her mind. “I know! After Tilly’s tea party this weekend, you could walk home with Ruby. It’ll be the perfect time to explain the situation, and ask for her understanding.”   
“And blessing.” Anne added, and Diana nodded in agreement. Anne pondered the idea for a moment, it really was perfect, and that way she could ask to speak with Gilbert after church on Sunday to clear up the inevitable confusion she must have caused him. She could only imagine what must have been going through his mind after all of her craziness. 

When Anne left Diana’s house a little while later, she felt lighter than she had in months. She no longer had the heavy weight on her shoulders of what was going on with Gilbert, she no longer had to wonder what was going through his head- or what was going through hers. She had a sense of clarity that she had never experienced before. All that was left was to talk to Ruby, and pray her friend understood that her heart could not control the way she felt and give her blessing for her to court Gilbert. 

Even though that talk brought her some anxiety, she could not rid herself of the giddiness she felt at the realization that her very own tragical romance was beginning to blossom.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it! Chapter 10 is already complete (because again, I have no self control) so it should be out tomorrow whenever I decide to get up and post it, lol. Stay healthy, stay sane, and see y'all soon!


	10. Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A declaration is made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just gonna leave this here ;)

With her plan set in her mind, Anne decided that until she talked to Ruby, it would be best if she didn’t interact with Gilbert at all. Too much had already happened between the two of them, and Anne wanted to go into the conversation with Ruby having been as careful with her friend’s heart as possible. How terrible would it be to tell her that they were already courting, despite Anne knowing the extent of Ruby’s feelings for Gilbert? No, she would not do that to her friend. 

She was lucky, though, that they did not have study group the day after her realization, meaning she just had to get through study group and the  _ Avonlea Gazette  _ meeting on Friday without talking to Gilbert, and she’d be able to talk to Ruby on Saturday. It was perfect. 

Naturally, her plans never seem to quite go the way she wants them to. 

It had started out fine, Diana had walked with her to the schoolhouse, and sat in the back corner of the room while the group studied and joined them when they began working on the paper. Having her best friend beside her kept Gilbert from approaching her, even though he did give her a small smile when their eyes met when she walked in. She couldn’t help but smile back, heart fluttering. Had his eyes always been so beautiful, like two pools of the darkest, richest chocolate known to man? And in the same vein, had his chin always been so handsome? It fit his face perfectly, coming to a perfect point from his strong jawline. 

She realized she was staring and quickly walked away, leaving him with an amused grin on his face. 

That was the only incident throughout the afternoon, but Anne’s fatal mistake came when she decided to linger in the schoolhouse after they had finished for the day, talking with her friends about Tillie’s tea party the next day. She should have left straight away with Diana to avoid any unnecessary encounters, but then Tillie started talking about a new dress she had gotten and was going to wear the next day, and Anne could not resist hearing every detail of the new frock. At some point in the conversation, she realized that everyone else had left, and Anne felt a little more at ease seeing that Gilbert was gone. 

The girls got enveloped in conversation, and when Anne finally realized that the time had gotten away from them, and that she was at risk of being late for supper, she said goodbye to her friends and gathered her things, stepping out into the warm summer evening. 

“Anne,” Gilbert said, pushing himself off of the side of the schoolhouse where he had been leaning. 

“Gilbert,” She said, shocked that he had waited for her. She must have stood talking with her friends for half an hour, yet Gilbert had waited right outside the door the entire time. “What are you still doing here?” 

She knew the answer before she even asked it, but she played innocent as she clutched her books to her chest. 

“Well I was going to give you a note, but I was afraid you would eat it, so had to wait to tell you in person.” He said, a teasing look at his eyes. Anne blushed at the mention of her rash decision a few days prior, and she bit her lip, waiting for him to continue. “You see, Hazel burned herself on a pan this morning while cooking, and needs the salve you borrowed. Would you mind if I walked with you to fetch it?” 

The request seemed simple enough, and if Hazel was hurt, she very well couldn’t turn him town. Anne sighed. So much for her plan. 

“I suppose that would be alright.” She said, taking off walking towards her house with little preamble. She heard Gilbert chuckle behind her, jogging to catch up with her.   
She kept her gaze straight ahead as she walked, not initiating a conversation as Gilbert fell in step beside her. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and she wanted to scream. Oh, how unfair the universe was! How dare it dangle the object of her desires right in front of her, while he was still forbidden fruit? She wanted nothing more than to pour her heart out to him, to scream for all the world to hear that she loved him without an ounce of reservation. But she couldn’t do that, not for another two days. 

“Would you like me to carry your books for you?” Gilbert said after a few minutes of walking, and Anne shook her head fervently. 

“No, thank you.” She said, her voice tight. She kept her head down and pace quick, trying to keep one step ahead at all times. She thought she heard Gilbert sigh beside her, but she didn’t dare look up at him for fear that she would fall under his spell. She was so focused on not looking at him that she didn’t even notice that he had stopped walking until he called out her name, and she turned on her heel, surprised at how distant his voice sounded. He had stopped about six feet behind her, a crestfallen look on his otherwise handsome face. 

“Anne,” He repeated her name. “Have I done something to offend you? Because if I have, I beg that you let me know.” 

“N-no.” She said, taking a tentative step forward, ever so slightly closing the distance between the two of them. 

“Then why can you hardly stand to look at me? Have I been too forward? Too bold?” He asked, eyebrows knitting together with confusion. “Is it because of what happened in my house, because I should not have let that happened and I’m sorry if I-” 

“No!” Anne interrupted, and she shut her mouth quickly, realizing that she had practically yelled. 

“Then what?” He cried, dropping his books to the ground so he could run his hands through his hair, looking more distressed than he had in a very long time. “Please tell me, so I can fix whatever grievance you have against me.” 

“You like me!” Anne blurted, her emotions getting the better of her. Gilbert’s eyebrows shot up in surprise at her response, and she slapped her hands over her mouth in surprise. Gilbert glanced around, as if he thought someone would jump out and declare he was being pranked, but when nothing happened he took a small step towards her. 

“Yes,” He said slowly, his eyes locking with hers. “I do.” 

Even though she knew that he did, hearing him say it outloud made her heart soar. Oh, how she wanted for him to say it again and again. She didn’t allow herself the pleasure of replaying the moment too many times before she had to bring herself back to what was happening in the present moment. 

“B-but why? I don’t understand it!” She said. 

“Anne, how could you even ask a question like that? How could you not understand why?” Gilbert asked, taking two steps forward to close the distance between them. He practically pried her books out of her hands, setting them on the ground before taking her hands in his. They were so warm, practically engulfing her small, pale hands in his larger, rougher ones. 

“Well, I’m just… me.” She said dumbly, and Gilbert chuckled as if she had told some sort of joke without realizing it. He gave her hands a gentle squeeze. 

“You are the most vivacious, passionate, beautiful girl I’ve ever met.” He said, bringing her hands up to rest against his warm, solid chest. She looked up at him, wanting nothing more than to reach out and stroke the sharp line of his jaw. “And you care for people, and you want to love them, and understand them, and empathize with them. You see the world with different eyes. You don’t let someone’s skin, or gender, or station, or anything determine their value. You look at people’s spirits, their hearts and souls to determine if they’re worthy. There is so much to love about you, and if you’ll let me, I’d like to try and take the time to tell you why.” 

She was left breathless at his words, feeling faint at the way he had strung up the words so beautifully to give his declaration to her. She was glad that he was holding onto her as she looked into his eyes, her knees almost buckling at the sight. His eyes were the same as they had been the other day, burning and filled with desire. Desire and love, and her heart skipped a beat and her mouth went dry. She had dreamed for years of someone looking at her the way Gilbert Blythe was now. 

“I don’t have much to offer you.” She said quietly. “You could have any girl you wanted, why me?” 

Gilbert chuckled at her, gently pulling one of his hands loose so he could reach up and brush a stray piece of hair out of her eyes, gingerly tucking it behind her ear. His hand didn’t move away though, instead it settled on the back of her neck, drawing her in slightly the way he had when she was in his kitchen what seemed like a lifetime ago. 

“Because,” He murmured, voice low as his breath fanned against her face. “There’s no one else quite like you, Anne Shirley.”

With that, the tension between them finally snapped and his lips descended on hers, and he kissed her firmly, pulling all of the oxygen from her lungs. Anne could hardly believe what was happening, and squeezed the hand that was holding hers tightly as her lips moved against his, fitting together like the pieces of a puzzle. Her other hand moved on its own volition up to his neck, drawing him in closer to her. 

She wanted the moment to last forever, to spend the rest of her days wrapped up in Gilbert Blythe, but when the image of Ruby Gillis popped into her head, it was as if she had been doused with freezing cold water. She quickly pushed Gilbert away, leaving him looking a little stunned as she began to panic. 

“That shouldn’t have happened.” She said, watching as Gilbert’s face dropped. Her heart cracked a little bit, and she held her hands up, trying to recover from the statement. “No! I’m glad that it happened, very, very glad!” She assured him, watching as a dozen different emotions crossed his face. Anne groaned, pacing back and forth on the tiny trail. 

“Ruby Gillis has loved you since she was ten years old, did you know that?” She said suddenly as she stopped pacing and rounded on him, putting her hands on her hips. 

Gilbert’s face twisted in confusion, once again looking around as if he was being pranked. “Excuse me?” 

“Ruby Gillis!” Anne exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. “She loves you, and I vowed to stay away from you until I had talked to her because I would rather die than betray my friend by entering into any sort of romance with the boy she loves, but now I have ruined it all! I am the most wretched of friends!” 

Fat, hot tears rolled down her face as she finished her rant, and she hastily wiped them away, even though her efforts were futile as she continued to cry into her hands. She had let the heat of the moment get the better of her, and now she had broken her own word. She was despicable, absolutely despicable. She might as well have spat in Ruby’s face, she imagined that that would hurt her less than the sin she had just committed against their friendship. 

She didn’t try to pull away as warm arms wrapped around her, rocking her slightly as a hand began stroking her head. 

“Shhh, Anne-girl,” Gilbert whispered soothingly against her hair, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. “It’s alright, take a deep breath. It’s going to be okay.” 

“Ruby’s going to hate me!” She cried, voice muffled by his chest. 

“Ruby doesn’t hate anyone, she’s not capable of it.” Gilbert said gently. “And she certainly won’t hate you.” 

“You don’t know that for sure.” Anne said, gently pulling out of his arms. 

Gilbert shrugged, keeping a light grip on her forearm as she broke their embrace, as if he needed to continue touching her now that they had given into their desires. “You’re right, I don’t know for sure. But I do know that if you go to her with the same level of remorse you’re showing right now, that she’ll know that you had no cruel intentions.” He said, gently brushing a tear from her cheek with his thumb. 

“I suppose you’re right, can’t change the past.” She said after a few minutes, taking deep breaths to gain her composure, wiping the last traces of tears from her cheeks. Gilbert laughed, giving him a flirtatious grin. 

“And I surely don’t want to.” He said with a wink, making Anne blush. “Now, let’s get you home, I’m sure Matthew and Marilla are expecting you.” 

The rest of the walk home passed in a peaceful silence, the backs of their hands brushing every so often as they walked. Once or twice, Gilbert would wrap a finger or two around hers, giving them a small squeeze before letting go, the touch so brief it was as if it never happened. He walked her all the way up to the door, and they stopped and turned to each other, small, knowing smiles playing on their lips. 

“Would you like to come in while I fetch the salve for Hazel?” Anne asked, and Gilbert raised an eyebrow at her. 

“The salve?” He asked, and Anne rolled her eyes. 

“The salve you needed for Hazel because she burned herself baking this morning?” She reminded him, and realization dawned on his features. 

“Oh, that.” He said, reaching up to scratch at the back of his neck, his cheeks tinged pink. “That might have been a small lie so that you would agree to let me walk with you.” 

Anne’s jaw dropped at his confession, and she swatted his chest. “What nerve!” She laughed. He joined her laughing, holding his hands up. 

“I’m not sorry.” He said playfully, and Anne rolled her eyes at how unbelievably charming he could be.   
“I’m talking to Ruby tomorrow, do you think you can keep this a secret for a day? Just until I’ve gotten Ruby’s blessing.” She asked, and Gilbert nodded. 

“It will be the greatest struggle of my short life, but I’m sure I’ll manage.” He said, taking her hand in his to squeeze her fingers. “I’ll see you on Sunday.” 

“See you Sunday.” She said, squeezing back gently before letting go and allowing him to turn and take his leave. She practically floated into the house, practically in a daze as Marilla asked where she had been. 

Anne just giggled as she began setting the table. 

“And was that Gilbert Blythe who was just here?” She asked, and Anne nodded, humming a most romantical tune to herself. “Well, what did he need?” 

“Oh, nothing.” Anne said dreamily as she turned to face her guardian. “Just walking me home.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it happened, they kissed! Woo hoo! Thanks for reading!


	11. Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne struggles with guilt, Diana spills the tea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest I'm not totally happy with this chapter, it was pretty hard to write (and also written while I was various degrees of wine drunk) but I still think its going to get us where we need to go.

She had practically floated through dinner, getting scolded by Marilla more than once for being careless and making a mess. 

“Can you fault me for being in such a dreamy state, Marilla?” She asked with a wistful sigh, mopping up the gravy she had accidentally spilled on the table after missing her pile of potatoes. 

“You can be dreamy as much as you’d like without wasting food.” Marilla huffed, giving her a pointed look. Anne had just giggled, drawing little hearts in her potatoes (which earned her another comment about playing with her food.) 

Her feelings of bliss were short-lived, and as Anne settled into bed that night, her mind started wandering- a very dangerous thing for her. 

At first, they were innocent thoughts, replaying Gilbert’s declaration over and over in her head as she snuggled into her pillow, hiding her smile in the fabric. Then she thought about the way he had kissed her and plucked her first kiss from her lips. She hoped that he would do it again soon. 

After she told Ruby. 

Her thoughts started to spiral then, thinking about the conversation that she was going to have the next day. It was practically a given that Ruby was going to cry, there was no scenario where she didn’t. She was gentle, like new lace that you hardly wanted to touch for fear of it falling apart under your fingertips. But how did she deliver the news in such a way that lessened the blow? Obviously she was not going to come straight out with the details, she would start gently. After many trials in her head, all of which ended in heartbreak for all, Anne finally decided upon the perfect speech to give to her friend. 

_ Ruby, I would like to talk with you about something.  _

_ You see, there has been a certain… development in my life, in a romantic sense. You see a boy has taken notice of me, and I have taken notice of him.  _

_ Your friendship is dear to me, and I think of you as a very gentle, kind spirit. I can not bear the thought of hurting you in any way, which is why I am asking for grace and understanding from you.  _

_ It’s Gilbert.  _

_ Yes, Gilbert Blythe.  _

_ He has recently expressed his interest in courting me, and with your blessing, I would like to reciprocate these feelings.  _

(That was when Ruby would start to cry)

_ I know this news must bring you the most unimaginable pain, and I am truly sorry for taking part in it. If you would like it, I will walk away and tell Gilbert Blythe that he is not the man for me.  _

(This is the part where Anne actually started crying, leaving her pillow damp from her tears at the thought of giving up Gilbert.) 

_ Oh, what? You’d never want me to do that? Oh, my dear Ruby, thank you for understanding, even though your own heart is in pieces. Oh, how I love you and your tender soul! Thank you for your blessing, my dear sweet friend!  _

While it had played out perfectly in her head, that was not how the conversation went. 

Anne had hardly slept the night before, staying awake until the wee hours of the morning, trying to find the perfect combination of words for her talk with Ruby. She wasn’t sure what time she fell asleep, but the precious few hours she got were filled with tossing, turning, and no real rest. She was an anxious mess as she ate breakfast and did her chores, practically dead on her feet as she finally began to get ready for Tillie’s afternoon tea. 

She hardly said a word as she settled in the parlor with her friends, nibbling half-heartedly at the cakes and treats that had been set out for them as the girls tittered and gossiped around her. Anxiety had pooled in her chest, a heavy weight that was on the verge of suffocating her. She couldn’t even look up from her lap out of fear of looking at Ruby and losing her cool completely.

It turned out that she didn’t have to look at Ruby, because the careful facade she had built around herself cracked when Tillie spoke up. “Are you alright, Anne? You haven’t said a word this entire time.” 

It was like her words were the catalyst for an explosion, because before she could even think to stop herself, Anne had stood up and slapped her hands on the table in a panic. 

“Gilbert Blythe kissed me.” 

The table went deathly silent around her, the only sound being teacups and china being dropped onto the table. Anne bit her lip painfully once she realized what she had said, wishing that she could pluck her words out of the air and shove them back into her mouth. She snapped her head up to look at Ruby, who was sitting opposite her. Anne’s heart cracked as she looked her friend in the eye, devastation already flooding her gaze. Everyone else had ceased what they were doing, staring pale-faced and wide-eyed, waiting for one of the two to react. 

“G-Gilbert?” Ruby squeaked, her eyes brimming with tears. 

“Ruby, I”m so sorry, that is not at all how I meant to-” Anne said, regret dripping from every word as the blonde got up and ran out. The other girls all rushed to stand up, intent on chasing her out, but Anne stepped in front of them, holding her arms out so they couldn’t pass. 

“Please, let me try and fix this.” She pleaded, and not even Josie could come up with anything to say. With that, Anne chased Ruby out of the house, looking around frantically and feeling her heart fall when she was nowhere to be found. She closed her eyes, wanting to kick herself for how stupid she had been. How could she let herself do that? 

A small whimper pulled her out of her self-deprecation, and she followed the sound around the corner of the house where Ruby was hiding behind a shrub, sitting on the ground in the dirt. Her dress was going to be absolutely filthy when she got up, and that showed just how distraught Ruby was, she didn’t seem to care at all that her dress would surely be ruined. Her face was already streaked with tears, red and splotchy as her lower lip trembled pitifully. 

“Go away!” She cried when she saw Anne approach her, burying her face in her hands. 

“Ruby, please let me try and explain myself. If after I have spoken my peace, you still want me to leave and never see my face again, then I’ll go.” Anne pleaded and counted it as a victory when Ruby didn’t respond, just keeping her head hung as she allowed her to speak. 

“I am so sorry.” She started. “Oh, how I wish I could turn back time and have none of it happen. I promise, it was never my intention to hurt you. In fact, I spent a lot of time convincing myself that I didn’t reciprocate his feelings because I knew how you feel about him. And the moment I knew for certain that he liked me, I knew I would talk to you first. This kiss-” (Ruby whimpered when she said this) “was never supposed to happen. In fact, I was going to avoid Gilbert at all costs in order to come to you knowing that I had taken every precaution to put your heart first. I was going to tell you everything this afternoon, but I was so wrecked with guilt that I hardly slept, and the words just slipped out. I wish I would have waited to tell you alone, and words can not properly express how much my heart is aching for you right now. I am so, so sorry, Ruby, a-and if you truly can not forgive me and do not want me to be with him then I will go right now and tell him that nothing can happen between us.” 

Ruby was silent for a long while after she finished talking, and the longer she was silent, the worse Anne felt. Her stomach was churning, her nerves twisting her insides and making her dizzyingly nauseous. Her heart was pounding uncomfortably fast, and she felt like she was about to crawl out of her skin as she waited for her friend to reply. What if Ruby told her she didn’t want her to be with Gilbert? She would try and respect her friend’s wishes, but it would come at the steep price of her own heart. Could she truly go to Gilbert, after everything that had happened, and tell him that they couldn’t be together? Would he even understand her reasonings if she did? As traitorous of a thought as it was- was it even fair for Ruby to be the one holding the future of her relationship in her hands? The more she thought and questioned, the worse she felt. 

For once in her life, Anne wasn’t trying to be dramatic or theatrical, but she was certain that there was no one else for her but Gilbert. If she turned him down, she would never want to love another. How could anyone else on earth look at her the way he did? How could anyone else make her feel like she was going to combust with the most innocent of touches and looks? She would turn down kings, dignitaries, and all of the riches in the world if it meant she could have her one and only love. 

Soon enough, both girls were sitting in the dirt, quietly weeping over the thought that they wouldn’t be able to love Gilbert Blythe. 

_________________

“They’ve been gone for over an hour, we have to go find them.” Josie said bossily, crossing her arms over her chest and giving the others a look that practically begged them to challenge her. 

“I agree with Josie,” Tillie said carefully. “What if Ruby needs backup?”  
“Excuse me? No, that’s a terrible idea.” Diana rebuffed, taking a small sip from her tea. “And why does Ruby need backup? Do you really think Anne is going to hurt her or something of the sort?” 

Tillie shrugged, idly picking at her nails. Diana wanted to scream. Omission was practically confirmation. 

“Like there’s anything Anne could say that would make this better.” Josie scoffed. Diana fought the urge to roll her eyes. While Josie had definitely gotten better with time and maturity, she could still be a total brat sometimes, and Diana bit her tongue to keep herself from saying as much. 

“But she’s doing her best! Sure, she did not handle the situation with the grace and tact she could have, but she’s trying to make it right now!” Diana said, becoming increasingly frustrated with her friends. 

“There shouldn’t be anything to make right, Ruby has dibs.” Josie shot back. 

“Oh, right, because men are like cattle, to be given to the highest bidder. No, wait. That’s how women are treated around here.” Diana said, sending a sharp glare towards Josie. “And if you’d like to go to Gilbert now and tell him that he made the wrong choice, and that he needs to pursue Ruby instead because she has dibs on him, be my guest. But Gilbert has only had eyes for Anne and Anne alone since the day he met her, and if you haven’t noticed that, then I recommend you take a trip to the oculist.” 

“Alright, enough!” Jane said, standing up to stop the brewing argument. “Fighting isn’t going to solve this.” 

Diana took a deep breath, struggling to compose herself as Jane sat back down and took a bite out of her cake. She really did love her friends, but sometimes their pettiness astounded her. It was certainly clear that their loyalty did not lie with Anne in this scenario. She took a long sip of her tea, gathering her thoughts as she set out to diffuse the situation. 

“None of us know the full story. Anne was always planning on telling Ruby before anything happened between them, we just need to give her-” 

“Wait, Diana, did you know about this?” Jane interrupted, raising an eyebrow. Diana bit her lip. Drat, she had not meant to reveal herself so quickly. Everyone was looking at her expectantly, and Diana took a deep breath to collect herself, straightening her posture before answering. 

“Well, yes and no.” She said slowly. “Gilbert made his feelings known earlier this week, and that was the first Anne told me about this. I suspect she’s had feelings for him for a while now, just as Gilbert has been sweet on Anne for years. But I didn’t know that he had kissed her, only that he had given her the note.” 

“What note?” Jane asked, and Diana nearly swore. 

“You mean the one she ate?” Josie asked, raising an eyebrow. Diana closed her eyes, quickly praying that Anne would forgive her for accidentally spilling all of her secrets. Without opening her eyes, she nodded. 

“Yes, the very same.” She confirmed. 

“I knew it!” Jane exclaimed, jabbing a finger in Josie’s chest. “Didn’t I tell you that something funny was going on?” 

“Nothing has been going on!” Diana insisted. 

“So kissing is nothing?” Josie said, raising an eyebrow. 

“It isn’t, but I assure you that wasn’t part of Anne’s plan. Put yourself into Anne’s shoes for a moment, if you can. We are all aware that Anne did not have an easy life before coming to Avonlea, and all she wanted was kindred spirits to be friends with. And then when she got here she was almost immediately singled out for where she came from, and told in no uncertain terms to stay away from a boy that, at the time, she had done nothing but innocently walked with.” Diana said, watching as the other girl’s faces fell slightly in shame. 

“Then, for years Anne has had to tiptoe around Gilbert, denying herself her own feelings, because she was so beside herself with worry about what Ruby- and all of you, by extension, would think of her if anyone even suspected that she was trying to take him from Ruby. She didn’t even admit to  _ herself  _ that she had feelings for him until the day he gave her the note, because since the moment she came to Avonlea she has had to make the choice of having friends, or love. Isn’t it terrible that while all of us have been able to talk about beaus and boys posting notices about us, Anne has been hiding away all of her feelings out of fear of us hating her, because of Ruby’s childhood crush that we all knew was unrequited, even before Gilbert declared his feelings for Anne? What does that say about us as friends?” 

Tillie, Josie, and Jane all sat in a shameful silence for a while, thinking about everything Diana had just said. Diana simply went about her business, sipping her tea as her friend’s pondering their own actions. They were all dreadfully unfair to her sometimes, even Diana was guilty of it. There were so many times over the years that she could have spoken out against the others in Anne’s defense, but was far too scared of being rejected herself to say anything. 

“Oh, we’re the most terrible friends!” Tillie said after a while, distress written all over her face. Diana reached out and patted her hand gently, trying to soothe her. 

“I’d say insensitive is a better word for it.” Jane said with a sigh, putting her chin in her hand. “She couldn’t even enjoy her first kiss because of us.” 

“We need to apologize.” Josie said, voice barely a whisper as she kept her head hung, surprising Diana greatly. It wasn’t like her to admit that she was wrong, especially when it came to Anne. Maybe their impending adulthood was doing something good for them. 

“But, how?” Tillie asked.    


There were so many answers to that question, Diana knew. And she wasn’t quite sure which one was the right one, or if one even existed. How does one apologize for being so neglectful of a friend’s feelings for years? 

Unfortunately, the girls did not have time to ponder the idea before they heard the front door open and closed. All four heads snapped to the threshold of the parlor, waiting with bated breath as footsteps grew nearer and nearer. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I hoped you liked it! Let me know what you think, and thanks for reading! 
> 
> Also, don't be alarmed if the next update takes a day or two, I'm visiting my family (just immediate family, who have all been practicing social distancing) for the weekend, so it remains to be seen how much I'll be able to write. I'm going to try and keep my regular schedule, but we'll see. Either way, see you next time!


	12. Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bash and Gilbert talk and things don't go the way Anne wants them too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo hoo! Update time! Thank you so much for y'alls patience with me as I visited family. I wanted to try and get a chapter out yesterday, but the second I got home on Friday I was set to work on a home improvement project (because somehow in the two weeks since I had last been home my mom decided that she was going to completely redo our living room lol) and so I didn't get a chance to finish this until I got back today. 
> 
> Anyways, happy Easter to those who celebrate it, and I hope you enjoy the new chapter!

“So are you going to tell me what’s got you floating around here, acting like a moke, or am I going to have to start guessing?” Bash asked, raising an eyebrow at his brother as they ate breakfast. Gilbert had not been able to wipe a grin off of his face since he had gotten home the day before, and he had kept frustratingly silent about the whole thing. Bash had not said anything about it up until that point, waiting to see if Gilbert would come to him on his own, but unsurprisingly, he hadn’t. Which only left him to do the next best thing, pester him relentlessly until he confessed. 

Gilbert simply took a bite of toast, still smiling all the while. 

“Alright, guessing it is, then.” Bash said, with a shrug as he took a sip of his coffee. 

“Leave Mr. Blythe alone while he’s eating his breakfast.” Hazel scolded from the stove, not even looking over her shoulder. Bash rolled his eyes, motioning a mouth blathering on with his hand. “And you best watch yourself, boy.”   
“How did you even know I was doing anything?” Bash said incredulously as Gilbert laughed at him. 

“A mother always knows when her son needs a good whack on the head,” Hazel said, finally looking over her shoulder to give him a pointed look. Choosing to ignore his mother and her warning, Bash leaned back in his chair, sipping his coffee as he raised an eyebrow at Gilbert. Gilbert raised an eyebrow back, almost as if he was daring him to say something. 

“It’s something to do with Anne, isn’t it?” He questioned after a moment, watching carefully as Gilbert’s eyes brightened just a little at the girl’s name. “Ah, so it is.” 

“I didn’t say anything,” Gilbert said, face slipping into panic for half a second before regaining his composure as he leaned back in his chair to mirror Bash, folding his arms over his chest. 

“You didn’t have to, you got the stupid lovey look in your eye when I said her name.” He retorted. Gilbert flushed, hiding his blush as he ducked his head and set about eating his food. 

Bash would have continued his pestering, had it not been for the cuff on the back of the head he had received from his mother, effectively shutting him up as she turned back the stove, muttering about him keeping to his own business. 

Later that afternoon, away from the prying eyes (and quick hands) of his mother, Bash pressed the issue. 

“So,” he started as he and Gilbert worked on repairing farm equipment in the barn. “Is it more scandalous or less scandalous than what I walked into last week?” 

“Bash!” Gilbert exclaimed, throwing a cloth at him. Bash laughed as he caught it in midair, tossing it back towards Gilbert’s head. 

“What, can you blame me for being curious?” 

“I thought we weren’t talking about that anymore.” Gilbert huffed, hyper-focusing on his work to avoid Bash’s questioning. “And wouldn’t you lose the deniability you so desperately asked for if I were to tell you that it was scandalous?” 

The older man thought for a moment, considering his words as Gilbert continued working. 

“Fine, don’t tell me.” He finally said with a shrug. “She probably just ate your damn love letter again.” 

Gilbert smiled, ducking his head so that Bash wouldn’t see. He had gotten a good kick out of that story when Gilbert had come home after the study group, quietly sitting down at the table. 

(“Bash, what does it mean when you give a girl a love letter and she eats it?” “...Excuse me?”)   
It had taken Bash over ten minutes to calm down after Gilbert explained the story, laughing so hard tears were streaming down his face at his friend’s plight. He was sure to never hear the end of it, and Gilbert was determined to not let Anne forget the incident either. “Not quite, there was no consumption of letters this time,” Gilbert responded. 

“Now we’re getting somewhere.” Bash chuckled, satisfied that Gilbert had taken the bait. “Will you at least promise me you’re doing things properly?”

  
Gilbert had to think for a moment, carefully crafting his response. Truthfully, things were already more complicated than he had hoped they would be. He should have known that it wasn’t going to be an easy path- he had liked her for years, and getting his head bashed in only hours after meeting her should have clued him in on the troubles he would experience trying to woo her. Still, he liked to think he was doing things properly. Besides the incident in his kitchen… and being maybe a little too forward at the swimming hole… and kissing her the first time he walked her home… Alright, on second thought, maybe he wasn’t doing as good of a job as he should have been. 

“I’m trying.” He answered honestly, finally giving up the pretense of working to talk with Bash. “I’ve made my feelings and intentions clear, but things are still… complicated.” 

Bash hummed, taking in Gilbert’s slumped shoulders and defeated facial expression. “How so?” 

“Well, I didn’t realize when I talked to her, that it wasn’t just my feelings and her feelings that I had to account for.” He said vaguely, and taking in Bash’s confused expression, he sighed and continued. “One of Anne’s friends has liked me for years. It was quite obvious, but I always had so much going on with dad, and then Avonlea to work, so I never felt the need to call any attention to it because I didn’t reciprocate those feelings. And now…” 

“Now she’s still carrying a torch for you, and Anne doesn’t want to hurt her friend.” Bash finished for him, and Gilbert nodded in confirmation. Bash chuckled. “Sounds like Anne, always caring so much about others. So, what are you going to do about it?” 

“Well, Anne and I came to an understanding when I walked her home yesterday, but she said that until she talks to Ruby, her friend, that nothing can truly happen between the two of us.” 

“Seems like it’s a bit too late for that.” Bash teased, referencing the obvious tension between the two of them. Gilbert threw the cloth at him again.   
“You know what I mean.” He groaned. “Anyways, Anne should be talking with Ruby soon, I just hope it goes alright and that she isn’t too cross with her. I fear I may have to go talk with her to set the record straight if Anne can’t get through to her.” 

Bash just smiled bittersweetly. He had not had the opportunities for young, silly, adolescent love the way Gilbert did, and while he wished he had, he was thankful that Gilbert got the opportunities he never did. It also made him miss his Mary, and her sweet, radiant self. She would know just what to do in this situation. She always knew just what to say to make everything better. Pushing the emotion away, Bash leaned over and pat Gilbert on the shoulder. 

“Just trust your girl, Blythe.” He said. “I’m sure she’ll make everything right.” 

__________________

Little did the two men know that on the other side of town, Anne was struggling to do just that. 

“Please,” Anne whispered after both she and Ruby had ceased their crying, and instead were still sitting in the dirt, faces hidden in their knees. Her voice was raw from the crying, making her sound more pitiful than she thought it had a right to be. “Ruby, say something.”   
“What would you like me to say, Anne?” Ruby said, voice sharper than Anne thought was possible for the usually bubbly blonde, yet still holding the trademark squeakiness that would never fully go away. “I’ve just learned that the boy I’ve loved for years will never love me back, excuse me for being a little bit speechless.” 

Anne sighed, pulling her knees tighter against her body. She didn’t want to think of the fit Marilla was going to have when she got home. She hoped that she would be able to sneak in and change before her guardian had a chance to look at her, and if she could do that, maybe she could sneak downstairs and wash her dress and stockings after Marilla had gone to bed. 

“Just tell me what you’d like me to do? Do you want me to go tell Gilbert that I can’t be with him? What do you want, Ruby, and I will do it.” Anne said sincerely, lifting her head from her knees for the first time to plead with her. Ruby didn’t look at her, her face resting on her chin, facing the other direction. 

A beat. A pause. Then, “I think I’d like for you to leave now.” 

Anne’s heart hurt fiercely as she stood up, obeying her friend’s wishes. She didn’t say anything else, brushing the damp earth off of her backside as she stood as she quickly walked away. Her hat was still inside of Tillie’s, but she didn’t dare go back in and grab it. She could hardly face her friends at that moment, and she didn’t want to think about what they had to say to her. She had ruined everything, and even though she thought she had no more tears to cry, tears began rolling down her cheeks as she set off towards her house.   
What was she going to do? Ruby couldn’t even look at her, her friends were going to take Ruby’s side at the best, and completely ostracize her at the worst. She had destined herself to a life of loneliness and isolation, all for falling for the wrong boy. She laughed bitterly to herself as she wiped the tears from her cheeks with more force than necessary. She might as well still be in the asylum, at least then she would have never known the taste of the friendship that she had gotten that was so cruelly going to be torn away from her. She was foolish for truly believing that she would ever have nice things. 

Marilla and Matthew were both in the kitchen when she got home, Matthew eating a sandwich as Marilla worked on an embroidery project. They looked up when she walked in, which was really more stomping than anything. 

“My goodness, what happened to you, Anne? You’re filthy!” Marilla said as Anne marched through the kitchen. She didn’t respond, too busy trying (and failing) to hold herself together until she could get up to her room and cry again. “Answer me, Anne!” 

“Leave me alone!” She screamed as she stormed up the steps, her voice cracking on the last word a sob traitorously left her lips. She all but ran to her room after that, slamming the door behind her and pushing her desk in front of it so no one could push their way in. After locking herself in, she threw herself onto her bed, letting her sobs begin in earnest. 

Everything had gone so wrong! She had ruined everything. How could she even dare show her face in Avonlea again? Perhaps she could write to Aunt Josephine, she would take mercy on her and understand her plight. She would surely offer Anne refuge in her house, and she would live out her days as a spinster with her and Cole. It wasn’t the life she wanted, but it was the only solution she could see. 

The doorknob twisting and being stopped by her desk pulled her from her plotting, followed by the frustrated groan of Marilla. 

“Anne Shirley-Cuthbert, open this door this instant!” She yelled through the door. 

“No! Leave me here to rot away in my misery!” Anne screamed, voice muffled by her pillow. They would have to break the door down if they truly wanted to get in. She was bound and determined to stay in her bed until her death or the rapture, whichever came first. She continued to cry as Matthew and Marilla spoke outside of her door, their voices low and their words indecipherable.   
She wasn’t sure how much time passed as she laid on her bed, weeping into her pillow. She couldn’t even keep track of the emotions that were coursing through her. Guilt, sorrow, anger, jealousy, bitterness. As soon as she was able to put the name to one, it was gone and another had taken its place. Her head was practically pounding when a soft knock came to her door. 

“Go away.” She said softly, all of the fight having had left her body. She was exhausted. Was this what love entailed? Because if it was, then it was much too overrated, and she would like to have a word with all of the great poets who boasted about love being sweet and easy. Because this was a dreadful, awful thing.

“Anne, please open up,” Diana said through the door, her voice gentle and pleading. “It’s me and the girls, we’d like to talk with you.”   
She laughed bitterly. She wasn’t in the mood to be snarked at by her friends. She could imagine them standing in front of her door, stormy expressions on their faces as they huddled around Ruby, her face still stained with tears. They were probably itching to tell her how terrible she was, and she would have to agree with them. Anne sighed, sitting up in bed and wiping her cheeks. Well, if her friends were going to wash their hands of her, she might as well get it over with. 

She slowly got out of bed, noticing that the sun had started its descent in the sky, bathing her whole room in a warm glow. It was the kind of sunset that she would write romantical stories about if she were feeling the slightest bit romantical at the moment. Ignoring the beauty of the sunset, Anne quickly moved her desk back to its original position and threw herself back on her bed, putting her back to the door without saying another word. 

The door creaked open a moment later, and she shut her eyes tightly, trying to will away the tears as the quiet sound of shuffling feet met her ears, then the door closing, and then silence. 

“If you’re here to tell me you don’t want to be my friend anymore, then just do it and leave me. I wish all of you every happiness.” She said, her words coming out in almost a whimper. She heard a sniffle behind her, which she assumed was Ruby, but then another small cry that wasn’t Ruby’s. (Because when someone cries as much as Ruby does, the sound becomes quite recognizable.) Her curiosity piqued, Anne slowly rolled over to survey the room, and to her surprise, all of her friends stood by her bed, bouquets of wildflowers clutched in their hands. To her even greater surprise, all of their faces were splotchy and red, evidence that they had been crying. 

“Oh Anne,” Diana started, her lower lip trembling. “Words can not fully grasp the sorrow that we feel for the pain we have caused you.” 

With that, all of the girls practically collapsed on top of her, wrapping their arms around her nearly to the point of suffocation. Their words blended together in a cacophony of crying and apologizing, and Anne only heard snippets from each of them as they talked over each other. 

“I’ve made you feel so small, and you always were a good friend no matter what-” Josie. 

“I’m sorry I never stood up for you the way I should have-” Diana. 

“I only ever thought of myself and my feelings, I had no idea-” Ruby. 

“I should have said something, I was always too scared to speak up-” Tillie.

“I stood up for Ruby, and never for you-” Jane. 

“I’m so sorry.” They all finished, sniffling and wiping their eyes. 

After their flood of apologies, they all stepped back, allowing Anne to sit up and look at all of them. Ruby cleared her throat, wringing her hands as she hung her head.

“Gilbert Blythe is just a boy. A handsome, kind, dreamy boy, but just a boy.” She started, her lower lip trembling. “But you, Anne, are the best of women and friends. I would give up a thousand Gilberts if it meant I get to keep one Anne Shirley as a friend.” 

With her statement finished, Ruby held out her bouquet (which was now a little squished from their hug pile) and Anne gingerly reached out and took it, admiring the blossoms. She took a deep breath as she stood up and looked at Ruby, holding out her hand for the blonde to take. 

She tried to say something, she really did, but the relief that washed over her when Ruby took her hand and squeezed it was too much, too overwhelming, and she began to cry for what seemed to be the thousandth time that day. Her friends engulfed her in another hug, squeezing her tightly as they repeated their apologies. 

“We have been terrible friends, Anne,” Tille said as they all pulled away again. “Is there any way you could forgive us?” 

Anne chuckled, wiping away her tears (which at this point seemed like a fruitless endeavor), looking around at her friends. There would probably be more conversations later, more reconciliations over the hurt that had been caused, but for now, with the flowers and the tears and the smiles, she knew she had all she needed. 

“Of course,” Anne said sincerely. “My forgiveness is abundantly and freely given to all of you.” 

And she meant it, she really, truly meant it. Because even with the struggles they had, and the times they wanted to rip one another’s hair out, she knew that her friends would always make things right, and she would not give them up for the world. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it! Now that all of the drama is over (for now) we'll be seeing Anne and Gilbert finding their footing with their newfound relationship next chapter, so stay tuned for that! Feel free to leave a comment letting me know what you think. Stay healthy, stay sane, and I'll see y'all next time! :)


	13. Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne explains herself to Matthew and Marilla, and Sunday morning brings lots of laughter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A concept: Me, writing this fic instead of doing school work? It's more likely than you think. My professors will understand, I'm sure lol. Anyways, here's chapter 13, I hope you like it! 
> 
> Shoutout to the wonderful sunshinedreamer1234 for beta reading!

Dinner was an interesting affair that night at Green Gables. Anne had finally emerged from her room when Marilla had called her for supper, bidding her friends goodbye by blowing kisses with promises to see them all in the morning from the porch. When she walked back into the kitchen and began setting the table, neither Matthew nor Marilla said anything to her but did exchange careful glances at each other to try and gauge the situation. They weren’t sure what to expect after the events of the afternoon. While Anne could be emotional, she had never barricaded herself in her room, and her cries could be heard all over the house. Whatever had happened, it was serious, and the siblings decided that whatever had happened, Anne would talk about it in her own time. The afternoon only got stranger though, when five teenage girls showed up at the front door, practically sobbing about how they needed to speak to Anne immediately. The sight had made Matthew go so pale that Marilla thought he might be having a heart attack again, and Marilla simply pointed towards the stairs and guided Matthew into his chair to recuperate. One crying teenage girl he could somewhat handle, but five? His poor heart could hardly handle it.

Still, it seemed as if the issue had been resolved as Anne set the table, her mood still somewhat down, but not volatile like it had been earlier in the day. The silence that had settled over the family continued until all of the food had been set on the table and they had all taken their seats. Finally, after all of them had begun eating, Marilla decided to speak up. 

“I’d like to give you a chance to say anything if you wish to.” She said carefully, trying not to provoke Anne into another fit of tears. Anne kept her eyes down on her plate, pushing around her peas as she bit her lip lightly. How had it only been 24 hours since she was practically floating in her seat with joy? 

“It was a very tumultuous day,” Anne said finally, looking up from her plate. “I thought I would wait so we could tell you together, but the story is practically impossible to tell without this knowledge. Gilbert Blythe and I have acknowledged our mutual affection for each other, and have decided to begin a courtship.” She said formally. 

Matthew’s eyebrows went up so far they nearly touched his hairline at Anne’s words, taking a sip of his water to keep himself from choking. 

“Is that right?” He said, coughing slightly when his attempts to not choke failed. His Anne sure did have a talent at catching him off guard in the worst moments. The redhead nodded once in confirmation, cutting into her dinner as she continued. 

“We only came to such a conclusion just yesterday, which was why I was so awfully happy last night at supper. But you see, there was a slight dilemma. Ruby Gillis has liked Gilbert for six years now and was convinced that she was the object of his affections, and while it was quite obvious that she was not, I still could not in good conscious begin a relationship with Gilbert without speaking to her first. But, I got too nervous and accidentally blurted the news out at tea today, and Ruby was awfully upset and when I tried to explain myself she asked me to leave. So when I came in earlier, I was distraught at the thought of losing all of my friends, and that they would think that I was absolutely wretched for stealing Gilbert away from Ruby. I also believed that Ruby would tell me to stay away from Gilbert and that I would be obligated to do so in order to maintain my friendships, which was equally distressing in its own right.” 

She finished her spiel with a pointed bite of her meat pie, leaving Marilla and Matthew to stare at each other in bewilderment at the tidal wave of information just thrown on them. Anne continued on eating, seemingly unaware of her parent’s confusion, and the fact that neither of them was eating and were instead staring at her with wide eyes. 

“Oh! I should probably finish the story.” Anne said, holding her fork up into the air as she remembered. “I was determined to live out the rest of my days locked in my room, thrown into the pits of despair, or to move away and change my name to begin a life of spinsterhood, but my dear, sweet friends came to apologize. Imagine! While I was thoroughly convinced that I was the one who had done wrong, they were under the impression that they were being awful friends as well. Apparently, after Ruby asked me to leave, she sat in the garden by herself for a while to try and collect herself, and then when she came back inside by herself the other girls had worked themselves into a tizzy over how unfair they felt like they had been. They got Ruby’s side of the situation, then explained mine to her, and she agreed with them! So they left Tillie’s immediately to come to apologize for neglecting my feelings in this whole situation, and for Ruby to give me her blessing to continue seeing Gilbert. And they all brought me the most beautiful bouquets, I must have some nails and twine after dinner so I can tie the bouquets together and hang them from my wall. They will make the most beautiful reminder of the solemn and sacred friendships I have found. My, how wonderful it is to have friends that love you so deeply and dearly as mine.” She sighed wistfully, setting her cheek in the palm of her hand. 

“Elbows off the table, Anne.” Marilla reminded her almost entirely out of instinct, sitting up straighter as she crafted her response to the tale. “That certainly sounds like a… stressful day. I’m glad you were able to make amends with your friends though.” 

“And I think it’d be appropriate to have Gilbert and his family over for supper tomorrow,” Matthew added. “I think I’d like to have a word or two with him.” 

Anne blanched at his suggestion, dropping her fork with a clatter. “No, no, no. That’s a horrible, nay an absolutely _terrible_ , idea. The courtship is so new, hardly even begun really, why don’t we wait a little while-” 

“Oh, hush,” Marilla said, practically rolling her eyes at the girl’s foolishness. “It’s only proper for the families to meet after an understanding has been made. Besides, we’ve had them over before with little problem, it’ll be much the same as then. You’ll best invite him in the morning when you see him at church.” 

Anne went quiet, knowing better than to try and fight back, and Marilla and Matthew simply traded small grins with each other as they began eating. There would be a time to talk with Anne about stomping through the house, back-talking, and barricading one's door later. For now, a crisis had been averted, and that was enough to be thankful for. 

______________

The next morning, Anne spent more time than usual getting ready for church. She chose to wear her hair down, simply typing some of it out of her face with her blue ribbon, knotting it in a bow. While her fiery tresses were still the bane of her existence, she had to admit that it was getting darker as she grew older, and she hoped that one day it would be a magnificent, deep auburn. Maybe then she would look mysterious and alluring, rather than pale and homely. 

She wished she had something nicer to wear, like one of Diana’s beautiful blue dresses with delicate lace on the collar and sleeves. But she only had the ones Marilla made for her, and while she was thankful for them, there was nothing particularly striking about them, and she wanted to be especially gussied up for seeing Gilbert that morning. She ended up putting on her light green dress just as Marilla called her name from downstairs, cinching her belt around her waist to emphasize her subtle curves (without being too provocative, of course) and smoothing out the wrinkles as she pinched at her cheeks to bring some color to her otherwise pale face as she hurried the stairs. 

“Well it took you long enough, we’ll be lucky to be there before the doxology.” Marilla huffed, pulling a shawl around her shoulders as she ushered Anne out of the house to where Matthew was waiting with the carriage. 

Luckily they weren’t late and were able to claim their seats just as the minister took his place at the front, signaling the start of the service. Anne bowed her head as the minister prayed, knowing that Marilla would give her a sharp look if she used the prayer as an opportunity to look around. Of course, she only had one person that she wanted to see, and she knew that he would be sitting in the back right pew, beside Bash with Delphine in his lap, just as he was every Sunday. She hated that Gilbert and his family sat so far away, but she knew that some people in town would have a problem with them being any closer, and she also knew that Hazel felt comfortable there anyway, tucked away out of sight in the back. 

It was a struggle to sit still during the service, with her mind wandering. She thought about the kiss they had shared on their walk home (and subsequently blushed and prayed that God would forgive her for thinking of such indecent things while in church) and about the thrill of what came next. When would he kiss her again, would they even have the opportunity? Perhaps now he would hold her hand if he continued to walk her home. Maybe they could go on picnics and lay back on the blanket together to watch the clouds go by, and if they happened to lay so close that their shoulders touched, well that wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, now would it? It was all so new to Anne, and the thought of it made her heart race slightly. 

Marilla, having noticed her daydreaming, gently nudged her, pulling her from her thoughts and back to the minister’s sermon. She dutifully kept her eyes on the minister for the rest of the service, nodding every so often to show understanding even though her mind was still a thousand miles off. When the final prayer was finally said, Anne nearly wept with joy as she leaped from her seat. 

“I have to go help pass the paper out, I’ll meet you at the carriage?” She said quickly, not waiting for a response before bounding off towards the doors. 

Her friends were already there when she arrived, and they all giggled as she grabbed a stack of papers to pass out, taking her spot between Jane and Josie. 

“Well,  _ good morning to you,  _ Anne,” Tillie said with a giggle, her cheeks pink as she struggled to contain her grin. 

“Say, is there any special reason that you’re wearing your hair down today?” Josie teased, a glint of mischief in her eyes as she glanced over to her. Anne blushed, ducking her head. 

“Just thought I’d do something different this morning.” She lied, even though she knew all of her friends would see through it instantly. Their tittering laughter proved her prediction right, and she rolled her eyes. 

“Have you talked to Gilbert yet today?” Jane asked bluntly, breaking the little game they were playing, making the giggles grow tenfold. 

“Hush!” Anne said, whacking Jane in the stomach with her stack of papers. “No one knows yet besides Matthew and Marilla, and I’d really like to keep the whole town from knowing. But the answer is no, we were running a bit late this morning. I assume he’s already been by with his family?” 

“The Lacroix’s have been by, they’re always the first out,” Diana said, stopping her train of thought as she passed out a few papers before turning back to the group. “But Gilbert hasn’t come out yet. I wonder if he was waiting on a certain someone inside.” 

Another round of giggling ensued as Anne blushed at her suggestion. Could Gilbert really be waiting on her inside, with the intention of walking out with her? She dared a glance towards the doors, and at just the perfect time to see him walk out, pulling his hat on as his eyes scanned the crowd outside of the church. A small smile settled on his face when his eyes landed on her, and her insides practically melted as he stepped down the stairs. 

“Goodmorning, ladies.” He said, addressing the whole group. Anne hid a snort behind her hand as she grinned at how he was trying to play cool. 

“Good morning, Gilbert” Her friends giggled as Anne stumbled forward- a result of Jane traitorously shoving her forward towards him. Gilbert caught her before she could fall, gently gripping her forearm to steady her. 

“They all know.” She said with a deadpan expression, and Gilbert chuckled as he steadied her, gently squeezing her arm, so lightly she almost didn’t notice it, before letting go. 

“Ah, so the cat is out of the bag.” He said, his eyes glittering mischievously down at her. 

“Very much so.” Tillie tittered, only to yelp when Diana pinched her. 

His eyes found hers, raising an eyebrow in a silent question, and she gave him an almost imperceptible shake of the head, a silent promise that she would explain everything later. 

“Gilbert, might I speak with you for a moment?” She asked, shooting her friends a dirty look as she shoved her remaining papers into Jane’s hands. 

“Of course.” He said, leading the two of them away. Anne turned to look over her shoulder, sticking her tongue out at her friends, who were practically falling over each other as they silently screamed and made hearts with their hands as the two walked away. Even Ruby, who had been quiet throughout the whole conversation, had a romantic look on her face. 

“Matthew and Marilla would like for you and your family to come over for dinner tonight.” She said once they reached his carriage. Gilbert’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, but he was able to relax his expression quickly and cleared his throat. 

“That sounds lovely. I’ll let Bash and Hazel know.” He said, reaching out to take her hand and brush his lips against her knuckles, making her blush fiercely. It was the first real display of affection they had shared in public for the whole world to see, and while they had already had moments that could be considered much more intimate, this seemed much more so. Perhaps it was because he was staking his claim in front of everyone, that she was his and he was not ashamed of her. 

“I’ll see you tonight, supper is at seven.” She said, lightly squeezing his fingers before pulling her hand out of his, immediately missing the weight and warmth of it in hers. She wished she could hold his hand for all eternity, entwining their hands and souls as they went through life together. But alas, it was hardly practical or possible to always be holding his hand, so she settled for the tingling in her fingers from his kiss as she waved goodbye as she walked over to her friends. The church had already cleared out, so there was no need to pass out papers as she joined their huddle. 

“Oh my goodness!” Tillie squealed. 

“Wasn’t it so romantic when he kissed your hand?” Diana sighed. 

“Wasn’t it so romantic when he kissed your mouth?” Jane giggled, sending the other girls into a fit of laughter as Anne pinched her arm, hissing something about being discreet in public. 

“This is not the time, nor the place to talk about such things.” She said primly as Jane rubbed her arm. “In time, I'm sure I'll be able to divulge the details of my relationship, but for now it’ll have to wait. The Blythe-Lacroix family is coming to Green Gables for supper, and I have to go help Marilla prepare.” 

The news made her friend’s squeal, and Anne simply rolled her eyes and bid them goodbye before they could suck her into another conversation about her courtship. She knew they would find a time to catch her alone so they could interrogate her to their heart’s content, but for now, she was very thankful to keep everything to herself, thank you very much. 

_ Besides _ , she thought as she joined her guardians at the carriage, climbing in and settling next to Marilla as they headed off towards home. She spared one last look at Gilbert, who was helping Hazel into the carriage, but looked up and met her eye. He winked at her, a flirtatious look in his eye as he did.  _ I have bigger things to worry about today.  _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up guys, because there's some shirbert fluff coming your way next chapter! Feel free to leave a comment letting me know what you thought, your feedback is the fuel that powers this fic writing machine! 
> 
> As always, I'll try my best to have it out tomorrow (depending on how much school work I get done today, because I can only put it off for so long lol) but either way, stay healthy, stay sane, and I'll see y'all next time!


	14. Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Cuthbert's have dinner guests, Marilla finds a kindred spirit, and Anne becomes indebted to Jerry (or alternatively: Gilbert kisses on the first date)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, what's this? A new chapter? I hope this one provides the much needed fluff that we've been missing out on these last few chapters! 
> 
> Thank you sunshinedreamer1234 for editing!

The closer it got to seven, the more anxious Anne got. She wasn’t quite sure _why_ she was nervous, Marilla had been right that morning- Gilbert and his family had been over to Green Gables for supper plenty of times, why would this one be any different?   
_Because now, you want to know when you’ll be able to sneak off with him._

The intrusive thought made her blush as she went about meticulously setting the table, glancing over her shoulder every so often to see if their guests had arrived. Marilla stood by the stove, tending to the food as she watched Anne fidget about. 

“That’s quite enough,” She said after a while, not being able to watch her any longer. “I suspect you’ll become part owl soon enough if you keep whipping your head around like that. Why don’t you straighten up the parlor, it can’t be much longer now.” 

Anne nodded, knowing that she had been banished into a room that didn’t have a view of the drive so that she wouldn’t constantly be checking. Could Marilla really blame her though for? She was a strange mix of anxious and excited, how was she supposed to sit still when she was brimming with such emotion? Still, she did as she was told and straightened the cushions out and arranged the firewood to be even neater than it already was, doing idle tasks while keeping her ears perked for any sound that would indicate that Gilbert was there. 

Finally,  _ blessedly,  _ there was a knock on the door and Anne practically sprinted to answer it, pushing her shoulders back and arranging her hair to fall prettily over her shoulders before answering the door. Her smile fell slightly when she was met with Bash- not that she wasn’t excited to see him or anything, but-

“Not who you were expecting?” He said, lifting an eyebrow at her teasingly. Her cheeks went hot, caught red-handed in a scheme she didn’t know she had been making, which only made Bash laugh at her embarrassment. She quickly composed herself, opening the door wider to allow him to enter. 

“Won’t you come in?” She said politely. Bash gave her a grin as he passed, leaning down to whisper to her. 

“He’s seeing to the horses with Matthew at the moment, I would try and refrain from joining them.” 

With that, he straightened and gave her a conspiratorial wink as he entered, followed by Hazel, who was carrying Delphine in her arms. 

“Good evening, Ms. Lacroix. I’m delighted you could join us tonight.” Anne said with a large smile, having a soft spot for the often cantankerous woman. Hazel simply gave her the same polite, but tight, smile that she gave most people in Avonlea as she continued through to the kitchen. With her guests inside, Anne spared a glance out to the barn, and her heart fell to her stomach as all of her nightmares came to fruition. All she could see was Jerry making his way towards the house, which meant that Gilbert and Matthew were in the barn. 

Alone. 

_ Dearest Heavenly Father,  _ she prayed desperately.  _ Please do not let my dear, sweet Matthew somehow scare him away.  _

She was forced away from the door when Marilla called her name, beckoning her to the kitchen to be polite and speak with her guests. She huffed, casting one last look towards the barn before closing the door and retreating to the kitchen, where Marilla and Hazel seemed to be in some sort of standoff. Bash was leaning against the wall, holding Delphine as he watched on with an amused smirk. 

“I simply cannot let you do this in good conscience, Ms. Lacroix. You are my guest, it would be totally improper-” 

“I’ve spent too much of my life behind a stove to sit idle while one is running, now if you’d please pass me the spoon, Ms. Cuthbert.” Hazel challenged, holding her hand out as she raised a thin eyebrow and gave her a withering look. Anne stood, baffled at the scene. It seemed like stubborn Marilla had finally met her match, and it was certainly an entertaining sight. Perhaps Marilla and Hazel were kindred spirits of each other, in their own way. After another moment of tense staring, Marilla sighed, relinquishing her spoon to Hazel. 

“Well, if you insist.” She huffed. “But if you must tend to the stew, then I’ll just have to bring out the cake that you brought, which you certainly didn’t have to make on such short notice.” 

The other woman made a dismissive noise, waving her hand at Marilla’s words. “It wouldn’t do, turning up empty-handed.” She said as Marilla pulled a scrumptious looking cake out of the basket Bash had carried in with him. 

“That looks absolutely delectable,” Anne said, her mouth watering at the sight of the dark, moist cake. 

“And it tastes even better.” Bash said with a chuckle as he reached out to take a pinch from it, only to be swatted away by Marilla’s hand and Hazel’s spoon. He yelped in pain, pulling his bruised knuckles up to his mouth as he shot a dirty look towards his mother. 

The door opened behind Anne at that moment, and she whirled around, only to be sorely disappointed ( _ again)  _ by who was standing at the threshold. It was only Jerry, pulling off his hat and making his way towards the basin to wash up. 

“Please tell me Matthew isn’t threatening Gilbert at gunpoint right now,” Anne said, her voice low as she nonchalantly made her way over to him as he was washing his hands. He didn’t say anything at first, simply washing his hands with painstaking precision- which he  _ never  _ did, and Anne knew he was doing it just to be annoying. Finally, he looked up at her, and then out the window. 

“ _ Non,  _ I don’t think so.” He said cheekily, and Anne looked up to follow his gaze to where the two men were crossing the yard. Anne’s heart skipped a beat in her chest. Gilbert was still wearing his suit from church that morning and looked incredibly handsome as he walked beside Matthew, his hands casually tucked into his pockets. It appeared that he was laughing at something, and Anne felt a heavy load fall off of her shoulders in relief. Whatever had happened, it seemed to have gone well. 

If anyone asked her later if she was waiting for Gilbert by the door, she would fiercely deny it. She wasn’t  _ waiting,  _ per se, she just so happened to be waiting there, eying the delicious rum cake Hazel had brought when Gilbert and Matthew came inside. 

She stood ramrod straight as he entered, pulling off his hat and coat to hang up beside Matthew and Jerry’s before turning to her. 

“Hello, Anne.” He said formally, a hint of a grin playing on his lips. “You look lovely this evening.” 

She smiled, playing the part of the proper young lady as she nodded. “Thank you, Gilbert. You look nice as well.” 

The two stood still after that, a respectable distance between them as they smiled at each other like no one else was in the room. Alas, they were not alone, and the room was very much full of their families. All of them watched on, silently wondering why it had taken so long for them to get to this point after being smitten by each other for years. 

“You think they’re going to be ogling all moony like for the rest of the night?” Bash asked Matthew as the man shook his head, nodding at the couple. Matthew chuckled, sparing the two a glance before turning back to the man. 

“I reckon they’ll be doing that for the rest of their lives.” He said, with a knowing grin and a shrug of his shoulders. 

“Enough yammering on,” Marilla huffed, growing tired of the foolishness. “Anne, start taking dishes to the table, and Matthew, grab the pot of stew, would you?”    


“Oh, allow me, Ms. Cuthbert,” Gilbert said, breaking free of the trance he had been locked into with Anne as he moved to grab potholders before picking up the stew. Anne watched, trying to be subtle, as his arms flexed as he picked up the heavy cast iron pot. 

“Mind yourself,” Marilla warned, shoving a basket of rolls into her hands and shooing her off towards the table.  _ So much for subtlety,  _ she thought as she set up rolls down at the table before standing behind her seat, waiting for the rest of the food to be set down and for her guests to find their spots before sitting. It was a tight fit at the table, with seven adults (or four adults, and three near adults) and a baby, but Anne didn’t complain. If anything, she was thankful for it. With Jerry, Gilbert, and her on the bench seat, she was able to get away with pressing the outside of her leg against Gilbert’s, his body warm and firm against hers as Matthew said the blessing. 

The meal went off without a hitch, the conversation was easy and light, as it always was when Gilbert came over. Jerry and Bash got along well with their shared love of teasing their adoptive siblings, which left both Anne and Gilbert sending dirty glares across the table. Marilla and Hazel got along fabulously too, with their no-nonsense attitudes they easily lapsed into a conversation about housekeeping and childrearing. Matthew was just content to sit and hold Delphine in his lap as he ate because the baby never expected an answer out of him. 

As well as the meal went, by the time the cake was cut and they were all agreeing that it was one of the best things they had ever tasted, Anne was more than ready to get Gilbert alone. Not for any indecent reason,  _ thank you very much,  _ but simply to talk to him without any watchful eyes or ears. 

She cleared her throat, leaning over the table slightly to catch Matthew’s eye. 

“Can I take Gilbert to the barn to see Belle’s colt?” She asked innocently. He glanced over to Marilla, and Anne followed suit. Marilla, in turn, looked as Bash, who had a smug grin on his face. Anne watched as the adults had a silent conversation, practically shaking with anticipation. 

“I don’t see a problem with it,” Matthew said finally with a small nod. Anne smiled, standing up quickly now that permission had been given. 

“But clear away your place first!” Marilla said quickly. “And Jerry, why don’t you go with them?” 

Anne nearly groaned as she picked up her dishes, but knew better than to argue. If she did try to talk back, it would only make her suspicious of why she didn’t want a chaperone. She could practically feel Gilbert’s grin behind her as she put her things in the sink, then turned to take his bowl from him. Jerry held his dishes out to her with a grin like the Cheshire cat, but she merely rolled her eyes in annoyance. 

“Put away your own dishes.” She muttered under her breath, breezing past him to lead her and Gilbert outside. 

Jerry trailed close behind them all the way down to the barn, and as soon as they were out of view from the windows, she rounded on him. 

“Name your price.” She said, crossing her arms over her chest. He stopped, raising an eyebrow at her. 

“Excuse me?” He said, looking back and forth between her and Gilbert with confusion etched all over his face. 

“What do I have to give you to go sit outside where they can’t see you and not say a word about it later?” She said, and at the realization of what she was asking to do, Jerry burst into laughter. Anne groaned in frustration, stepping forward to shove him. That did nothing to inhibit his laughter, and she was on the verge of abandoning the whole mission when he finally slowed to a chuckle, looking back and forth between the two of them again. 

“Alright,” He said, a smug grin on his face. “I want an apple pie.” 

“Fine-” 

“Wait!” Jerry said, holding a hand out to stop her. “ _ Two _ pies, so I can share with my family.” 

“Alright deal, now leave.” She huffed, shaking his hand and practically throwing him out of the barn. When he was finally gone, Anne leaned up against the horse pen, crossing her arms over her chest as she looked up at Gilbert. He had been silent during the whole exchange and was looking at her with an amused look on his face. 

“Very smart, Miss Shirley-Cuthbert.” He said as he stepped forward, putting his hands into his pockets. “At least now we know that Jerry’s silence is very easily bought.” 

“Doesn’t mean he won’t be a cad about it.” She huffed, making Gilbert chuckle. 

“I think we can handle that, though.” He said. “So is there any reason you wanted to get me alone?” 

Anne blushed, realizing the situation she had put them in. “Oh! No, nothing in particular. I mean, I wasn’t trying to suggest anything, o-or anything like that. It certainly wasn’t my intention to have anything untoward or-” 

“Breathe.” Gilbert cut her off as he reached out and took her hand in his. “I was kidding.” 

Anne heaved a sigh, squeezing his hand in hers. “I truly did just want to talk with you for a moment.” She admitted, looking up at him through her lashes. Had he gotten closer to her, or was her mind playing tricks on her? 

“Alright then, let’s talk.” 

“First,” She started out. “What did you and Matthew talk about before coming into the house?” 

Gilbert smiled, shaking his head at her request. “I’m afraid I can’t tell you that.” 

“Why ever not?” 

“Top secret men talk,” He said cryptically, giving her a playful look. She huffed, very unsatisfied by the answer. Thankfully, her beau took mercy on her and gave her hand a small squeeze. “It was nothing you need to worry about, but I can promise you that it was a good conversation and my life is not in any danger.” 

Though the only thing that would truly satisfy her curiosity was every detail of the conversation, she supposed the reassurance that he wasn’t going to run away terrified was going to have to do for now. 

“Now,” He said, lifting their hands to press a kiss to the back of hers. “Tell me how the conversation with Ruby went.” 

“Well, in my opinion, it went horrifically wrong.” She said with a large sigh, having waited so long to tell him everything. He listened intently as she talked, eyebrows furrowing and raising rapidly as she told the story. When she got to the end of it, he simply nodded, staying silent as he absorbed her words. 

“Well… that certainly is something. It explains their behavior at church this morning, that is for sure.” He said. Anne nodded in return, rolling her eyes. 

“Indeed, I’m certain it’ll be hard to keep secrets from them. It’s all they’ll be able to talk about for the rest of the summer, I’m sure.” She said. Gilbert raised an eyebrow, reaching up with his free hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. 

“Perhaps you could keep some things secret?” He asked as he gently cupped her cheek. He had the look in his eye again, the look that made her insides turn to jelly and her heartbeat a little faster. He was standing so close now that they were almost pressed together, and she let go of his hand to rest it on his shoulder, drawing him ever so slightly closer to her. 

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but you have to have a secret in order to keep it, right?” She teased, and Gilbert simply chuckled before tilting her chin up to press their lips together. 

They kissed slowly for a moment, relishing the new feeling. It wasn’t much, just a simple press of his mouth on hers, but she didn’t mind at all. His lips were warm and soft against hers, and she felt secure when his hand made its way to the back of her neck where it belonged. It wasn’t a particularly intense kiss, but it was calming and warm and safe and it was the only thing she wanted to do for the rest of her life. Her hands found their way to his elbows, holding onto him lightly as his other hand fell to the curve of her waist. She inhaled sharply at the feeling and he pulled away, resting her forehead against hers. 

“Is this alright?” Gilbert asked, his breath fanning across her face. She nodded quickly, relishing the way the heat from his hand bled through the layers of her clothes, setting her on fire. Even though her eyes were closed and she suspected his eyes were as well, she knew he could feel the motion. She tilted her chin up, seeking out his lips again. This kiss was different from the first, it was still slow, but as he drew her in closer so that their chests brushed, their lips began to move over the others. It was like a dance or the tides. There was an ebb and a flow to it, and every movement stoked the fire inside of her a little bit more. She finally understood what the stories she spent hours and hours reading finally meant. Kissing was the most magical thing, and she was very glad to be doing it with Gilbert. 

She wasn’t sure how long the unhurried exploration of each other’s lips lasted, it seemed like time blurred together and that they were the only two things in the entire universe that existed, but eventually they broke away at the sound of Jerry banging against the side of the barn, signaling his entrance. Gilbert took a step back, hands going into his pockets as Anne brushed her fingers through her hair, hoping it didn’t look too messed up as Jerry sauntered back into the barn. 

“Have a good talk?” he asked, a raised eyebrow suggesting that he knew that not much talking had occurred. Anne fought the urge to hit the smug grin off of his face as she took Gilbert’s hand in hers and pulled him out of the barn, his laughter echoing behind them as they left. 

“Sorry, he’s such an idiot.” She grumbled as they made their way onto the porch, lingering outside where they could still talk in relative privacy, but still out of earshot of the adults. Gilbert shrugged, a playful grin on his face. 

“I think I’ll be able to handle it if we get time like that again.” He said, and Anne felt herself blush. 

“You know, we probably should do some actual talking at some point. You know, about the weather, or books we’re reading, or the entrance exams…” 

“All important things, true.” Gilbert agreed. “And trust me, I fully intend to court you properly. I would hate for you to think I’m only pursuing you to get you alone for nefarious purposes.” 

Anne shook her head, reaching out to squeeze his fingers lightly. “I don’t think that at all, and I don’t object to the proper way of things… and some of the ‘improper’ either. You know, I do hate how backward the rules of propriety are. We’re kept separate to prevent us from sullying our reputations when really everyone knows it is only the girl’s reputation that gets ruined, and yet they won’t even tell us what we’re not allowed to be doing! It seems silly to tell us that things are off-limits, and won’t even tell us what!” 

Gilbert’s face grew redder and redder the longer she talked, and by the end of it, he was praying for the sweet kiss of death. While he agreed with her points, he was certainly not ready to talk to Anne about anything of the sort,  _ especially  _ while standing on her front porch. 

“Alright, and with that, I believe it might be time for us to go inside.” He said, hiding his nerves with a chuckle as he opened the door for her. 

“You’re avoiding the subject, but I will get to the bottom of it!” Anne hissed over her shoulder as he ushered her inside. 

_ I’d probably sooner get you on the bottom of me than for you to get a straight answer from anyone in this town, but isn’t that the root of the problem?  _ He thought, but aloud he only rolled his eyes. 

“Whatever you say, Anne-girl. Whatever you say.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it! Leave me a comment letting me know what you think, and if there's anything you'd like to see, let me know what it is and I'll do my best! This fic has a very very loose plan and is very forgiving, so all you have to do is ask and you (probably) shall receive!


	15. Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne asks Marilla a very important question on the matters of life. Panic ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, an update! Here's chapter 15, I hope you guys like it!
> 
> Beware: Victorian/Edwardian era sex education lies ahead. Proceed with caution.

However mortifying it was, Anne needed to talk to Marilla. She was a woman grown, and she thought it was only proper to know the ways of the world, especially with the new development of her relationship with Gilbert. 

It had been several days since Gilbert and his family had been over for dinner, and the last bit of their conversation had been burning in her head ever since. For all practical purposes, it made a lot of sense. If she were to truly follow the rules of propriety (which, for the record, she was already bending the rules on a fair bit), she needed to fully understand what they were avoiding in the first place. She had the vaguest understanding of it all, that unmarried couples could not be alone because they could not be trusted to remain chaste and a baby could result from the relations. But again,  _ what was it that they weren’t supposed to do?  _ If she really wanted to avoid a baby, shouldn’t she know how one was formed so no accidental procreation occurred? 

With her mind made up, Anne made her way downstairs from where she had been reading in her room, determined to get answers from her guardian. 

She found the older woman sewing, hands steady and focused as she worked. Anne took a deep breath as she sat down across from her, folding her hands neatly in her lap as she tried to hide her nerves. 

“Marilla, I have a question for you, and I hope you are not alarmed by it.” She started, earning a wary look from her just from her introduction. 

“Oh dear,” she sighed as she stopped working, sitting up in her chair. 

“Now, please don’t think I’m asking this in order to take advantage of the information, or because something has already happened. Those are both very far from the truth. I just believe that since I am sixteen and in courtship, very much on my way to being a woman of the world, especially when I get to Queens soon, that it is imperative that I am equipped with this knowledge in order to keep myself safe.” She said, as Marilla’s face only grew warier the longer she spoke. 

“Well, out with it then.” She said, raising an eyebrow as she tried to prepare herself for whatever was about to come out of Anne’s mouth. 

“I would like to know the process of conception-” 

“Absolutely not,” Marilla said, standing from her chair and walking away. 

“Oh, Marilla please!” Anne begged as she chased after her. 

“I said no, and that’s final!” Marilla said firmly. Anne huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“Then perhaps I should go ask Jerry? Or maybe even Gilbert, I’m sure he knows.” She said, turning on her heel to leave. 

“No!” Marilla said, quickly moving past her to stand in front of the door. “You won’t be doing that either, that is incredibly inappropriate. The matters of conception are for married folk.” 

“Well you never married, and you seem to know plenty.” Anne fought, not ready to back down without a fight. 

Ignoring the slight, Marilla stared her down for a moment before throwing her hands in the air. “Do I even bother asking where this ludicrous idea has come from?” 

Anne hid the smile that threatened to appear on her face as she moved to sit at the table. She was making progress, even if it was at a glacial pace. “I was just thinking about all of the rules that are in place now that Gilbert and I are courting. I know that it is to keep us both pure and chaste for marriage, and to prevent having a child out of wedlock, but it just seems silly to me. Why keep us ignorant of the human processes? Ruby Gillis was under the impression that even touching a boy's hand would lead her to fall pregnant, isn’t that frighteningly unfair? Diana believed that only married couples could have a baby, and she was scandalized when I told her that I had seen older girls at the asylum end up pregnant. The lack of information given to us is what seems to lead to trouble, not the abundance of it. Surely if we are to avoid unintentionally having a child, shouldn’t we know how one is made? That way we can truly say that every precaution has been taken?” 

“Well, you certainly won’t have that problem if you simply follow the rules.” Marilla retorted. Anne scoffed, giving the older woman a pointed look. 

“So you and John Blythe followed every single rule perfectly? Not a single unchaperoned moment? No stolen kisses when no one was looking? Because if that is true, or if you can tell me of one couple in town that has followed every rule of propriety without any faults, then I will walk away and never bring up the topic again.” She said, watching as Marilla stared off, racking her brain for an example to give. The longer she thought, the more victorious Anne felt. Finally, Marilla sighed, sitting down at the table across from Anne. 

“I will not tell you everything, only what you need to know.” She started, voice tight. “And you are not to tell anyone this, that includes Diana and your school friends. I believe that it is up to their mothers to tell them when they find it appropriate to do so. And I certainly don’t want you telling Gilbert that you have become privy to this knowledge, he is respectable, but a boy nonetheless. This is for you to be informed, not to allow for any sort of promiscuous behavior without the consequences of pregnancy. Am I understood?” 

Anne nodded quickly, open to agreeing with any terms Marilla set, as long as it meant that she would be told. She sat up straighter, a ready and eager student. The older woman simply sighed, looking anywhere but Anne as she wrung her hands together nervously. 

“As you may know, it takes a man and a woman to conceive a child,” She started slowly. Anne nodded, hanging on to her every word. “And you know that you have your… monthly time and it is a step in the process-” 

“Wait, what does  _ that  _ have to do with anything?” Anne interjected, and Marilla shot her a sharp look. 

“Are you going to listen, or ask questions?” She asked, and Anne quickly shut her mouth, sitting on her hands to keep her from another outburst. Marilla took a slow, deep breath, gathering her resolve before continuing. “Like I was saying, it is a step in the process. The blood is… it provides nutrients for a child when it is in the womb. It acts as the connection between baby and mother. But when there is no child, it must be shed. Are you understanding me so far?” 

Anne simply nodded, afraid that if she were to ask any questions Marilla would refuse to answer them and give up on the endeavor altogether. Still, even with the morsel of knowledge she had learned, she felt infinitely wiser than she had when she woke up that morning. Who would have thought that the horrible trial she had to endure would one day lead her on the path to motherhood? 

“But a child is formed when a man and a woman- a  _ married  _ man and woman… oh, dear heavens, join together to make a baby.” She said with an air of finality as she stood. “There, now you know.” 

Anne looked up at her quizzically. “Forgive me, but I still know just about as much as I did before this conversation. I knew that a couple has to contribute to the process in some way, but how? How does the baby get into the womb? I’ve helped with births, I know where the baby emerges from- which might I say seems like the most terrible of things-” 

Marilla’s face went red at her prodding, and she sat down again, burying her face in her hands. “You don’t make things easy, dear.” She sighed. “Alright, this is the last thing I will tell you, and I don’t want any cheek or questions.” 

“I understand,” Anne said with a nod. 

“I’m sure you are aware from seeing baby boys that men and women are… made differently.” She said, lifting her head as she smoothed away stray hairs that had escaped the confines of her bun. Anne couldn’t think of a time that she had seen Marilla so frazzled. Anne simply nodded, thinking about how Mrs. Hammond complained on and on about her husband’s pet mouse that always seemed to be getting her (and him) into trouble. She knew that there was some sort of touching said mouse that resulted in pregnancy, but exactly how she wasn’t sure. 

“Well, in order for a woman to conceive… a man and a woman must… bring their unique parts… together, and a child is formed when they become connected.” Marilla stammered through the last bit. Anne’s head was spinning as she struggled to string together the information that she had just been told. 

“Wait,” She said, face blanching. “So you’re saying that in order to have a baby that a man’s…  _ part _ has to go…” 

Marilla nodded once, not making eye contact with her as she confirmed her suspicions. 

“Ew!” Anne screamed as she stood up from the table. 

Marilla simply shrugged, finally sparing a glance at her. “You were the one who wanted to know.” 

“Oh no, oh no, how… I mean why… that is the most  _ disgusting….  _ Gross!” Anne ranted, pacing through the kitchen. “This is the most terrible news you could have given me, how could anyone actually  _ want to-  _ ugh! I-I need fresh air to clear my head of this absolutely horrible, atrocious,  _ vile _ new knowledge.” 

With that, Anne took her hat from its peg and marched out of the house, leaving Marilla relieved and bewildered at the table. “Well,” she said quietly to herself with a hint of satisfaction as she made her way back to the sewing machine to continue her work. “At least it appears there won’t be a baby anytime soon.” 

_________________

Anne’s head was reeling as she stomped through the woods, not quite sure where her feet were taking her. But, how? How could a man put himself… there? She nearly gagged at the thought of it as she emerged from the trees and looked up to her surroundings. Somehow, she had made a beeline straight to Gilbert’s house, and she could see him milling about by the barn. She took a deep breath as she continued forward. She knew Marilla had told her not to tell Gilbert, but she certainly didn’t think that him knowing would make any difference. It was something she had absolutely  _ no  _ interest in doing. Possibly ever. If that was the necessary step in the process of childbearing, perhaps a life of motherhood was not for her. 

Thankfully, Gilbert was alone when she reached him, and she grabbed him by his shirt, hauling him into the barn. 

“Where is Bash?” She asked quickly, looking around frantically to ensure that they had privacy. 

“He’s in the house, why? What’s the matter?” He asked, reaching out to gently stroke her cheek in an effort to calm her down. 

“What’s the matter?” She parroted, not even able to enjoy the sweet touch as panic ran through her body. “The matter is that Marilla told me the process of procreation, and I have never heard of a more  _ revolting  _ idea!” 

Gilbert was silent for a moment, looking at her in utter bewilderment before he started laughing. 

“ _ This is not funny Gilbert Blythe!”  _ She screamed at him, punctuating each word with a smack against his chest. How dare he laugh at her! It must be funny to him, seeing as he is the one who would seemingly benefit from the act. He continued to laugh as he wrapped his arms around her, stopping her assault as he pulled her into his chest. 

“Calm down, Anne-girl.” He said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, gently rubbing her back in an effort to soothe her.   
“It’s easy for you to be calm!” She shouted, voice muffled by his shirt. She pulled away from him, looking up at him with tears brimming in her bright blue eyes. 

“Oh, please tell me it isn’t true.” She pleaded. “Because I fear that if it is, that I may never want to do it.” 

Gilbert chuckled, reaching up to cup her cheek in his hand. “Although I have a feeling Marilla might not have told you everything, from what I’m gathering, it seems that you had been told the truth. Why don’t you tell me what you think you know.” 

Anne shivered in horror, stepping away from his embrace. “Well, with the way Marilla described it, if we want a child sometime in the incredibly distant future, that your-” She glanced down to the front of his pants, eyes growing wide at the thought, even though nothing was truly visible to her. Truthfully, she wasn’t even sure what she would be looking for. Was it going to be the same size as the baby boys she had seen? Or did it grow throughout life? She felt nauseous as that thought entered her mind. She looked back up to Gilbert to find that he was watching her intently, his cheeks flushed and his eyes dark. Her voice was small and squeaky as she continued. “ _ It  _ will have to go…” She looked down at her own body, to the place where her legs met underneath her dress. She was unfamiliar with the area, only really touching it briefly when she was bathing, but she couldn’t imagine anything actually going  _ inside _ of her. 

“Anne, sweetheart,” Gilbert said, his fingers grasping her chin gently, tilting her head up to look him in the eye. Her lip was trembling slightly, and he leaned down to kiss it away. She seemed more relaxed when he pulled away, and he kept his grip on her chin. “It seems like you have the right idea, but I promise you that I will never force myself onto you. I also do not intend on doing the act until we are married, as I am  _ not _ ready to father any children. But I can also promise you that it is not the wretched thing that you have framed it to be in your head. In fact, if done right, I’ve heard it can be quite… pleasurable for both parties.” 

“How can you say that though?” Anne asked, still on the brink of hysteria. He chuckled, stroking her cheekbone slowly with his thumb. “It sounds so  _ dirty _ , a-and wouldn’t it hurt?” 

“Without proper preparation beforehand, then yes, there can be some pain-” 

Anne whimpered. 

“ _ But,”  _ Gilbert said quickly, holding her tightly. “When the time comes, and we both agree to take that step together, I will do everything in my power to make the experience as pain-free and enjoyable as possible.” 

“How can something like that feel good though? I don’t understand.” She sighed. Gilbert just shrugged. 

“A mystery of life, I suppose. Although, I like to think it is a kindness of God to make something essential to life be fun. Also, despite what the adults seem to think in this town, people don’t go straight from kissing to intercourse. There are steps.” He said. 

“Steps?” Anne asked, curiously quirking up an eyebrow. 

“Well, yes,” Gilbert said, blushing his eyes and averting his gaze. He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing with the movement. “There are ways of being… intimate, without intercourse, so that pleasure is still given, but there is no risk of a baby. But I don’t want you to worry about any of that now, I neither want nor expect anything like that anytime soon. Do you like kissing me?” 

Anne furrowed her eyebrows, thinking that it was a trick question. “Yes?” She replied tentatively. 

Gilbert nodded. “Then, for now, that is all I want you to focus on. Everything else can wait for a while.” 

With that, he brought their lips together, kissing her firmly. It started off like the other kisses they had shared, slow and lingering, but after a moment he increased the pressure of his lips on hers, kissing her more insistently in a way that sent tingles through her body. She did her best to keep up with the quicker pace he had set, leaning into him and looping her arms around his neck, running her fingers through his dark curls to anchor themselves together. His hands settled on her slim waist, practically encircling her as he brought her closer. He walked them backward until his back hit the wall of the barn, leaning into it as Anne settled between his legs as they kissed. 

She wasn’t sure what to think when his teeth first grazed her bottom lip, gently at first, as if he were testing the waters, and then more firmly when she didn’t object to it. She gasped into his mouth, tightening her grip on his hair. He grunted in her mouth at that, and she pulled away, both of them breathing heavy. He chased her lips, giving her one more kiss before leaning back against the wall. He gave her a satisfied, lopsided smile as his hands settled on her lower back. 

“That was nice.” She said dumbly. “I think I’d quite like it if you did it again.” 

Gilbert chuckled, and in lieu of a response, used his grip on her waist to turn them around, pressing her back against the wall of the barn before capturing her lips again. He nipped at her bottom lip again, tugging on it slightly before drawing it between his, sucking it lightly before releasing it. 

_ Oh!  _ Anne thought.  _ I really think I enjoy that.  _

Wanting to reciprocate, she carefully took Gilbert’s lip in between her teeth, biting down with slightly more force than she meant to. At the sensation Gilbert groaned into her mouth, hips jerking sharply against her. They both froze, hearts pounding against their chests for a moment before Gilbert quickly took two large steps back. 

“We should stop.” He said, lips glossy and red from their kissing. 

Even though part of her was slightly disappointed at the thought of them stopping, another part of her agreed with him. She wasn’t even supposed to be at his house, and anyone could walk in at any moment. Even though they weren’t doing  _ the act _ , something told Anne that even being caught kissing would be enough to get them into trouble. 

“Did I hurt you?” She asked innocently, and he shook his head. 

“No, it felt nice.” He said, his cheeks red as he gave her a nervous shrug. “Perhaps a little too nice.” 

Anne gave him a curious look as he shoved his hands into his pockets, and she nearly gasped at the bulge she saw in his pants. Could that be…? 

“Is that-” She started, and Gilbert cleared his throat, not looking her in the eye as he spoke. 

“Yes, but please don’t worry about it.” He said quickly before finding her gaze again. “You should probably head home. I can’t imagine what would happen if Bash were to walk in now, but I would surely never hear the end of it. I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

Anne nodded, quickly closing the space between them to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. He smiled down at her, brushing a kiss against her forehead before she turned and walked out of the barn, headed towards home. 

That night as she lay in bed, her mind was still swimming with all of the new things she had learned that day. She felt like she had unlocked a whole other side of life, a treasure trove of knowledge that she had not been privy to before. She thought about the bulge in Gilbert’s pants after they had kissed. Would that happen every time they kissed? Would she be able to feel it if he got too close? Did she even want to feel it? 

She shuddered at the thought, she was definitely  _ not _ ready to follow that avenue of thought yet. 

She thought about her own body. How would it possibly be able to handle the act when the time came, if it ever did? What if she never wanted to do it, would Gilbert really accept a life of chastity with her? Or would he leave her for some beautiful debutante who was practically raised to bear a man's children? She sighed, thinking back to her own body. Curious, she slid her hand under the covers and reached into her underwear, tentatively mapping out her body with her fingers. It just felt like flesh to her, like any other part of her body. She searched lower, finding the hole that she knew babies and blood came out of, and that male… bits would go into (a wave of nausea hit her with that thought) An idea hit her as she probed at herself with her fingers, trying to see what it would possibly feel like for a man to be there, and she quickly pulled away when the slight intrusion started hurting with a hot burning feeling. She put both hands over the covers, trying to look innocent in a crime that no one saw her commit. 

_ Yeah,  _ Anne thought as the pain between her legs faded away.  _ Definitely never doing that again.  _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was feeling some major Spring Awakening vibes from this chapter, it was a really really fun one to write! (anyone else a huge broadway nerd like me?) 
> 
> Note: While chapter 16 is on its way to being finished and I've been trying to update every day, my sleep schedule has been completely upended by being at home all the time, so I am currently nearing hour 21 of being awake, and I plan on staying awake until tonight so I can (hopefully) fix my sleep schedule. That being said, anything I write at this level of exhaustion will probably be trash, so it remains to be seen if I'll finish 16 today. Either way, I hope you all are staying safe and healthy at home, and keeping a better sleep schedule than I am. See you next time!


	16. Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls interrogate Anne, the day of the Queens exam arrives, and shenanigans ensue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Thanks for being patient and kind as I took the last day-ish off from writing, I was an absolute bear and made it around 33 hours without sleep, and then slept for a solid 13 lol. But I feel worlds better, and I'm ready to be back in the races writing! 
> 
> Without further ado, here's chapter 16! Hope you guys like it!

The days melted into each other as summer sped by them, and before they knew it, the Queen’s entrance exam was looming in all of their futures. In between their frantic preparation for the exams and working on the paper, Anne had somehow successfully managed to avoid her friend’s prodding about the finer details of her relationship, but two days before their entrance exams, her luck finally ran out. She should have known that it was coming, and really she should have known better than to invite all of the girls over for last-minute studying. She really had been intent on reviewing, but when she finally settled on the floor of her room and pulled out her book to study, she looked up to find all of her friends staring at her expectantly. 

“What?” She said, a hint of dread in her voice as she asked the question. 

“Don’t play dumb, we want to know about you and Gilbert,” Josie said, and as if they had rehearsed it, all five girls leaned in ever so slightly closer to her. 

“ _ Everything  _ about you and Gilbert _ ,” _ Jane emphasized. 

Anne blushed. Sure, there was a lot she could tell them about. Truly, most of their interactions were innocent, like when he walked her home from study group or sat beside her in church, but there were also times where Gilbert would pull her off of the path on their walks, push her against a tree and kiss her silly. She blushed, looking down at her study book before sighing and sliding it out of the way. 

“Well, he walks me home most days,” She said. “And we’ve gone on a few picnics, Diana has chaperoned for us and it’s always a lovely time.” 

“And then after we eat, I go for a walk and leave you and Gilbert alone for a little while,” Diana said, a mischievous smile on her face. With the new morsel of knowledge, the other girls started shrieking, and Anne hurried to shush them, not wanting to attract any unwanted attention. 

“What do you do when you’re alone?” Tillie asked with a scandalized tone. “And don’t lie, we know you’ve already kissed him.” 

“Are his lips truly as soft as they look?” Ruby asked, having moved on and come to terms with the situation over the past weeks. Anne bit her lip, thinking about just how soft his lips felt against hers and knowing she would only embarrass herself if she said anything, she simply nodded, sending her friends into another fit of shrieks and giggles. 

“Oh how I wish to be kissed.” Ruby sighed wistfully, setting her chin in her hand. 

“Don’t worry, Ruby. Soon we’ll be off to Queen’s and you all will be surrounded by beau’s tripping over themselves to court you. Plus, who really wants to end up with one of the boys here? We’ve seen them be absolute rock heads, at least with Queens boys, we will have the fortune of not seeing them at their worst and most idiotic.” Anne said with a giggle. The girls nodded in agreement, except for Diana, who was still battling with her parents about finishing school. Anne’s heart hurt for her bosom friend, and she reached out and took her hand, squeezing it gently. Diana squeezed back, giving her a small smile to reassure her that she was alright. 

“Alright, but back to you and Gilbert,” Tillie said, bringing the group back to the subject of all of their curiosity. “Is he a good kisser?” 

Anne sputtered at the question, why must she have to endure the embarrassing interrogation? “Well, I don’t know. I’ve never kissed anyone else, so it’s not like I have anything to compare it to. But I do like it when he kisses me, is that an acceptable answer?” 

The girls nodded, tittering with laughter as Anne rolled her eyes. She couldn’t wait until one of them had a beau, so that she could reciprocate the torment. 

“So, like, other than kissing… you two haven’t, you know,  _ done _ anything, right?” Josie asked, a mischievous look in her eye, like she was really digging for information. 

Anne gasped at her question, her jaw dropping as the other girls blushed, looking at her expectantly. “Of course not! We’ve only ever kissed, I swear it! We’ve only been courting for a few weeks, and kissing is likely all we will _ever_ do because the method of reproduction is absolutely heinous.” She huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest. Her heart stopped a moment later when she found all of her friends staring at her, mouths gaping wide in shock, and she wished she could pluck her words out of the air and put them back in her mouth. 

“Anne,” Diana, the first one to break out of her shocked stupor, said slowly. “Do you know how it happens?” 

She wanted to lie, she wanted to lie and say that she only knew what she saw from the Hammonds, but what actually came out of her mouth was, “Yes.” 

Their circle seemed to get impossibly smaller as the girls scooted in towards her, their curiosity piqued. They looked at her expectantly, as if she were going to divulge the forbidden knowledge that she was in possession of. 

“I’m not going to tell you if that’s what you’re waiting for.” She said bluntly, and all of them gave her irritated and deflated looks as they leaned backward, groaning in exasperation. 

“Why not?” Jane asked with a huff. 

“Because if your parents find out that you know, it will somehow work its way back to me, I’ll be labeled a harlot and Matthew and Marilla’s reputation will be tarnished. I only know because I begged Marilla to tell me, but everyone will assume I know because I’ve done it, and won’t believe anything else even if it's the truth. Don’t you remember what happened after the pet mouse incident with Prissy and Mr. Philips? If you truly want to know, you’ll have to ask your mothers, like I did. Trust me, it is truly a unique conversation and I would hate to deprive you of it.” She said. 

“Oh, but Anne, you have to tell us!” Diana begged, but she shook her head firmly. 

“No, I will never tell you as long as there are gossips in Avonlea.” She swore, sticking her chin into the air and crossing her heart to prove her seriousness. Her friends groaned again at her refusal, but they all stopped when Ruby perked up. 

“Well what about when we aren’t in Avonlea?” She said, and Anne could practically see the cogs turning in the other girl’s heads. Everything seemed to click into place, and Anne wished she had thought about her words more carefully when all of her friends practically squealed- “Queens!” 

“No!” Anne said, kicking herself for creating such a loophole. “Not even then! I am not telling you!” 

“If we learn of such things while we’re away at school, we can simply blame it on older students!” Tillie said. “No one would ever have to know who  _ actually _ told us.” 

Anne thought about it for a moment. They did have a point, if she were to tell them once they were at school, they could simply blame Charlottetown for the indiscretion if their parents ever were to find out. Plus, if her friends were to get beaus once they began at Queens, it was only fair to them that they are educated, lest they be taken advantage of because of their naivety. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that she would be utterly destroyed if something happened to one of the girls that could have been prevented if she had only told them. 

“Alright,” She relented, earning a squeal of delight from all of her friends. She wanted to laugh in their faces, they were excited to learn, as she had been. But she knew that they would be in for a rude awakening when she told them the truth. “But, I will not say a peep until we are tucked away safely in Queens. Agreed? Until then, everyone should pretend like we are all completely and totally ignorant on the topic.” 

She stuck her pinky out and waited for her friends to join her in their promise to stay silent, and with pinkies interlocked and vows made, Anne tucked the knowledge away to the back of her mind. She would worry about that again once they were at Queens. For now, she had more important matters to attend to. 

Like actually getting in. 

When the morning of the entrance exam came around, all thoughts of beaus and reproduction were long gone as they frantically reviewed everything they had learned, trying to cram as much last-minute studying as they could before the test began. The weight of the event sat heavy on their shoulders, and even Anne, who had studied for hours upon hours, still paced back and forth murmuring facts to herself. 

Gilbert, on the other hand, was leaning casually against the building, watching her with a small grin. 

“You’re going to do fine,” he said when she got closer to him. She stopped for a moment, gave him a weak glare, then turned on her heel to continue her pacing. He waited patiently until she paced back over to him before speaking again. “I don’t understand why you’re so nervous.” 

“Because!” She exclaimed, causing a few of their classmates to turn away from their own studying to find the source of the outburst. When they saw that it was Anne, yelling at Gilbert, they turned back to their work. 

“Because?” He parroted, raising an eyebrow. Anne groaned, shoving him gently. 

“Because my whole future is dependent on how I do on this test! What if I don’t make it in?” She said with a sigh, worry written all over her face. Gilbert held back the urge to roll his eyes and wanted nothing more than to pull his sweetheart in for an embrace, but there were too many eyes for him to risk something so bold, so he settled for taking his hand in hers. He squeezed her fingers gently before bringing them up to his lips, kissing her knuckles lightly before dropping her hand. 

“You’ve studied more than anyone here, and you’ve always been at the top of our class. Well, second to me, of course.” he teased, earning another shove from her. He chuckled, reaching out to tug gently on one of her braids. “Queens would be foolish to not let you in. The only thing you should worry about is making a better score than me.” 

She smiled softly up at him, sticking her tongue out at his teasing. Before she could say anything, Diana came bounding up the road to them, breathing heavily. At the sight of her bosom friend, Anne tore away from him to see what she was there for. 

“I’m taking the exam,” Diana said, a beaming smile on her face. Anne squealed happily, hugging Diana tightly at the thought of her friend going to Queens with her. Gilbert knew even before he had started courting Anne that the thought of Diana moving to Paris devastated her, and the closer they got to September, the more upset she became. They had talked about it a few times, but he had started to refrain from bringing it up as her distress grew. Diana was her first, and dearest, friend in Avonlea and the thought of being an ocean away from her weighed heavy on Anne’s heart. 

With that in mind, he also knew that the closer they got to September, that he was going to have to have a conversation with her that he was dreading. He was taking the entrance exam for Queens, and would more than likely get in, but he knew in his heart that Queens wasn’t where he wanted to be come fall. It was a good school, but in terms of what he wanted for his career… he wasn’t sure that the small school could do more than secure him a spot as a country doctor. While he wasn’t looking down upon the hard work that came with being a small town doctor, he also knew he wanted more. He had spoken to Ms.Stacy about it privately, not wanting to tell anyone his thoughts out of fear that he would cause undue stress if it fell through, and he was excited about what his teacher had told him. She had mentioned that she held some connections at the University of Toronto, and that she would see what she could do. As the days passed though, the idea was becoming more and more appealing to him, and his hopes of attending U of T were becoming increasingly greater.

But how to tell Anne that? Toronto was practically a world away from Charlottetown, it wouldn’t be easy or cheap to visit her often, and they would have to go years communicating by letters, relying on a few scare visits throughout the year to see each other face to face. Could he really do that to her? He had thought about proposing, if they were married she could come with him, but would she agree to that? They had only been together for a short time and were still figuring out the intricacies of their relationship, were they truly ready to jump into marriage? It didn’t seem fair to her, but it also didn’t seem fair to be separated for so long. She would be tied down to him, hundreds of miles away, while all of her friends courted and went to balls and picnics and plays with their beaus. He wouldn’t be able to offer any of that to her. He was at a complete loss of what to do, and it seemed like no matter what, he was going to hurt her if he went away for school. 

“Gil?” Anne said, tearing him from his thoughts. “You looked like you were on another planet just then, are you alright?” 

He forced a smile, reaching up to brush his thumb over her cheek gently. “Just more nervous than I thought, I suppose.” He said, hoping she wouldn’t see through his fib. 

“All you have to worry about is making a better score than me.” She said cheekily, throwing his words from earlier back at him as she pressed up onto her toes to quickly kiss his cheek. “Now, come on, the exam is about to start.” 

With that she went into the church, and he noticed that he had been so lost in his thoughts that everyone else had already gone inside, and he sighed, pushing thoughts of college and courting to the back of his mind. He would worry about that later, but for now, the exam was the most important obstacle in his way. 

_____________________

“We did it!” Anne screamed as they all ran to the ruins, tossing down their blankets and lanterns into the dirt. All of them were giddy with excitement, truly stress free for the first time in months with the entrance exam finally out of the way. Anne pulled off her hat, throwing it up into the air as high as she could. “Graduation!” 

Her friends followed suit, tossing their hats as they cheered and whooped, and Anne couldn’t help but laugh as Gilbert swept her up into his arms, twirling her around twice before setting her feet on the ground, tipping her backwards, and kissing her firmly on the lips. 

She was blushing when he pulled away, giving her a wink before standing her up straight as their friends catcalled and whooped at Gilbert’s bold move. 

“I’ve got the shine!” Paul yelled, pulling out a large bottle filled with clear liquid from his bag. Diana took it from his hands, pulling the cork out and tossing it carelessly behind her. 

“Me first!” She said, putting the bottle to her lips and taking a swig. Anne stared on in shock with the rest of her friends as she drank, face twisting in disgust as she swallowed. They cheered nonetheless, passing the bottle around as they all took drinks, all gagging and complaining about the taste. The boys got the bottle after them, all trying (and failing) to not make a face from the hash flavor as they drank. 

The hours seemed to blend together after that as they played games and found some way to incorporate the moonshine into every game. They played hide and seek, and the first one found had to drink. After that was tag, which was chaos as the person who was it had to drink when they were tagged, and had to run around with the bottle in their hand in order to pass it on to the next person (this ended when they spilled too much and had to stop playing in order to save the shine). 

Anne’s personal favorite was the spelling bee. It was her suggestion, and everyone agreed to a calmer game after running around for so long. She smiled as they spread out their blankets, kicking off their shoes as they sat in a circle. It went about as good as they expected it to, with most people getting out quickly and having to drink (even though at that point, they were all good and tipsy, and would drink from the bottle even when they weren’t required to). Unsurprisingly, she and Gilbert were the last two, sitting cross legged facing each other, knees touching as they went head to head. Their friends had lost interest after the game went on too long and resorted to them passing the bottle around as they laid around on the blankets, idly watching the two battle for bragging rights. 

“Boisterous.” Anne said, eyes blazing as she stared Gilbert down. He looked very handsome, practically glowing in the golden light that had surrounded them as the afternoon wore on. His hair was mussed up from running around and his cheeks were flushed pink from the shine, and part of her wanted to lean forward and kiss the daylights out of him. If it weren’t for her desire to absolutely destroy him at the spelling bee, she knew that the alcohol flowing through her system had lowered her inhibitions enough that she would do it, friends and propriety be damned. 

“B-O-I-S-T-E-R-O-U-S. Boisterous.” He said, and Anne huffed. Damn it. He smirked at her reaction, knowing that he was correct. 

She rolled her eyes and leaned forward, mind swimming with potential words to give him that would make him lose while she waited for his word. 

He gave her a cocky grin after a moment of thinking, lifting his chin slightly as he said, “ Hydropericardium .” 

“Excuse me?” Anne said in disbelief. 

“ Hydropericardium . Do you have it, or would you like me to say it again?” Gilbert said smugly, and she had to fight the urge to slap the look off of his face. 

“I have never heard of that before in my life! That’s not fair, you aren’t allowed to pick words from your medical books!” She shouted, pointing a finger at his chest. He just shrugged, a victorious look on his face. 

“So are you admitting defeat?” He asked, turning around and reaching for the moonshine bottle. He held it in front of her, shaking the bottle slightly to taunt her further. She groaned, slapping his hand out of the way. There was no way she could get the word correct, she didn’t even have the first clue as to what the word even meant, but she refused to go down without a fight. 

“H-Y-D-R-O-P-E-R-E-” Anne spelled hesitantly, pausing after every letter to think through the word as she sounded it out in her head. She nearly swore when Gilbert announced that she was wrong, and she nearly screamed as she pulled the bottle from her beau’s hands, taking a long drink.

The loss tasted more bitter than the shine did. 

“Looks like I finally beat you fair and square.” Gilbert said when she finished drinking, taking the bottle from her to take a sip of his own. 

“I’d hardly say it was fair.” She huffed, and he only chuckled, leaning forward to kiss her forehead. She didn’t lean away from the affection, but it did nothing to take the glare off of her face. 

“Alright, enough of the weird lovey dovey academic tension over there! Gilbert, come help with the fire!” Moody said, and with that Gilbert got up from the blanket, giving her a wink as he joined the other boys. Anne was still pouting over her loss when her friends grouped around her, all red faced and giggly with drunkenness. 

“That was the most intense thing I have ever seen.” Diana said, fanning herself lightly with her hand for emphasis. Anne rolled her eyes, leaning over to put her head in Diana’s lap. Her friend giggled at her foul mood and pulled the strings from her braids- or string really, she had lost the other one without realizing it at some point in the afternoon, so her left braid had slowly been unraveling over the course of the afternoon. She began to run her fingers through her hair, and Anne closed her eyes as she let the calming sensation take over her. 

“Have you girls ever noticed how handsome Moody is?” Ruby said with a wistful sigh, and Anne laughed lightly as she opened one eye to look at Ruby. She was laying on her stomach on the blanket, feet crossed at the ankle in the air. 

“It’s  _ Moody.”  _ Josie said, saying his name as if someone had offered her a mud pie, swaying slightly as she pulled some grass up and threw it at Ruby. 

“Well you seem to have moved on mighty fast, Miss Gillis.” Tillie teased as the other girls tittered around her. 

“He’s very nice and comes from a good, respectable family.” Ruby defended, turning her nose up into the air, only to lose her balance and fall over. 

They all laughed at that, their drunken giggles floating up into the warm, summer air. Anne sighed happily, closing her eyes and leaning into Diana’s soft touch. She wished she could stop everything and live forever in the moment that she was in. Her body was warm and buzzing from the moonshine, she had her best friends around her, her beau only a few feet away, and the rest of her life in front of her. 

Everything was absolutely perfect.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading! Chapter 17 is done and will probably be posted sometime tomorrow afternoon, so keep your eyes peeled, it's definitely a fun one ;) (and just to emphasize it, ;) ) Feel free to leave a comment, if you'd like! I literally live to see your kind words, hahaha. See you all next time!


	17. Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drunken shenanigans continue. Gilbert teaches Anne more about herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cracks knuckles* 
> 
> Let's earn our rating, boys. 
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains sexual/mature content, if you would like to skip it, it begins after the paragraph that ends with "Anne leaned her head on Gilbert’s shoulder, drinking in the moment." and ends after the page break (I will warn you though, it makes up about 90% of the chapter.)

As the night went on and the world grew dark, the drunken debauchery of the Avonlea schoolchildren grew with it. In reality, there was no true debauchery as the adolescents sang and danced around the fire, laughing with carefree joy as they stepped into a new chapter of their lives. If anything, the most scandalous thing that occured (besides the drunkenness) was the hand holding in red rover, with certain boys trying to be next to certain girls in order that they might hold hands, if even for a moment. It was hard to say what time it was when the fire was finally reduced to embers, and the party winded down. The moonshine bottle was long empty and forgotten, lying solemnly on its side by the remnants of the fire as the group dispersed, stumbling off in groups of twos or threes into the night. 

It went unsaid that Gilbert would be ensuring Anne’s safe arrival home, and he took her hand in his, intertwining their fingers as they bid their friends a goodnight as they set off blissfully alone into the woods. They were both stumbling slightly as they walked, bodies warm and loose from drink as they giggled and zig-zagged down the lane towards Green Gables. 

“Imagine the scolding I would get if Marilla were to see me now!” She giggled, cheeks red and practically glowing in the moonlight. Gilbert chuckled, looking down at her. 

“I suppose if anything, Bash will ensure to be extra loud around me in the morning. You’ll need to drink lots of water before you go to bed, or else your head is going to hurt like hell in the morning.” He said, his drunkenness causing him to curse where he would usually hold his tongue in front of her. She quite liked the sound of the word coming out of his mouth, and she drew him in closer to her, wrapping his arm around her waist. He didn’t say anything at her boldness, and gently squeezed her hip as she wrapped her arm around his waist in return. 

They walked in silence for a few minutes, pressed nearly hip to hip as they listened to owls hoot and bug buzz about in the night. Anne leaned her head on Gilbert’s shoulder, drinking in the moment. 

“Gilbert,” She said after a moment, her inebriated state keeping her from truly thinking about her words before saying them. When she thought back on it later, the moonshine was the only way she could explain her bold behavior in the conversation and events that followed. “Would you leave me if I told you that I never want to have intercourse?” 

Gilbert stopped in his tracks when she said that, turning around to look at her with an eyebrow raised at her questionably. “And where is all this coming from?” 

Anne chewed on her bottom lip nervously, thinking about her talk with Marilla a few weeks prior, and her failed experiment touching herself. Normally, she would never admit such a thing out loud to anyone, especially Gilbert, but her loose lips betrayed her again.

“Well, you see,” she started. “After Marilla’s talk the other week, and then our talk after, I thought I might try and see what it would feel like to have… you know…  _ it”  _ she gestured to his crotch, just in case he didn’t understand what she was referring to, “...inside of me, so I tried used my finger, a-and it hurt so badly that I couldn’t even get the tip of my finger in! Now, I know I didn’t truly see much of anything, but I definitely saw  _ something  _ that day in your barn, and I know that  _ it _ has to be much larger than my finger, and I can not imagine the agony of that having to go into my most sensitive and fragile of areas, so I think I will just need to live a life of chastity. I understand if you can not live with that, and I will only cry and mourn in the comfort and safety of my gable room for the remainder of my days. I promise I will not make a fuss when I see you in public.” 

After she finished her spiel, she looked up at Gilbert, finding a strange mix of confusion, astonishment, and amusement on his face. He looked around, even though there wasn’t likely to be anyone around them at that time of night, but having determined that the coast was clear, Gilbert took her hand and pulled her off of the path and into the woods. They stayed fairly close to the path, only far enough that should someone happen to go by, they wouldn’t be any the wiser that they were there. 

“Anne,” He said when he stopped, and she leaned back against a tree, watching him in the bright light of the full moon. He opened his mouth as if he were going to continue, but before he could he closed his mouth and leaned in, cupping her face with both of his hands as he kissed her deeply, the taste of moonshine still lingering on his lips. She kissed back, mind switching easily from her rantings about intercourse as she lost herself in his kiss. She wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him in close to her as she nibbled at his lip. He moaned quietly into her mouth, tangling one hand into the hair at the nape of her neck as he kissed her more fervently. 

Anne’s knees went weak when he dragged his lips away from hers, blazing a trail across her cheek and to her neck. 

_ Oh,  _ she thought.  _ This is new.  _

The feeling of his lips, teeth, and tongue on her neck was heavenly, and she found herself clutching the fabric of his vest in her fists as she panted and moaned into the night air. Her whole body was singing, a hot, smoldering fire burning low in her belly that was demanding to be fed more and more. 

“Tell me, Anne-girl,” Gilbert whispered against her skin. “When you tried to touch yourself, were you ready?” 

Anne furrowed her eyebrows, trying to think straight as he continued his assault on the skin of her neck, his hand running up and down her side, which only served to distract her more. 

“What do you mean?” She gasped, and he moved back to her lips, kissing her selfishly for a few minutes, his tongue meeting hers boldly as she hummed. 

_ That’s new as well _ , she thought again.  _ Not quite sure how much I like this though. Quite strange. _

“How did it feel?” He asked against her lips, groaning quietly when her hand dipped down his lower back to ghost over his rear. “Was it wet? Dry? It’s important.” 

Still confused at what he meant, Anne thought back to the day as best she could while Gilbert leaned down to kiss down the other side of her neck. 

“Dry as a bone,” She said after a few minutes of blissful distraction, breathing hard as she leaned her head back against the tree to give Gilbert more room. “But I don’t understand why it matters.” 

He hummed against her skin, kissing up the column of her throat, but denying her a kiss on her lips that she so desperately craved, instead he simply leaned his forehead against hers. 

“Do you remember the steps that I told you about?” He said, and she nodded. He nodded back, finally leaning in to give her a quick kiss. “You skipped one.” 

“Well that’s ridiculous!” Anne exclaimed, and Gilbert took a step back at her outburst. “How could I have skipped a step when I didn’t even know that I was skipping it!” 

Gilbert just chuckled, stepping back in to give her a lingering kiss. “If you’ll allow it, I can tell you.” 

“Please,” She practically begged, her thirst for knowledge insatiable. “I hate the idea of losing you because I fear intimacy. If there is any way the act can be somewhat bearable, I’d very much like to know.” 

Gilbert laughed louder then, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. 

“There’s no way you’re going to lose me, and I think once you realize a few things, that your attitude on the matter will be very much changed.” He said confidently, leaning in to kiss her again. A moment later he pulled away, but just slightly. “And I’m only telling you this because I’m a little too drunk to be embarrassed, alright?” 

She giggled, kissing the tip of his nose. “Alright.” 

He smiled, kissing her firmly once before trailing his lips back down to her neck, kissing her jaw slowly before moving up to her ear, nibbling gently on her earlobe. 

“Our bodies are smart,” he said, voice husky and low as he pulled her close. “When there is stimulation-” He punctuated the word with a small bite to the sensitive skin below her ear, making her knees buckle as his hands tightened around her waist. “Our bodies prepare for sex, or intercourse. For men, we get hard-” when he said that he boldly rolled his hips against her, and she gasped at the feeling of the firm bulge against her thigh. How in the world did he expect her to be able to take  _ that _ ? 

“And for women?” She asked, voice trembling. At that he chuckled, kissing her on the mouth in lieu of an answer. 

“I think showing is better than telling in this circumstance, wouldn’t you agree?” He said cheekily. And her heart nearly stopped in her chest. She nodded as her desire to know how her own body worked grew stronger than her fear. With her consent given, Gilbert adjusted their position, placing one of his legs in between hers as his hands brushed over her hips. “Do you trust me?” He asked, and she nodded. Even with alcohol fogging her mind and judgement, she still knew that for certain. 

His hands grasped her hips as he drew the two of them close so their bodies were completely pressed together. He kissed her then, one hand moving back to her hair as the other squeezed her hip, curving around the edge of it to grasp her bottom through her dress. She gasped into his mouth at the touch, hooking her ankle around the back of his calf to press him closer. There was a pressure in between her hips, one that she had been noticing more and more whenever Gilbert and her kissed, but it was almost painful now. 

“G-Gilbert-” She gasped, knowing that she needed more, but not knowing how to get it. 

“Tell me,” He said, biting down on her lower lip firmly before running his tongue over it to soothe the sting. “Tell me what you’re feeling.” 

“It’s like there is pressure… down  _ there. _ ” She told him, and he smirked against her mouth. 

“Good.” 

Using his grip on her backside, he slowly guided her hips to rock against the leg that was between hers, and she nearly cried with relief at the sensations that ran through every nerve in her body. He did it again, and she clutched the fabric of his vest in her hands, throwing her head back against the tree. 

“Feel good?” He asked, and for the first time in her life, she was at a loss for words as her hips began moving on their own accord, rocking and moving against his leg as he kissed her neck and ran his hands over her body. His hands brushed up and down her sides, stopping at the top as his thumbs brushed against the undersides of her breasts. He didn’t even have to ask for her permission before she was giving it to him, wanting, no-  _ needing,  _ more. She drew her leg up higher, hitching her leg over his hips as the pressure and tension grew within her. The sensations were overwhelming her. His lips on her neck, one hand tugging on her hair, the other kneading and squeezing her breast, his leg pressed up against her creating the most beautiful friction… 

“Something’s happening,” She said as the tension within her grew, her voice tinged with fear as her movement faltered. 

“Don’t be scared,” Gilbert said huskily against the skin of her throat, words slurring slightly, and she wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or lust that was coursing through their veins. She decided that she didn’t care which it was at the moment. “It’s a good thing.” 

She nodded, running her fingers through his hair and using the purchase to bring his mouth back to hers as she rocked against him firmly. The pressure only continued to grow, and she squeezed her eyes shut as she dropped her leg from around his waist, twisting her hips slightly to pull him between her legs, wanting to feel it,  _ him _ , against the place that was bringing her such pleasure. 

“Fuck,” Gilbert groaned as he rocked into her. Her whole body grew even warmer at the dirty word, and she took it as encouragement as she rocked her hips in tandem with his. Her whole body was tight, filled with a tension that she didn’t know the name for, and just when it felt like she would implode from it, everything snapped. 

White hot pleasure rushed over her as her knees went weak, and Gilbert had to quickly put his arms underneath her to hold her up as they continued rocking together, Anne gasping into the night air as her whole body trembled, silent cries of  _ oh, oh, oh _ leaving her lips as she clutched the fabric of her beloved’s shirt as if it were the only thing anchoring her to that world. She heard him moan quietly into the night, his hips going still against hers as he buried his head into her shoulder, biting down gently to keep himself quiet. 

It seemed like a small eternity passed as the two young lovers stood trembling in each other’s arms, until finally Anne leaned her head back against the tree, looking up at Gilbert through heavy lidded eyes. 

“What,” She panted. “On  _ earth _ , was that?” 

Gilbert chuckled against her shoulder, kissing her sweetly there before pulling away to stroke her face softly. “Something that I intend to lavish upon you frequently and fervently.” 

Anne giggled, face flushing at the thought of experiencing that feeling again. 

“Now,” he said, voice low as he kissed her forehead. “Touch yourself and tell me if anything is different than the time you tried.” 

Anne felt her face grow hot at his bold request, and she looked up at him scandalized, even after all they had just done. He laughed at her modesty, but took a step back. 

“I can turn around, if you’d like me to.” He said, and shook her head, instead pulling her close so that they stood chest to chest. She kept her eyes locked with his as she slid her trembling hand underneath her dress and into her drawers, tentatively touching between her legs. A gasp escaped her at her discovery, and while the first time she had found herself dry as a bone, now she was very much not. 

“W-what is that?” She asked as her fingers slid over the hot, tender flesh between her legs. There was practically no resistance when she prodded at her entrance, and she gasped again when her finger slid inside with ease. She pulled it out quickly, holding her hand up to the moonlight to inspect her new discovery. 

“That,” Gilbert said with a very cheeky and extremely satisfied smile on his face, “Is what’s going to change your mind.” 

_____________________

The next morning, Gilbert didn’t even try to hide his satisfaction from the night before as he sauntered into the kitchen, placing a kiss onto Delphine’s head as he dropped into his seat, leaning back in it casually and grabbing his plate to begin eating as he thought back to the night before. Bash eyed him curiously, but hardly two seconds had passed before he groaned, putting his elbows on the table and hiding his face in his hands. 

“What!” Gilbert said with a laugh, throwing his hands into the air. “I didn’t even say anything!” 

“You don’t have to.” Bash said, peeking through his fingers to glance at him with wary eyes. “I’m a man, I know that dumb look. And I know what dumb things gotta happen to get that dumb look.” 

Gilbert just took a triumphant bite out of his toast, not even guilty or ashamed at his brother’s ribbing. Nothing could kill his mood. Before either of them could say anything else, Hazel walked into the room, giving him a kind smile. 

“Morning, Mr. Blythe.” She said. “Are you done in your room for the morning? I’m going to clean and do the laundry.” 

He nodded once, giving her permission. Just as soon as he had given it though, he thought back to the events of the night before and the pants and drawers of his that he certainly didn’t want Hazel to find. 

“Wait!” He said, standing up quickly. “You don’t have to do that.” 

She raised an eyebrow at him. “Then who will do your laundry? I know how you boys are, I’m sure you’ve been wearing dirty clothes for days now.” 

Gilbert’s mind was racing, anything to keep her from getting her hands on his clothes. “You can do them later, b-but I have to go to a meeting for the paper this morning, a-and I need a letter delivered to Green Gables. It’s very urgent, and I need for you to take it straight away.” 

Hazel gave him a look that showed that she definitely wasn’t buying whatever foolishness he was trying to sell to her, but she simply shrugged. 

“Alright, I’ll get my things. I might as well take Delphine with me, I’m sure Marilla would care to see her.” She said, giving him one last strange look before leaving the kitchen. Gilbert quickly got a piece of paper and a pencil, scribbling out a note to Anne. He tucked it away in an envelope, sealing it with wax to ensure that Hazel wouldn’t get too nosy, before passing it off to the woman before she headed on her way. 

When she was finally gone he relaxed at the table, closing his eyes as his heart pounded in his chest. 

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but you don’t have the paper today.” Bash said casually from across the table. Gilbert looked up at him, shooting him a dirty look. The man only held his hands up innocently. “Forgive me, I’m not the one who sent the woman on a goose chase.” 

“If you’ll excuse me,” Gilbert said as he stood, rolling his eyes and picking up his plate. “I have some laundry to do.” 

Bash laughed, standing up to put his plate in the basin as well. “Why? Got some curious stains you don’t want my mother seeing?” 

The younger man didn’t dignify the comment with a response, but the punch to the stomach Bash received as he stalked out of the kitchen answered him loud and clear. 

Gilbert could still hear him laughing, even after his bedroom door was slammed shut. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is one of my first times writing anything as ~steamy~ as this, so I hope it wasn't total trash and met everyone's expectations. Thanks for reading, and I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy! See y'all next time!


	18. Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne and Gilbert think about the night before, Gilbert gets some news

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Saturday, have an update! This chapter was honestly sooo hard to write, because I got an idea in my head for another fic yesterday and couldn't get it out of my head, so I spent a lot of time fleshing that out instead of writing this chapter lol. I probably won't start posting it until this fic is over (or I might divide my time between both???) but I'm really enjoying writing it so far. 
> 
> CW: vomit mention about half way through the chapter 
> 
> Anyways, enjoy the chapter!

Anne woke up with a dreadful headache and a loud knock on her door from Marilla, which startled her so badly she almost fell out of bed. Her head was swimming, and her whole body felt heavy. Despite Gilbert’s instructions to drink water before going to bed for the night, she had practically fallen straight into bed once she had reached home, only taking the time to strip out of her clothes and into her nightgown before succumbing to sleep. She hoped Marilla would take pity on her and let her go back to bed after breakfast and chores, and she held onto that hope as she pulled herself from bed, running a brush through her hair and draping a light cardigan over her nightgown as she left her room. Her mouth tasted absolutely foul from the moonshine, and she hoped she didn’t smell too awful and arouse suspicion. Still, even though she felt wretched, her heart still felt light as she replayed the events of the day before in her mind. 

She shivered with delight as she thought back to the feelings and sensations she had experienced the night before, the way Gilbert held her close, their bodies rocking together in tandem, climbing the tower of pleasure higher and higher till they both crested the peak, shattering into a thousand shards of bliss in each other’s arms. Gilbert had told her as they walked home, both walking a little stiff and awkward from their coupling (her legs didn’t stop shaking until after she had got into bed, and even then they still felt heavy and cumbersome), that intercourse- or sex, as Gilbert had called it- was similar to what they had done, except without clothes separating them and with actual penetration. She shivered again as she thought of the word. While the concept was absolutely vexing at first, after what they had done she was sure that she would be able to work her way up to it. If it felt anything like what had transpired against that poor, unsuspecting tree, she was sure she would enjoy it. Now she understood why no one talked about it until they were married. It was an addicting feeling, and Anne found herself feeling warm and curious as to when she could get Gilbert alone again. 

“Good morning, Anne,” Marilla said as she descended the stairs. Anne smiled, hoping she looked somewhat composed as she began to set the table. 

“Good morning Marilla.” She said, putting a pleasant smile on her face. 

Thankfully, the pleasantries were enough to satisfy her guardian, and they lapsed into silence as they went about setting the breakfast table. Matthew and Jerry joined them just as they set the food on the table, washing up from their morning chores before sitting down to eat. She had no choice but to talk during breakfast, even though all she wanted to do was go back upstairs and slip into a hibernation-like slumber for the rest of the day, but she had not seen her family since before the exam the day before and was questioned relentlessly about how it had gone. 

When they had all ( _ finally)  _ finished eating, Anne made quick work of cleaning up, and Marilla gave her a quizzical look. Before she could question her strange behavior, a knock on the door stole her attention away. Anne hardly paid attention to their guest, assuming it was Rachel ready to gossip about something or other as she continued to do the dishes. She was proven wrong shortly after making her prediction, when she glanced up and saw Hazel Lacroix at the door, Delphine in her arms. 

“Good morning, Hazel,” Marilla said kindly, stepping back to invite her in. “What a surprise, what brings you here so early this morning?” 

Hazel gave Marilla a small nod as she entered, passing the baby off to Marilla before taking a letter out of her pocket and extending it out to Anne. 

“Got a letter for Miss Shirley,” She explained in her regular no-nonsense tone. “Mr. Blythe was all uppity about it this morning, insisting that I deliver it right away and that it was most urgent.” 

Anne looked at the envelope in her hands and wiped her hands on her nightgown to dry them before taking the letter from the older woman’s hand. 

“And if you don’t mind me being so bold, shouldn’t you be leaving for the paper meeting Gilbert was going on about? You aren’t even dressed, child!” She asked, raising an eyebrow at her. Anne still didn’t feel well, and her head only began to pound more fiercely as she struggled to piece together what was going on.   
“Paper meeting?” She said, furrowing her eyebrow as she looked dumbly down at the paper, flipping it over and breaking the wax seal. “There’s no…” She murmured as she read the message quickly. 

_ My dearest Anne,  _

_ Please excuse this hasty message. It is but a diversion so that I might hide evidence from last night, please play along as best you can, Anne-girl. Also, if I could be so bold, you looked beautiful last night.  _

_ With love,  _

_ Gilbert  _

_ P.S. It is probably best that you burn this letter at your earliest opportunity. _

“The paper meeting!” Anne practically shouted, slapping a hand to her forehead as she shoved the letter into the pocket of her cardigan. There wasn’t a meeting at all, she realized that, but she had to cover for Gilbert’s fib, which meant she needed to get out of the house. “I totally forgot! Oh Marilla, I must be off at once, lest I be late-” 

“I’ll finish up with the dishes, you go on.” Marilla excused her with a wave of her hand and an exasperated sigh before turning to the other woman. “Would you care for some tea, Hazel?” 

“You take care of those dishes, I’ll put the kettle on. Heaven knows I need it after managing those two mokes over at my house. Drive me crazy, the both of them.” She tutted, and Anne couldn’t help but giggle as she ran upstairs. She dressed quickly, and attempted to braid her hair, but realized both of her ribbons had fallen victim to her graduation party. She would have to find more later, so instead, she left her hair loose before bounding down the stairs. Her efforts to appear normal and chipper only made her feel sick to her stomach, so she didn’t stop long in the kitchen, simply pressed a kiss to Dellie’s head on her way out, shouting over her shoulder that she’d be back that afternoon. 

She waited until she was hidden away safely in the woods before she dropped her peppy demeanor, supporting herself against a tree as her stomach rolled. She didn’t try to repress the urge to vomit, knowing that it would be better in the end if she just surrendered to it. She kept her grip on the tree as her stomach emptied itself of her breakfast and what must have been the moonshine (which for the record, tasted  _ much  _ worse coming up than it did going down), greedily sucking in the cool morning air as she closed her eyes and tried to steady herself. After a long while, she straightened up, wiping her mouth as she did so. Feeling slightly better, she set off down the path on wobbly legs. She wasn’t quite sure where she was headed as she walked, taking in the calm stillness of the forest as the birds sang their songs over her head. She couldn’t go to Gilbert’s, because he was supposed to be at the “paper meeting”, and she wasn’t sure that she could look him in the eye without blushing fiercely. 

She certainly didn’t regret anything they had done. They laid claim to each other under the light of the moon, their hands blazing new trails as they mapped out the topography of each other's body. She remembered the way Gilbert’s backside had felt under her hand, and she couldn’t help but giggle as she thought of the way he had grunted into her mouth at her touch. She couldn’t wait until the next time they got a moment alone, or at least one where no eyes were on them, because she certainly planned on pinching his bottom, just to get a rise out of him. 

But still, just because she didn’t regret it didn’t mean that she would be able to look at him and not make it painfully obvious that something had transpired between the two of them. She would have to mentally prepare herself before seeing him next, and she would have to pray fervently that God would be kind to her and not let her indiscretions show when she was at church on Sunday.

With Gilbert’s house off of her list, she came to the fork in the road and practically kicked herself. Of course! She had been silly to not think of Diana first, and she idly wondered how her bosom friend was fairing that morning as she set off towards her house. As she walked, she wondered what she would tell her friend. She had been honest about everything in her relationship with Gilbert thus far, and she knew that she had Diana’s confidence, even though she was likely to be scandalized by their wanton acts. Plus, she had to tell someone, or else the information would fester inside of her and she would likely blurt it out at an inopportune time. With her mind made up, she continued her way down the lane to Diana’s house, excitement and nerves twisting in her belly as she went. 

___________________

After cleaning his clothes from the night before, Gilbert decided that some fresh air was in order. He was lucky that he wasn’t feeling terrible after the moonshine, just a bit of dry mouth and a slight headache. It was nothing he hadn’t dealt with before, he and Bash had indulged a little too much sometimes while on the Primrose, so he was no stranger to feeling foul after a night of drinking. All he needed was a good breakfast and some air, and he’d be right as rain by lunchtime. 

He avoided Bash on his way out of the house, not wanting to submit himself to more teasing. It was ironic, for someone who wanted to remain blissfully unaware of what Gilbert was getting up to, Bash sure loved giving him grief when he did get his hands-on information. Thankfully, he was able to sneak past his brother and begin his walk without any unnecessary ribbing, going in the opposite direction of Green Gables, just in case he was to run into Hazel. He hoped Anne was able to keep up the ruse he had so hastily thrown together, but knowing his girl, she had probably taken it in stride. 

He couldn’t help but smile to himself as he thought about Anne. He was truly the luckiest man alive. Somehow he had managed to win the heart of the most beautiful, vivacious, intelligent woman in all of Avonlea. She was quirky, stubborn, and sometimes downright strange, but it all culminated into the most incredible person, with the largest, most genuine heart he had ever known. He sighed, a dopey smile on his face. 

He knew they would have to be careful. They had only been courting for a few weeks and had slipped further into the realm of physical intimacy than he thought they would in such a short time. Not that he was complaining, per se, but he knew they were on a dangerous path. He wasn’t worried about a child, he knew that no matter how many lines they crossed that was one that would remain firm until the day they became man and wife (even though Gilbert wished he could slip his mother’s ring on her finger then and there, and make her his wife before the week was out). What he was worried about was their reputations, especially Anne’s. Even the kissing was too much for the delicate sensibilities of the townsfolk around them, and if they even had an inkling of what they had done the night before, Gilbert would have no other choice but to marry her as quickly as possible to even have a chance of salvaging Anne’s name. He couldn’t do that though, not with their futures at stake. He couldn’t force Anne to be a wife when knowledge was what she desired more than anything at the moment. 

But still, she was absolutely intoxicating. He could have spent hours with her, kissing her senseless and worshipping the long, pale column of her throat, pushing her into the abyss of pleasure over and over again until the sun rose. Her body was meant to be adored, and he vowed to himself that he would make it his life’s mission to wring every ounce of pleasure he could from her. He thought about her confession that she had tried touching herself, and how he had nearly lost his head when the words came out of her mouth. It was surely something that would provide enough fuel for his imagination to get through any lonely nights that he might have for years to come. 

He was so lost in his (extremely lust-filled) thoughts as he walked, that he didn’t hear his name being called the first, second, or third time. He was finally pulled from his mind when a hand tapped his shoulder, and he nearly jumped out of his skin in surprise. 

“Oh!” Ms. Stacy said as he turned on her quickly. “Sorry Gilbert, I didn’t mean to startle you. You must have been very lost in thought.” 

Gilbert chuckled, hoping he wasn’t blushing too terribly as he shrugged. “I suppose you could say that. How do you do?” 

Ms. Stacy smiled at him. “Doing quite well, I was actually on my way to your house, so I’m glad I bumped into you. I’ve received word from my friend in Toronto.” 

At her words, Gilbert’s heart nearly skipped a beat. He hadn’t been expecting a response so quickly. Was he ready for the answer he was about to receive? One on hand, if he was able to get in, he knew he had to take the chance. It was the only way to get him the career he wanted. But as he thought before, could he really bear being so far away from Anne for so long? He knew she would be devastated starting her college years without him or her best friend. Was that fair to her? He wasn’t sure he was ready for any answer at all. 

“Alright then,” Gilbert said nervously, and Ms. Stacy gave him a wide smile. 

“I do believe I have some good news for you.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Come back soon for more of my writing and my excessively long rambling chapter notes because I miss human interaction so I talk into the Void and hope the Void talks back.


	19. Nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gilbert and Anne have a talk, and declarations are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a new chapter! Honestly this chapter was pretty difficult to write, where some chapters just flow and I can finish in one sitting, this one felt like pulling teeth to get done. Either way, I hope you all enjoy it!

Anne and Diana were laying practically nose to nose in the latter’s bed, the brunette’s eyes wide as her best friend finished her tale of the night before. She was speechless for a long while, making Anne giggle as her usually very put together friend stared at her, opening and closing her mouth like a fish out of water. 

“ _ Anne, _ ” Diana finally whispered sharply, burrowing both of them further underneath her duvet, as if the fabric would hold their secrets tightly and keep them safe. “How could you have done that? You could be pregnant!” 

Anne shook her head, rolling her eyes at Diana’s naivety.  _ Really,  _ she thought sourly,  _ We need to start being taught how things like this work. It’d save everyone a world of trouble, I think.  _

“Do you really think that I would do anything that would risk me having a child? I told you, I know how it works, I know what to avoid. What we did brings no risk of conception, ” She explained. Diana gave her a funny look, but then her face softened and she giggled as her curiosity took over. 

“Tell me more, if I’m going to finishing school I won’t be there when you tell the other girls at Queens, and I want to know. Will you please tell me everything now?” 

Anne didn’t hesitate, taking Diana’s hands in hers and first, she prayed that God would ordain Diana to go to Queens so that they might be friends for the rest of their days and not have the pesky matter of distance to worry about. Secondly, she prayed that he would forgive her for the supposed sins she had committed, and asked that he understand that her and Gilbert’s souls were intertwined long before any intimacy between them began. Third, she asked for hers and Diana’s horrible headaches would be taken as a result of all of the moonshine they had drunk the night before. After the prayer, Anne opened her eyes and smiled as she began telling Diana of the matters of reproduction and pleasure. 

It was almost comical how wide Diana’s eyes got when Anne told her of the finer details of the act, and had reacted much the way Anne had, but when she continued and said that with the proper preparation (and when she described the flood of pleasure and ecstasy that she experienced at the end of it all Diana seemed  _ very _ intrigued), it didn’t seem to be all that bad of a prospect, she relaxed slightly. 

“Oh Anne, that all sounds so strange.” Diana sighed, a romantic look in her eyes as she processed what she had just been told. 

“It is, but there was something so rapturously addicting about it all. I think I’m beginning to understand why no one tells us about this, because if we knew, I’m sure all of us would be doing it like fiends!” She admitted, making both of them blush. 

“Well I certainly think I’ll wait until I have someone I love.” Diana said primly, making Anne laugh. 

“Why of course! I don’t suppose I’d like to do it with anyone else but Gilbert. The physical intimacy of our relationship only serves to make the emotional intimacy of it that much greater.” Anne said, practically swooning as she leaned her head on Diana’s shoulder. 

“My, my,” Diana said with a giggle. “Who would have thought the honorable Gilbert Blythe would be such a randy man when know one’s watching.” 

Anne couldn’t help but blush, thinking about just how true her friend’s statement was. 

__________________

On the other side of town, said “randy man” was on the verge of hysteria. His mind was spinning as he tried to process the news Ms. Stacy had given him. On one hand, he had gotten exactly what he wanted. Attending the University of Toronto was his dream, and not only had he been offered a spot, he was also eligible for a very handsome scholarship. With the financial strain out of the equation, Gilbert knew he would be an idiot to turn it down and go to Queens instead. 

But going to U of T meant leaving Anne. They only had a scarce few weeks before term started, and it would be months before he saw her again. He knew that he loved her, that he was destined to spend the rest of his life by her side, but the thought of being so far away from her broke his heart. Still, he tried to remain optimistic as he continued his walk, bidding Ms. Stacy a good day as he went. His head was reeling as he crafted his next step. Telling Bash would be necessary, of course, then securing room and board for when he moved, and getting his affairs in order before he left in just shy of a month. He knew he couldn’t dally in telling Anne about his new plans, it would be cruel to wait any longer than necessary. He would call on her after supper that night, and hope that he didn’t break her heart with his news. 

_________________

One thing that Anne knew she was going to sorely miss when she went to college would be the nights spent around the fire. When all of the work was done for the day, her small family would sit in the parlor, enjoying their time together. Sometimes they played games and were loud and rowdy, but other nights they sat in relative silence, all going about their own business. It was one of those quiet nights, where Marilla and her were doing their needle work, Jerry was reading, and Matthew was puffing on his pipe as he stared pensively into the fire. Anne’s heart was calm and content in that moment, and she couldn’t help but smile bittersweetly at the thought of moments like those coming to an end. 

The silence was broken by a curt knock on the door, and the four of them looked up at each other, silently asking each other if anyone was expecting any visitors. No one spoke up to claim the caller, so Matthew stood and made his way to the door. Anne didn’t turn back to her work, curiosity piqued as she strained to hear who was at the door. When Matthew reappeared, Anne was surprised to see Gilbert in tow, looking quite nervous as he wrung his hat in his hands. 

“Oh, hello.” She said slowly, thankful for the warm glow of the fire that surely was hiding the blush on her cheeks. He gave her a nod before clearing his throat. 

“Good evening, Anne.” He said properly. Why was he so nervous? Had someone found out about what they had done the night before? Before she could speculate more on the subject, he continued. “If it’s alright with Matthew and Marilla, I’d like to speak with you privately for a moment.” 

The redhead looked to her guardians, knowing that the worry that was brewing within her was probably clearly written all over her face. They looked at each other once, then back to her before nodding in permission. 

“You may speak at the kitchen table, but keep the door open.” Marilla said, and the two teenagers nodded as Anne stood and led them to the other room. They settled down on the bench beside each other, knees brushing lightly as they situated themselves.

Anne would be lying to herself if she said that Gilbert’s sudden appearance and urgency to talk privately didn’t make her nervous. She was curious as to what was so pressing that he needed to see her immediately, rather than waiting for church the next day. 

“Is everything alright?” She asked, taking his hands in hers, hoping it would be comforting. Whatever it was that was bringing him distress, she longed to take it away from him. She wanted to cast it out to the darkest reaches of the earth, so that it might never bother him again for as long as he lived. Gilbert sighed, squeezing her hands gently and keeping his gaze away from her as he drummed up the courage to speak. 

“There isn’t an easy way to tell you this,” He started, finally looking up at her, reaching up to gently cup her cheek in his hand. Anne’s heart started to pound, her own fear and nerves building the longer he took. “But I won’t be going to Queens.” 

Confusion hit her first, and she sat up straighter, pulling away from his gentle touch. “Whatever do you mean? We haven’t even gotten the exam results back yet-” 

“I’m not going to Queens because I got into University of Toronto.” Gilbert said quickly, eyes full of panic as he continued, rushing to explain himself. “I was offered a scholarship, and a large one at that. And Ms. Stacy mentioned that I could potentially work under her collegue one day if I do well my first year, and I would be able to save up money-” 

“To start your big, beautiful life away from here.” Anne said softly, her heart falling in her chest as she hung her head. Her mind was spinning, each one of her thoughts fracturing off into thousands of pieces as she struggled to wrap her mind around just how far away he would be when he went off to Toronto. She could just see him in the big city, naturally fitting in wherever he went. In her mind, it was like he was always meant to be there, but also for the life of her, she couldn’t see herself next to him. Instead she saw a beautiful woman, with a full figure and perfectly coiffed blonde hair, a perfect wife perched on his arm. “It’s alright, you don’t have to worry about me. I think I’ll be able to understand with time.”

“Oh, Anne,” Gilbert sighed sadly, lightly grabbing her chin and lifting it so he could look her in the eye. “You misunderstand me. I’m not going to Toronto to get away from you, not at all! U of T has a fantastic medical program that will help prepare me for the career I want, and all of it would be so we can start  _ our  _ big, beautiful life, together. Don’t you see? I love you, Anne, and there is no future for me that doesn’t have you in it.” 

Her heart stopped when the gravity of the words hit her. Of course, she knew how she felt, and how he felt about her. Their love for each other was not something she ever had to wonder about, even when doubt took hold of her and tried to convince her otherwise. They had no reason to say the words themselves until that moment. But they didn’t need words, she saw his love in the way he looked at her, or the way he smiled and listened to her as she rambled on for hours about the most asinine things. She felt his love in the gentle way he held her hand and kissed her when no one else was looking. He showed her that he loved her in the way he empowered her with knowledge about the world and about her own body, putting the reins in her hands in any and all situations, making her feel safe and protected by his body and his mind. 

And now he had said it aloud, and Anne felt as if she might burst. 

She didn’t even realize that she was crying until he gently wiped away a tear that was rolling down her cheek, his dark eyes filled with trepidation as he waited for her to respond. 

“I love you too.” She said, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pulling him into a tight embrace. She cried into his shirt, overwhelmed by all of the emotions that surrounded her. 

“You aren’t cross with me, are you?” Gilbert asked softly into her hair, peppering kisses along the crown of her head as he rubbed her back gently. 

“Of course not.” She chuckled through her tears, pulling away from him as she wiped away her tears. “Yes, I will admit that I am sad you won’t be at Queens at me, and I’ll miss you terribly while you’re away, but I’m also happy for you. I mean, Toronto! That’s incredibly exciting, and the university will be better for having you a part of it.” 

Gilbert gave her a smile then, glancing over his shoulder to ensure that there was no one watching before kissing her firmly, with perhaps a little too much passion while her whole family was sitting only a room away. She hummed into the kiss, daring to nip at his lower lip once before pulling away, not wanting to press their luck (or risk Matthew walking in and having another heart attack). 

“When do you leave?” She asked, staying closer than she should have as she pulled back from the kiss. 

“The same day as you do for Queens. We aren’t losing any time, I promise.” He said, giving her a quizzical look. “You are taking this news exceedingly better than I thought you would.” 

“I have plenty of time to overreact once this settles in a little bit more,” She assured him lightly. “So just you wait. But you’ve just told me you loved me for the first time, so that is currently taking precedence in my mind, and if you wouldn’t mind I think I’d quite like to hear it again.” 

He chuckled, tugging lightly on one of her braids. “I love you, Carrots.” 

She rolled her eyes, swatting his shoulder lightly. “Watch it, there might not be any slates around but I’m sure I could find something else to whack you with.” 

“Oh, is that not romantical enough for you?” He asked, raising an eyebrow in challenge as he wrapped an arm around her waist, twisting himself as he pulled her close so that her back was flush against his chest. Holding her tightly to himself, he began kissing her wherever he could, peppering her cheek and neck with light kisses. She couldn’t help but giggle, playing fighting against his grip, trying not to be too loud so that they didn’t arouse suspicion in the next room. 

“My beautiful, vivacious, exhilarating fun, Anne-girl.” He murmured against her skin, rocking her gently as he spoke. “You are the fond object of my affection and my desire. You and you alone are the keeper of the key to my heart. It always has been, and it always will be, you. My Anne with an ‘e’” 

As he spoke, Anne’s whole body felt warm from head to toe, like she had just slipped in a steaming bath after being in the cold for too long. She wiped away a lingering tear as she turned to look him in the eye, tracing a finger down his strong jaw line. She wished she could take a photograph of him, so that she could hold him forever in her arms and never forget any of the details.  
“My love for you escapes all words that us mere mortals have at our disposal. It is transcendent across the world and universe, and altogether impossible to capture.” She said, kissing him one last time before reluctantly they got up, unfortunately unable to spend any more time together without risking someone coming to check on them.

Gilbert didn’t stay much longer after that, and with a light kiss to her knuckles, he departed them. Anne stood at the door, thinking longingly about the days when she would never have to stay goodbye at night, and instead it would be her that he was coming home to. She sighed wistfully, turning to face the rest of her family. 

“Well, it seems Gilbert is quite taken with you.” Matthew commented as Anne sat down, picking up her needlework even though she knew that her mind would be far too occupied to produce anything even half-decent. Anne simply smiled to herself, nodding as she traced over the hearts she had already stitched. She still had a lot to think about, like how her love would be spending the next few years very far away from her and all of the struggle that might bring, but in that moment she was content in their new declaration for each other. Everything else would come later, but for now, she had the truth that she was irrevocably loved by Gilbert Blythe. 

“I’m surprised he asked to court you,” Jerry said with a chuckle, pulling her from her thoughts as he looked up from his book. “If a girl threw up on me like you did to him, I’m not sure I would’ve been able to look at her again!” 

At his joke, Marilla groaned in exasperation, and Matthew simply buried his head in his hands, trying to hide from the inevitable carnage that was about to ensue. Anne, on the other hand, looked at him as if he had sprouted two heads. 

“Excuse me,” She said slowly, her mind connecting the dots of what he had just said. “I did  _ what _ ?!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Y'alls comments keep me going and semi-sane (because frankly, I lost my sanity about two weeks ago.) And I enjoy hearing what y'all think. Plus, chatting with you guys is better company than what I currently have (which is my cat, who is acting like a total lunatic right now. Someone send help.)


	20. Twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel Lynde shares her mind, Marilla gives a piece of hers, and Anne and Gilbert talk about the future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's an update! Please forgive any errors, it's the pink moscato's fault.

The news of Gilbert going to Toronto broke a few days after his visit to Green Gables, after the rest of the students got their results for the Queen's entrance exam. Once the word was out, it spread like wildfire around Avonlea. It was big news, and while most people seemed elated that one of their own was headed off to the big city, others had opinions that they thought were very necessary to share. 

That was how Rachel Lynde found herself standing at the kitchen table at Green Gables, cutting out pattern pieces for a dress Marilla was making for Anne. The two older women worked in relative silence, ears piqued and listening carefully for any sign of trouble from the young couple that sat together in the parlor. Eventually, she simply couldn’t keep her mouth shut any longer. 

“I think she’s a fool for not insisting that he marry her right away.” She said, keeping her eyes trained on the fabric as she carefully cut the rich velvet. 

“I beg your pardon!” Marilla said, stopping her work to give her friend an affronted look. Rachel just shrugged indifferently, not ashamed of what she had said. 

“It’s sure to cause a scandal, with him being so far away. He might be well behaved in public, but he’s still a young man who is going to be alone in a far away city with no one keeping an eye on him. Who knows what sort of trouble he could get himself into.” Rachel reasoned, sending Marilla a pointed look of her own. 

“For goodness sakes, Rachel, keep your voice down,” Marilla snapped. “Anne is already having a hard enough time with the idea of him going away, the worst thing you could do for her right now is put a seed of doubt about his loyalty to her in her mind. You should be ashamed of yourself, I bet John Blyhe is rolling in his grave at the mere suggestion that his son would behave less than appropriately.” 

Rachel just shrugged again, turning back to her cutting. The silence that fell over them was thick, with Marilla’s irritation towards the other woman being almost palpable. She enjoyed Rachel’s company, but sometimes her relentless gossip and need to stick her nose into everything sure got bothersome. 

“Say, it’s been awhile since we checked on them.” Rachel said after a few minutes of tense silence, setting down her scissors and quickly grabbing the pitcher of lemonade from the counter. “I’ll go see if they need anything.”

She heard her friend’s protests to leave them be as she walked out of the room, but she disregarded them as she entered the parlor. The young couple had already stopped whatever conversation they were having by the time she walked into the room, and were looking up at her from where they were sitting on the couch. At first glance everything seemed appropriate, they had a fair amount of space between them, and Anne’s hands were folded neatly in her lap. She did give a pointed glance at Gilbert’s hand, which rested on the couch between the two of them. 

“Mind you hands, Mr. Blythe.” She said, raising an eyebrow. He gave her a curt nod as he moved his hand to his lap, and she smiled, satisfied that she had nipped any funny business in the bud. She almost forgot to offer them the lemonade she had in her hands, but she was reminded by Anne, who was giving her a slightly skeptical look. With glasses full and debauchery stopped, Rachel gave them a small smile and left. She had not gotten two steps from the room before she heard a small shriek, a hushed _Gilbert!_ , followed by laughter from the both of them. Rachel quickly turned, sticking her head back in the room, only to find them exactly as she had left them (thankfully not noticing the blush that was creeping across Anne’s cheeks) and she simply raised an eyebrow at the two of them before continuing back into the kitchen. 

“They’re up to something, I just know it.” Rachel tutted, setting the pitcher down and rejoining Marilla at the table. She ignored the dirty look she was giving her as she continued cutting out the dress pieces. 

“It would do you well to remember that chaperoning _my_ daughter, in _my_ house falls under _my_ realm of responsibility.” She said sharply. “And I don’t think I like what you are insinuating. It’s the middle of the day, with chaperones only a few feet away, for goodness sake! Anne and Gilbert are smart, responsible young adults, and I trust them both fully to do the right thing.” 

“That’s how you end up with a baby before a wedding.” Rachel muttered under her breath. At her wits end, Marilla slammed down her scissors, crossing her arms as she turned to her friend. 

“That’s enough, Rachel.” She said sharply. “I do seem to recall that you have a few grandchildren that were shockingly premature, born only seven or eight months after their parent’s wedding. Now isn’t that queer?” 

Rachel blushed, biting the inside of her cheek. When she didn’t try to rebuff or retort, Marilla simply gave her a firm nod. 

“It’d do you well to keep your mouth shut sometimes.” She muttered angrily, working quietly for a moment before sighing and turning back to her friend. “I know I’m not a perfect mother by any means, but I’m trying my best to do right by her and I don’t need you insulting my intelligence and morals by questioning my decisions.” 

Finally realizing that she crossed a line, Rachel sighed with a frown. “I’m sorry Marilla, I really meant no offense.” 

“You never do.” She responded with a small shrug. “Anne is quickly becoming her own woman, and we’re almost to the point that I can’t truly tell her what to do anymore. I can only trust that Matthew and I have done a good job with her, and that she’ll make wise choices. She and Gilbert will decide what’s best for them. When the time is right for them to marry, they will, and I trust that they’ll behave themselves until that time comes. And that is the last thing I’ll be saying on the matter.” 

She finished her speech with an air of finality, gathering up the cut dress pieces as she began to pin them together with perhaps a little more force than necessary. For one of the few times in her life, Rachel kept her mouth shut, knowing that she would likely be kicked out if she dared open it up again. 

A few feet away in the parlor, Anne and Gilbert had schooched back together on the couch, thighs pressed together as they giggled quietly. 

“I can’t believe you did that! Imagine the conniption Mrs. Lynde would have had if she had come in a second too early!” Anne chastised lightly. Gilbert just rolled his eyes, taking his hand in hers and kissing it gently. 

“She told me to mind my hands, and I was.” He said cockily, thinking back to the stunt he had pulled in defiance of Mrs. Lynde’s intrusive ways. After her reprimand on his hands being too close to her, he had waited patiently until she was nearly out of the room before turning to Anne and quickly grabbing her bosoms, squeezing them and returning his hands to their original position just as quickly as he had moved them. She had shrieked and hit him on the arm, eyes darting to the door just in time for Mrs. Lynde to reappear. With one last skeptical look, the nosy old woman had left them alone and Anne couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation. 

“Cheeky boy.” Anne reprimanded teasingly. He smiled, leaning in to kiss her. 

“I didn’t see you complaining.” He murmured against her lips, his hand trailing up her side as she giggled. 

“Alright, alright,” She said, pulling away from the kiss and pushing his hand back to a more respectable place. “We don’t want our luck running out on us with the infamous Rachel Lynde here to catch us.” 

He relented at her point, putting his hands in the air as an act of surrender as he slid further away from her, should they be interrupted again. Still, his knee was brushing against hers as he cleared his throat, turning their conversation to more serious topics than nosy chaperones. 

“I got a letter from Dr. Oak today, she was able to secure me a room at a boarding house in Toronto.” He said, and Anne gave him the same sad smile she had given him every time Toronto was brought up. They were two less than two weeks away from the fateful day that they would separate, and while there was excitement about the future, it also left them with a bitter taste in their mouths. 

“Good, now I’ll know exactly where to send my letters to.” She said, reaching to take his hand in hers, Rachel Lynde and propriety be damned. Gilbert chuckled, squeezing her hand gently. They sat silently for a moment, Gilbert looking down at their intertwined hands (most notably, her bare left ring finger, which he desired more and more to adorn with his mother’s ring. He restrained himself though, he wouldn’t dare spring such a thing on her with no warning. He planned on having quite a few detailed conversations about their future with her before asking for her hand. She had just as much say in their timeline as he did, and he knew she would surely kick his teeth in if he even for a moment thought she didn’t.) 

“You know, I can still turn it down-” He started with a sigh, and Anne was quick to interrupt. 

“You will do no such thing, Gilbert Blythe.” She said firmly. “You’ve said it over and over now, Toronto is the key to your future career. You’d be an idiot to turn it down.” 

“I just worry, Anne-girl.” He sighed, his thumb rubbing comforting circles over the top of her hand. Her eyebrows knit together, and she tilted her head down to meet his eye. 

“Won’t you tell me why, then? I’m certainly not worried about anything.” She said softly, trying to make him feel better, only to receive a wary look from him. 

“Don’t you try and sneak a fib past me, little lady.” He said with fake sternness, the term of endearment making her blush. “I’d actually be quite worried if your statement was truthful, and that you really aren’t worried about the distance, because I certainly am. I-I can’t stop thinking about how dreadfully unfair all of this is, to you.” 

“To me? Whatever do you mean?” Anne said, confusion written all over her face. 

“I’ll be away in Toronto for years, only seeing you several times a year and corresponding by letter, and you’ll be at Queens then off teaching somewhere after a year or two. All the while, your friends will be finding beaus, courting, going to balls and soirees, and you’ll be all alone. I hate the thought of depriving you of those things because you’re carrying a torch for this old cad.” He explained, keeping his eyes locked on their hands as he spoke. Anne scoffed as he finished, fighting the urge to roll her eyes. 

“Well that’s malarky if I’ve ever heard it!” She exclaimed. Gilbert finally looked up at her after her outburst. “Do you know what isn’t fair? Keeping it a secret that I vomited on you when I had sun poisoning, that wasn’t fair-” 

“I apologized for that.” Gilbert groaned, having been teased relentlessly over the little secret for weeks. 

“Well, still! It isn’t fair, but you being all mopey because you think you’re depriving me of a true college experience, that’s just nonsense. I don’t care about my friend’s having their beaus and doing all sorts of courtship activities with them, because I know I have my own waiting for me, just as I am waiting for him. Why would I even dream of others, when I have the most wonderful man already?” She said with a huff. Gilbert chuckled, rolling his eyes at his beloved. 

“Whatever you say, dearest. It doesn’t mean I won’t worry anyways.” He said. 

“What do I need to do, then, to make you stop it?” Anne cried in exasperation, taking his hand in hers, her heart set on giving into every whim his heart desired if it meant he wouldn’t fret anymore. 

Gilbert stared at her for a moment, heart swelling with love. The words, _Marry me,_ poised on his tongue. He forced himself to swallow those particular words, squeezing her hands gently in his. There would come a day when he would get down on one knee and beg for her hand, but he knew that he would only be making a fool of himself if he did it then. Instead he forced the best smile he could as he looked up at his love. 

“Just promise me that you’ll be patient with me, and that if any bitterness or resentment towards me takes root in your heart, that you’ll let me know. I couldn’t bear it if you felt the need to carry the weight all on your own.” He said. Anne smiled as she nodded, raising their hands to press kisses to the tops of his. 

“I swear it.” She said solemnly. “Now, enough of this sad nonsense. There’s still far too much time before we have to let the melancholia set in. Why don’t we give Rachel Lynde something to fuss about?” She giggled, standing up with a mischievous look in her eye. 

Sure enough, they had both of the older women running into the parlor a moment later when they heard Anne shriek, only to find the young couple laughing uncontrollably as Gilbert spun Anne around in circles, the girl having been thrown over his shoulder. 

“Well, I’ve never seen anything like it!” Mrs. Lynde said with a gasp, scandalized by the impropriety of it all. Marilla simply rolled her eyes, setting a hand on the other woman’s shoulder as she gently led the two of the back into the kitchen. 

“If you can name one couple in all of Avonlea that followed all of the rules perfectly, then I’ll let you lecture them until you’re blue in the face.” She said with a chuckle. “Otherwise, let them be young and in love, Rachel.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gilbert, as a boyfriend, is contractually obligated to sneakily feel his girlfriend up whenever people aren't looking. Sorry, I don't make the rules. 
> 
> In other news, I wanted to see if there would be any interest in AWAE fans here on AO3 having a discord. I know that I, along with many others at this time, feel very disconnected from others, and I thought it might be fun to have a place for people to come and chat if they'd like. So let me know if that's something that you might be interested in. If I see a handful of interest, I'll create a discord and leave a link in the notes of the next chapter. 
> 
> Either way, I hope everyone is staying sane and healthy out there. Until next time!


	21. Twenty One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With college looming in the distance, emotions run high as both Anne and Gilbert have to face their fears and tie up loose ends in their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I lied. This isn't the last chapter before college. It's the second to last chapter. I felt like I needed something else before shipping them off, and thus thus chapter was born. I like it a lot, so I hope you all enjoy it as well!
> 
> CW: period-typical racism, and mentions of lynching and violence against African Americans.

Six days. 

  
Only six more days and Anne would leave for Charlottetown, leaving behind the only home she had ever known. It seemed like every corner of Avonlea held some sort of memory to her, and she spent every moment that she wasn’t harvesting with her family walking through town, committing every detail of the village to memory. 

While there was a lot of excitement surrounding the next stage of life that she was entering, she also had to ignore the ache in her chest as she thought about everything that was about to change. Diana’s parents had been furious when she told them she had gotten into Queen’s, and they had told her with certainty that she would not be attending. The blow had been a hard one, and ever since Diana delivered the news to her, the two of them could hardly talk to each other without crying as Diana prepared to go to Paris, like her parents had always said she would. Anne could hardly imagine her strong, resilient friend being sold off like a broodmare, but that was the fate her parents were subjecting her to. 

In the same vein of being a world away from the people she loved most dearly, there was Gilbert, which she was not ready to think about at all and was currently choosing to ignore completely. Losing Diana was enough to think about, and she knew if she thought too much about Gilbert being in Toronto that she would never want to get out of bed because of her despair. 

There was also the matter of her dear Matthew and Marilla, who she would miss fiercely. She could tell Marilla was trying to be positive about the situation, indulging in a shopping day to get Anne some things for school and working furiously to make long skirts and dresses for Anne to wear once she got to Charlottetown. She was trying to take her mind off of things, with ‘things’ being Diana and Gilbert, and while Anne appreciated the gesture, it still did little to make her feel better. Still, where Marilla was showing uncharacteristic maternal warmth, Matthew was doing the opposite. He seemed to be making a show of telling her _ just  _ how fine they would be when she was gone. Anne was at a complete loss as to how her sweet, gentle Matthew be so cruel and cold towards her. He had been the first person she truly trusted in all of Avonlea, and now he was practically rejoicing at the fact that she would be leaving. It was too much for her to bear, and she had settled on giving him a wide berth, so that she wouldn’t have to hear all of the grand plans he was making for when she was out of his hair. 

Still, the distance she put between them did nothing to soothe the ache his cruelty left in her heart, which resulted in her crying whenever she thought too much about it. (It seemed like tears were becoming a staple in her life the closer she got to leaving. Not a day went by in her last two weeks in Avonlea that she didn’t cry over one thing or another. She feared she was becoming more emotional than Ruby.) Her poor Gilbert had spent more time consoling her in the time they spent together than he did talking to her, but he took it in stride and never complained. 

“I just don’t understand!” She cried one afternoon as they sat on his porch after all of the harvesting was done for the day. She wished more than anything that he could hold her in that moment, but with Hazel watching them like a hawk from the kitchen, they were forced to keep their distance. Stupid propriety. 

“I can’t pretend that I know what’s going on in Matthew’s head,” Gilbert said with a sigh. “But perhaps he’s just as sad about your departure as you are, and this is his way of coping with it.” 

“Well it’s a terrible way of showing it! He sold one of the cows without even consulting Marilla or I, and he and Jerry have been talking nonstop about the grand plans he has for the farm for days now. It seems to me like he will be very happy without me there. Dare I say, his life will be better when I’m gone! I suppose next he’ll be trying to sell me off to the highest bidder, so I never have to come back!” She ranted, cheeks flushed with anger as she spoke. Gilbert just watched her, at a loss for what to do. He wished more than anything he could make her pain and heartache go away.

“I-I don’t know what you want me to say, Anne-girl.” He finally said, admitting defeat. Anne didn’t say anything, she merely groaned in annoyance, standing up quickly and brushing off her dress. 

“You’re no help. You aren’t even trying to understand.” She muttered angrily, stomping off down the lane. Gilbert stood, intent on following her to try and remedy the situation, but stopped when she threw an apple at his head. 

Gilbert groaned in frustration, picking up an apple of his own to throw against a tree, trying to release some of the aggression and emotions that were trapped inside of him. He knew Anne had a lot on her plate, with Diana and Matthew, but the stress of leaving was affecting him too. His home life had always been complicated, but the thought of leaving Bash, Dellie and Hazel alone in Avonlea scared the daylights out of him. Both of them had worked hard to fight the prejudice that their neighbors had held against Bash, and Gilbert feared that the second he was gone, hostility would rear its ugly head. Of course, he knew that the Barrys, Lyndes and the Cuthberts would always be kind, even when he wasn’t around, but they were only three families in a town whose attitudes could easily overrule them. 

He also felt guilty for leaving Bash. Gilbert knew he still frequently struggled with grief over the loss of Mary, even though he had gotten very good at hiding it. Then there was the issue of his tumultuous (and sometimes volatile) relationship he had with his mother. Gilbert liked Hazel well enough, but he knew that her no nonsense attitude was frequently overbearing and irritated the hell out of Bash. With everything around him that was going on, it was hard for him to spend the quality time that he wanted with his brother before he left for college. With Bash frequently in a sour mood because of his mother, or Gilbert at a loss of what to do with Anne, the two of them hardly got the time they wanted together. 

Luckily, he was able to find him in the kitchen after he gave up his pursuit of Anne, and with one look he knew that Bash was in the same sort of mood he was in. Without a word, Bash grabbed two glasses and the bottle of rum he kept for hard conversations and celebrations, and the two silently left the kitchen. They found themselves in the barn, a generous glass of rum in each of their hands. They sat in silence for a while, looking out on the orchards as they drank. 

“My father didn’t leave us,” Bash finally said, voice thick with emotion. “I always thought he had, that my mother ran him off. I was wrong.” 

“What happened?” Gilbert prompting, the air around them heavy on their shoulders. 

“His dreams got too big.” He said, taking a long swig from his glass, hissing quietly at the burn before continuing. “So they lynched him.” 

The words hit Gilbert like a ton of bricks, and he found himself speechless as Bash continued to stare out at the apple trees, taking another drink. He didn’t wait for a response from Gilbert before continuing, and he was glad for it. He knew that in that moment, his job was to listen, not to speak. 

“That’s why my mother is… the way she is.” He sighed. “She sees me, here with all you white folk, having big dreams of owning the orchard, having a family, belonging to the community, and to her it’s too good to be true. To her, if I start asking for all that, I end up strung up in a tree somewhere.” 

“She’s scared.” Gilbert finally said, feeling like with even just that tiny morsel of information, he was able to understand Hazel Lacroix more than he had ever been able to before. In truth, a small, secret part of Gilbert feared the exact same thing. 

“I spent my whole life believing that my mother pushed people away for spite, that she loved the plantation owners more than she loved her own family when to them, she was less than the dirt under their boots. But I was wrong. The whole time, she was doing her best to protect us. Protect  _ me _ .” He said, eyes glossy with unshed tears as he finished the last of his drink in one long swig before pouring himself another. Gilbert on the other hand, had hardly touched his own as he listened to his friend talk. There was nothing he could say that would fix his relationship with his mother, or bring his father back, or change the mindset of the entire world so that they saw the man beside him as an equal. All he could do was hope and pray that his family would be safe, and that the work they had been doing for the past two years would not be in vain. Without anything to say, he settled with taking a sip of his rum, patting his brother on the back, and keeping the companionable silence that settled over them. 

_______________

At Green Gables, there was the exact opposite of silence. Anne had already been fuming from her failed conversation with Gilbert. Part of her knew that she was overreacting, and that her beau had truly done nothing wrong and it was unfair of her to have been so short with him. But she was frustrated, and upset, and heartbroken all at once and poor Gilbert had been the closest person to her when her emotions came to a head, so he bore the brunt of the impact even though he had done little to cause the explosion. 

She wasn’t feeling any better as she stomped up the steps, storming into her house and not even flinching when the door slammed behind her. Marilla jumped from where she was standing at the kitchen counter, kneading a loaf of bread. Matthew, who had been sitting at the table looking over some papers, jumped as well, and Anne wished she had slammed the door harder so that he would have gotten even more of a fright. 

“Anne Shirley Cuthbert!” Marilla scolded. “You know better than to come into this house like that!” 

Anne rolled her eyes, more than ready to pick a fight. “Oh,  _ I’m sorry _ ,” She said, sarcasm dripping from every word as she looked back and forth between the two siblings. She huffed, stepping outside and reentering the house, fulfilling her wish of slamming the door harder than she had the first time. The windows rattled in their panes, and Marilla stared at her slack-jawed at the uncharacteristic display of disrespect. 

“You forget yourself, Anne.” Matthew warned carefully, standing up from the table. “You’d best remember your manners.” 

“What are you going to do? Send me away?” She challenged, voice climbing nearly to the point of screaming. “It seems like that’s what you want to do anyways! Maybe I’ll just marry Gilbert and move to Toronto so you’ll never have to see me again! Then I’d be his problem, and you can jump for joy that you’d never have to encounter me and my  _ terrible manners  _ ever again!” 

With that, she stormed past both of the adults, stomping her feet as hard as she could with every step of the stairs, leaving her guardians gobsmacked in the kitchen at her outburst. She slammed her bedroom door shut, just for good measure and shoved her desk in front of it so that she would be left alone. Only when she was locked away safely in her room did she let her tears fall. They were hot against cheeks as she buried her face in her pillow, wondering why things had to change at all. She wanted to stay in Avonlea forever, doing her chores and going to school and seeing Ms. Stacy and having tea parties and womanhood rituals with her friends, and kissing Gilbert on their walks home, and sitting ‘round the fire with her family that still wanted her every night for the rest of her life. 

She wasn’t sure how much time had passed when the door tried to open, only for the attempt to be thwarted by her desk being in the way. She heard a sigh from the other side of her door, followed by the gentle timbre of Matthew’s voice saying her name. 

“Go away!” She shouted weakly, voice hoarse from crying. 

“Please open the door Anne,” Matthew pleaded softly. “I’d like to explain myself, if you’d let me.” 

She didn’t respond to his request for a few minutes, deciding if she even wanted to hear what he had to say. Ultimately, she relented, pushing her desk out of the way before throwing herself back onto her bed. She didn’t turn or react when the door opened and her bed shifted as Matthew sat down on the end of her bed. He put his hand on her ankle, the weight warm and familiar against her, but she was quick to tuck her legs up further, pulling her ankle out of his grip. Matthew sighed, and finally broke the silence. 

“I’ve been unkind to you.” He said slowly, his voice as low and gruff as ever. “And I’m sorry. There’s no excuse for the hurt I’ve caused you, even without meaning to.” 

“I just don’t understand what I did wrong.” Anne whispered, voice wobbly as she tried to hold back her tears.   
“You did nothing wrong,” Matthew assured her, scooting closer to her as he rested his hand on her ankle again. She didn’t try to pull away, and he continued speaking. “You’re so bright, Anne, and you’ve got such a future in front of you. You’re a trailblazer, and I never want for you to worry about Marilla or me when you should be conquering the world. I suppose, in my own way, I was trying to let you know that we’ll be alright here. That we’ll miss you terribly- _I’ll_ miss you terribly, but we’re going to be alright.” 

By the end, Anne could hear the wavering in the older man’s voice, and she quickly sat up to look at him, noticing the tears glistening in his eyes. Without another word, she threw herself into the man’s arms, crying into his shirt. 

“I’m sorry,” she said over and over. “I’m sorry I screamed and yelled and acted with such a temper.” 

“It’s alright, little girl.” Matthew soothed as he ran his hand over her fiery red hair, holding her tightly. “And I’m sorry that I ever made you feel like you don’t belong here. This is your home, and we’re your family. No matter how far you go, you’ll always be Anne of Green Gables.” 

The assurance sent her into another fit of crying, this time in relief. She understood Matthew’s reasoning behind his actions, and with the new perspective she had been granted, she was able to see how his actions were meant to be loving and reassuring to her, not cold and dismissive of her place in their lives. She had found and made her home in Green Gables, and the hearts of the Cuthbert siblings, and it didn’t matter if she left in six days or six months or six years, she knew that she would  _ always  _ be able to find her way back home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a boyfriend, Gilbert is contractually obligated to occasionally take the brunt of his girlfriend's bad moods. Sorry, I don't write the rules. 
> 
> Coming up next: Anne and Gilbert make good use of their last day together. (and yes, it's probably what you're expecting it to be) 
> 
> On another note, I went ahead and made a discord for everyone's enjoyment, so if you want to join and chat with some kindred spirits, please do so! Here's the link, don't be shy! https://discord.gg/YqSMFYp


	22. Twenty Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With change on the horizon, Anne and Gilbert have important conversations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I'm a liar (again, sorry) but this isn't the last chapter before college. I promise that this is the actual second to last chapter before they head their separate ways. There were still some loose strings that needed tying up, but if it's any consolation this chapter and the next are both over 3000 words, so they're pretty hefty.
> 
> Anyways, welcome to the angst party. 
> 
> CW: period-typical racism and mentions of violence against African Americans

Only three days stood between Anne and the rest of her life. 

After her talk with Matthew, things around Green Gables had returned to normal, but even with the peace restored Anne still had to face a punishment for her behavior. She had nearly pitched a fit that rivaled the one that got her into trouble in the first place when Marilla told her she would be grounded for two days, and she spent the afternoon crying in her room at the unfairness of it all. How could Marilla be so cruel to her? Taking away two of her last few days with both Diana and Gilbert (who she knew she still needed to apologize to for storming off… and throwing the apple at him) was the worst punishment she could imagine for anyone. She would rather be strung up by her toes on the laundry line for an afternoon than be confined to the house for two whole days. 

But her crying and begging did nothing to sway Marilla, who was unyielding in her decision. So Anne spent two days moping around the house, helping with the harvest (which in truth, is what she would have been doing even without her punishment in place), and in general being miserable and remorseful about her decisions. What hurt the most though, was when Gilbert came calling on her on the second day of her punishment, asking to take her for a walk, and she had to stay in the parlor as Marilla explained why he wasn’t even allowed to see her until after church the next day. She had begged Matthew to answer the door instead, knowing that he would more easily relent and allow Anne to go before her punishment was over, but Marilla had shot her brother a sharp look and banished Anne to the other room before he could even stand . 

Anne was pouting when Marilla came to fetch her, looking out of the window and refusing to acknowledge the older woman. 

“Anne,” Marilla sighed in exasperation. “That’s quite enough. I know you are upset, but I’m trying to make you think about your actions. There will be rules at whatever boarding houses you live in for the next few years, with landlords and ladies much stricter than I am. Do you think you’ll receive a simple reprimand if you were to slam a door like you did the other day? No, you’d be evicted on the spot without a single question as to why you did it.” 

Anne sulked, turning around to face Marilla. “But why two days? It’ll be months until I see Gilbert again, and likely years for Diana! And she’ll come back with a husband and he might be cruel and not allow us to be friends and Marilla, I can hardly stand the thought! I promise I’ll never slam another door for the rest of my life if you’d let me go today, please!” 

“I’m afraid that’s not going to happen, dear. What kind of parent would I be if I relented on punishments so easily? I’ve never spoiled you like that, and I don’t intend on starting now. But I think you will be happy to hear that when he was here just now, I invited Gilbert and his family over for dinner tomorrow, so you’ll see him then. If you behave for the rest of the night and quit your sulking, I might allow for him to walk you home after church.” Marilla said, bartering for Anne’s compliance. 

The incentive worked, and Anne perked up at the thought of getting to spend any extra time with Gilbert. 

“Oh, that’s wonderful! I promise I’ll be good!” She said, standing up from the couch, her exuberance hardly contained as she practically leapt with joy. Marilla just rolled her eyes, fighting back a smile as Anne bounded off out of the room. 

True to her word, the next day after church Marilla and Matthew climbed into the carriage, giving Anne a wave and a reminder to not dally on her way home. She simply waved back, turning to where Gilbert stood by her side, a small smile on his face. 

“Shall we?” He said, offering her his arm. She smiled, her stomach full of butterflies as she took his arm and began walking down the avenue towards Green Gables. 

“If I could be so bold to say it,” Gilbert said once they got out of earshot of the rest of the congregation. “I’ve missed you terribly the last few days. I thought something was wrong when I hadn’t heard from you.” 

Anne giggled, shaking her head. “No, I was being held prisoner at Green Gables for a nasty show of temper.” 

“You? With a temper? Impossible.” Gilbert said, words dripping with sarcasm as he laughed at her expense. She rolled her eyes, pinching his arm slightly in retaliation. He winced at the sharp pain, but laughed good naturedly as he rubbed his arm. “Care to tell me what exactly happened?” 

  
Anne huffed, thinking back to the horrible afternoon. “Well, I was in quite a stormy mood when I left your house- which I’m terribly sorry for and do intend on apologizing for in greater depth in a moment- and when I got to Green Gables I slammed the door. Marilla got onto me about it, so I decided to correct my behavior by slamming the door even harder the second time.” 

Gilbert laughed at her plight, and Anne had to stop herself from pinching him again. Instead she loudly cleared her throat, cutting his laughter short as she continued. 

“I don’t understand what you think is so humorous about one being rude to their parents. I was horribly disrespectful, and me being so upset is not an excuse. I yelled at Matthew, and told him that I would leave and never come back so he never had to see my face again and then I stormed off to my room. I slammed the door then, too, just for good measure!” 

Gilbert couldn’t help but chuckle as she finished her story, reaching out to tug on one of her braids playfully. “You were in quite a mood, that’s for certain. It seems like I hardly received anything, and you tried to maim me!” 

Anne rolled her eyes. “It was an apple, you would have been alright. If anything, it would have burst on that thick skull of yours.” 

“Such cheek, Miss Shirley.” He tutted before turning the conversation in a more serious direction. “Did you talk with Matthew about what was troubling you though? Please tell me you’ve tried to resolve the conflict, it made my heart ache seeing you so distressed.” 

Anne couldn’t help but swoon at his words, her heart soaring at his tenderness. She had thrown an apple at him, for goodness sake, and he was still trying to ensure that she was alright! It seemed like just when she thought she could love him no more than she already did, he proved her wrong. 

“Yes, in fact, we did. After I had calmed down Matthew came to me and explained his behavior. It was a matter of miscommunication. You were right, as much as it pains me to say. He was trying to let me know that him and Marilla will be alright here when I am gone, and he did that by showing me everything he was doing to make it so, rather than saying it. I aplogized for being so rude and nasty, and we made amends. As a result, I have been reassured of my place in Green Gables, and my love for my dear Matthew has grown exponentially.” 

“I’m glad.” Gilbert said with a sweet smile. “See what happens when you listen to me? I swear I don’t blow hot air all the time.” 

Anne pinched him again. 

“Just when I think you’re sweet, you start acting like a cad.” She griped, though humor still lingered in her words. Her beau simply laughed, and she rolled her eyes as she cleared her throat to get his attention again. “Now, I would like to apologize for how I behaved towards you. I was hot headed and let my temper control me. I’m sorry for storming off the way I did, and for throwing an apple at your head, and for being inconsiderate of your feelings. I have been such a mess the past few weeks about all of the change we’re facing, and I never once have asked you how you are feeling. I’ve been terribly selfish, self-centered, and unfair to you. Will you please forgive me?” She asked sincerely, stopping their walk to take his hands in hers and look up at him. 

“Of course,” He said without hesitation, his eyes soft as they looked down into hers. “All I wish is for you to be happy, and I want to be an instrument in you achieving your happiness. I can’t say that I’ll always hold all of the answers, but I can promise that I will try my best to do right by you.” 

Anne smiled, wishing that they weren’t essentially at her front gate, or else she would have kissed the daylights out of him right then and there. Instead she settled for the next best thing, and gently raised their hands to kiss his knuckles. 

“Have I told you that I am irrevocably in love with you, Gilbert Blythe?” She said as they started walking again. Gilbert chuckled, shaking his head. 

“I don’t believe that I’ve heard anything of the sort, at least not in the last few days.” He said, raising an eyebrow as he looked down at her. “Would you care to say it again?” 

She giggled, bumping her shoulder against his. “Alright then, I am irrevocably in love with you.” 

“And I, you, Miss Shirley.” He responded, eyes twinkling with affection as he bumped her shoulder back. 

Anne could see Marilla preparing lunch in the kitchen as they climbed the porch steps, and Anne couldn’t help but feel sad, knowing they had to part even for a few short hours. She was sure that it would feel like another eternity before she saw his face again. 

“Will you tell me everything that’s been going on in that head of yours tonight? After dinner?” She asked as they stood in front of her door, hands gently clasped in between them. Gilbert nodded, kissing her knuckles lightly. 

“Tonight.” He promised, kissing her hands once more before taking his leave. Anne waited until he was out of sight to go inside, just as she always did, heart melting over and over as he walked away. 

Sure enough, after dinner they found themselves sitting in the hayloft, Anne indebted once again to Jerry, who was sitting just outside the barn. There was no kissing this time (well, maybe one or two. Nothing of consequence, really) but Anne was still thankful for their privacy, especially when Gilbert pulled her into his lap just as soon as they sat down. She had giggled and leaned into his chest, relishing the comfort she found with his arms wrapped around her. 

“Tell me what’s on your mind.” She said once they had gotten comfortable in their embrace. Gilbert sighed, never one to be comfortable talking about his feelings. He was silent for a few minutes, trying to arrange his thoughts in such a way that revealed what he was worried about, but not so much that he scared her. 

“Not everyone is like you and I, Anne.” He finally said. She looked up at him, confusion written all over her face, but she remained silent, letting him speak. “What I mean by that, is when you see Bash, and Hazel, and Delphine, you just see people. Because that’s what they are, but just because that’s how we see them, doesn’t mean the rest of Avonlea does the same.” 

“You’re afraid.” Anne deduced, and Gilbert nodded. 

“I haven’t heard any threats personally, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t there. I fear that many people haven’t been openly hostile because I’ve been around, but once I’m gone…” 

“You think people will be cruel to them.” Anne finished, and Gilbert once again confirmed his suspicions with a nod. 

“They already face blatant prejudice on a daily basis. Hazel has started going to the store with Rachel or Marilla to get a fair price for goods because she was getting gouged when she went alone, and Mary faced the same thing, if they even sold to her at all. I’m sure that in a couple years when Delphine gets to be of schooling age that there will be hell raised over a colored girl being in the class. Truthfully, my worst nightmare is that she won’t even make it to that age because someone will try and harm them.” He said bluntly. “It’s happened before, in other places, and people get away with it. I-it makes me sick in the stomach to even think about it, but what can I do about it? I’ll be a world away in Toronto, and from there, there’s nothing I can do to protect my family.” 

Anne’s heart broke as Gilbert spoke, laying out all of his fears about going off to school, leaving Bash and the others vulnerable. 

“But they have friends here-” Anne tried to reason, only to have Gilbert laugh humorlessly. 

“Less than ten people, against a whole town? It only takes one person to do irreparable damage, darling.” He said bitterly, face softening as he looked down at her. “I pray every day that they’ll be safe, but I worry prayer won’t be enough... Look, what I’m about to tell you, you must never repeat to anyone, alright?” 

Anne nodded without hesitation, heart pounding in her chest as Gilbert held her even closer to his body, his voice low as he spoke. 

“When I went to Charlottetown last, I bought a gun.” He said, and Anne gasped. “ I hope that Bash has no reason to use it, but I felt it was necessary, only as a last resort.” 

“But Gilbert, if he were to shoot anyone, even as self-defense-” Anne said quickly, tears pricking her eyes at the thought of such violence. 

“He’d be found guilty without question. He’d be sent to jail in the best case scenario, or killed in the worst.” Gilbert said grimly. “I know that, we both do. It’s unfair and it’s sickeningly violent, but it’s reality. If anything like that were to happen, Bash knows he would have to lay his life down to protect Hazel and Delphine long enough for them to flee and come here. I’ve talked to Matthew, he would take them in and keep them safe until arrangements for them to leave PEI could be made.” 

Anne was stunned into silence as he finished, and she didn’t try and stop the tears that started flowing as the gravity of the situation hit her. Gilbert simply held her while she cried at the injustice of it all, hating that they lived in a world where Bash had to make plans like the one they had made, and that she was powerless to do anything about it. 

“The world is so cruel and wretched.” Anne cried, undoubtedly leaving tear marks on Gilbert’s vest. He said nothing though, smoothing his hand over her hair, pressing gentle kisses to the crown of her head. She looked up at him, not caring that her face was probably splotchy and red from her crying. “I’ll pray for them every night before I go to bed, and the moment I wake up every morning. And I’ll pray for every other person just like them who has to face such unjust wickedness. It isn’t fair!” 

“It’s not.” Gilbert agreed, gently rubbing her back as she began crying again. “And you and I, we might not be able to change people’s minds, but one day, things will be different. And when that time comes, my family-  _ our  _ family, will not be seen as odd or strange, and we will know with certainty that we did the right thing, even when no one else was doing the same.” 

With that, they lapsed into silence as Anne cried for a bit longer, feeling awful. She hated the reality that Bash and his family lived in, she hated that Gilbert bore the weight of it on his shoulders, and that while she had been crying about missing her best friend while away at school, he had been making a plan just in case everything went wrong. She almost cursed out loud at the lack of perspective she had, and wanted to kick herself for not being more attuned to Gilbert’s emotions. 

“Please,” Gilbert said, tilting her chin up to look at him once she had calmed down. “Don’t think about this a moment more once we leave this barn tonight. It would make me sick knowing that you’re off in Charlottetown, dwelling on the worst possible situation. In truth, I debated even telling you of our plan. It truly is a last resort, and we all hope that it never has to be acted out. Only you, Matthew, Bash, Hazel and I know that there is even a gun in the house. Hazel doesn’t know where it is, and I won’t be telling you. But Anne, you are my partner for now, and eventually if I get my way, for life. I promise to never keep you in the dark on my business, unless it is absolutely essential for your safety to do so. Alright?” 

Anne nodded, not saying anything as she captured his face in her hands and pulled him in for a searing kiss, her heart pounding in her chest as the emotion of the night got to her. He kissed her back so fiercely it hurt, but Anne didn’t mind. She wasn’t even surprised the next day when she found five small, circular bruises on her hip from where Gilbert had unintentionally gripped her too tightly. Even then, she still didn’t care. She knew that it was a cathartic kiss, not necessarily a romantic one, as they poured out every negative emotion they had locked up within their bodies into each other. 

They pulled away when they heard Jerry banging on the side of the barn, warning his imminent return, red faced and panting, lips swollen from where they had bit down too harshly. They leaned back slightly, pressing their foreheads together, a moment of tenderness after the storm that had just raged between them. 

“It’ll be alright.” Gilbert said softly, gently brushing a lock of hair that had escaped her braid out of her face. 

“And if it isn’t?” Anne asked, voice wavering slightly, and Gilbert just shook his head firmly, trying to dispel their fears. 

“We don’t get to think like that. Yes, we do plan for the bad,” He said. “But we have to hope for the good.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter was so dark, and I will assure everyone now that nothing is going to happen to Bash and his family, but I thought it would be ignorant to think that there wasn't at least some sort of danger and prejudice that they would face as a black family in rural, white as mayonnaise Canada in 1899. So I wanted to bring light to that in hopefully realistic and honoring way to those who actually lived that reality. 
> 
> Chapter 23 is almost finished (and has been almost finished for several days now before I decided to put in the last two chapters lol) and will most likely be up tonight since I have no self control. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, and if you haven't joined the discord, please do! We're already having a ton of fun over there, you can find the link in the ch. 21 end notes!


	23. Twenty Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne and Gilbert spend their last day together as one chapter of their lives comes to an end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, here's the doozy of a (final, eep!) chapter! I actually wasn't planning on this being the last chapter, but it feels like a good place to wrap it up. 
> 
> Thank you so much for everyone that has read, commented, given kudos, bookmarked, or done anything to give this story the time of day. You all have sparked confidence in me that I have not had in a very long time, and I can not thank you enough. So without further ado, here's the final chapter of New Courage. 
> 
> CW: most of this chapter contains sexual/mature content. If you'd like to skip that part, the intense stuff starts with "Anne didn’t have time to study Gilbert’s room once they entered it," and ends with "'That was nice.'"

It was their last day. 

Tomorrow, everything was going to change. Anne would don her corset and long skirts for the first (well, technically second) time, making her first appearance in the world as a young woman as she began her journey at college. Gilbert would go with her to Charlottetown, but from there he would continue on, further and further away from her as he pursued his dreams in Toronto. They had both talked enough to know that this wasn’t a permanent diversion of their paths, only a fork in the road that would eventually reunite. 

But they still had their last day in Avonlea with each other. They would worry about goodbyes and sadness the next day. They were going to live in the moment, which meant sitting perhaps a little closer than propriety allowed in Gilbert’s parlor, reminiscing on the years that had gone by in the blink of an eye as Bash played chaperone in the corner. They talked for a while, until Hazel stuck her head in to let them know she was leaving for Rachel’s for the afternoon. It seemed like the front door had barely closed behind her before Bash was standing up, setting aside the book he had been reading.

“I enjoyed sitting in here the entire afternoon, chaperoning you the entire time.” He said, giving Gilbert a pointed look. “Remember my rules, I’ll be in the barn if you need me.” 

With that, he walked out, leaving the two blissfully alone in the house. Anne turned to Gilbert, surprised by the turn of events. He was giving her a bashful smile, the tips of his ears red. 

“Care to explain what rules Bash might be referring to?” She said teasingly, raising an eyebrow at him. Gilbert chuckled, scooting closer to her so that their thighs were touching. 

“If he doesn’t see it, it didn’t happen.” He explained, and Anne giggled, blushing at the thought that Bash knew of the compromising positions they had been in. Without waiting any longer, Gilbert leaned in, kissing her gently as he took her hand in his. Anne kissed him back, tangling her other hand in his hair. 

It didn’t take long for the kiss to progress to more scandalous as they took advantage of their alone time. They were able to steal a few minutes to kiss frequently, but they had not had a time where they were sure they wouldn’t be caught since the night of the Queens exam. And while neither of them had said it out loud, both were very much wanting a repeat of the experience. 

Anne wasn’t sure how she ended up on her back, spread across the couch as Gilbert hovered over her, lavishing her neck with kisses that made her blood boil with want. She didn’t try to hold back her gasps and moans, wrapping her leg around his waist to pull their hips into each other like they had the night in the woods. Gilbert groaned into her mouth at the contact, immediately rolling his hips into hers as his hand found her breast. 

“Please forgive me if this offends you,” He said against the skin of her neck, pushing himself up to rest on his elbows above her. “But would you like to go upstairs?” 

Anne’s brain felt as if it had been turned to mush at the suggestion, and Gilbert looked as if he was about to apologize before she was kissing him fiercely, pouring her excitement into the kiss. He chuckled against her lips, guiding her legs to wrap around his waist as he stood up, hands holding onto her bottom as he walked them out of the parlor and up the stairs. She set to work kissing his neck as he went, running her hands up and down his back. He set her down when he reached the top of the stairs, kissing her forehead gently as he struggled to catch his breath. She giggled, he had obviously exerted himself too much in his endeavor to carry her up the stairs and he rolled his eyes at her. 

“It sounded more romantic in my head.” He said, swatting her bottom as he pushed her towards one of the rooms on the landing. 

Anne didn’t have time to study Gilbert’s room once they entered it, because just as soon as the door was shut behind them, she was being pressed against it, her beau’s mouth against hers. They kissed each other senseless against the door, hands roaming and hips rolling against each other. Gilbert seemed to be captivated by her bosoms, kneading and squeezing the flesh as she palmed at his firm backside, keeping his hips rolling against hers as they kissed. She could feel him hard and pressed firmly against her thigh, and in a brief moment of unrestrained curiosity, she dared to trail her fingers around his hip to lightly touch him through the fabric of his pants. 

She nearly jumped out of her skin at the loud, broken moan that left her lover’s lips at the simple touch, and she was quick to pull her hand away, afraid she had done something wrong. She looked up at Gilbert, eyes wide as he stared down at her with an intensity far greater than he ever had before. Both of their chests were heaving, and she could only imagine how debauched they must have looked in that moment. Without breaking eye contact with her he slowly began to walk her backwards until her knees hit the bed, forcing her to sit first, then lie back as he climbed on top of her. 

“Anne-girl,” Gilbert said, reaching out to gently stroke her face. “Please, do that again.” 

She didn’t need to be asked twice, and with a boldness that she did not have before, she reached out and wrapped her hand around him, feeling victorious as another small moan left his lips. She squeezed gently, suddenly at a loss with what to do, but Gilbert was quick to wrap his hand around hers, guiding it up and down the length of him. She watched as his face twisted with pleasure, his hips rocking into hers as she stroked him. She smiled, leaning forward to kiss his neck as her other hand twisted in the fabric of his shirt. 

She hardly realized that she had been pulling on it until Gilbert pulled away from her, sitting back on his knees to pull both his shirt and undershirt over his head, leaving him bare chested before her. He smiled down at her as she drank in the sight of his toned body. He leaned down to kiss her, rolling them over as he did so to settle her on top of him as his hands made their way to the neck of her dress. 

“May I?” He asked, fingers toying with the buttons that he found there. Anne nodded, wanting to feel his skin against hers. She thought back to the day at the swimming hole, how the bare skin of his broad shoulders had felt underneath her thighs, warm and soft but still completely solid, and she yearned to be skin to skin with him once again. 

She was afraid he was going to rip her dress with how fast he tried to rid her of it once she had given him permission to do so, but he worked with careful efficiency, and before she knew it Gilbert was pulling her dress over her head and carelessly tossing it aside, leaving her in just her chemise and drawers. While they were bearing more skin to each other than ever before, Anne knew that it was not enough. She needed more. She wanted him to see every inch of her, and she every inch of him. His hands rested on her hips, and he was using his grip to lazily rock their hips together, and before she had a chance to lose her nerve she reached for the hem of her chemise and pulled it over her head. 

“Shit, Anne,” Gilbert breathed, his eyes roving over the newly revealed skin. He didn’t try and restrain himself, and she was thankful for it as he ran his fingers up her ribcage, leaving goosebumps in their wake as his hands found her breasts. 

“Shit, Gilbert,” She parroted, the naughty word feeling strange in her mouth as she said it. It got the desired effect though, and Gilbert gave her a lopsided grin as he continued to explore his newfound territory. Anne let him do what he wanted for a moment, closing her eyes and reveling in the flame that he was fanning in her as he pinched and squeezed and rubbed her breasts.

Eventually she took control again, and Gilbert easily relented his control as she took his hands from her chest and intertwined their fingers, pinning his arms above his head as she leaned forward to kiss him. She gasped at the feeling of his warm skin against hers once they were pressed chest to chest, and she lost her train of thought as she absentmindedly began kissing across his collarbones. She nipped at the warm skin, leaving a trail of angry red marks in her wake, the sight only adding fuel to the fire that had started in her lower belly. After a minute she realized that she had been on the verge of saying something before she got distracted, and tore her lips away from his skin to look her beloved in the eye. 

“I’d like to take the rest of my clothes off, if that’s alright with you.” She said, and the words were hardly out of her mouth before Gilbert was flipping her over and tugging off her drawers, tossing them into oblivion right alongside her dress. His eyes were wide with awe as he took in her body, running over every inch of her bare skin as she laid underneath him. Part of her thought that she would be embarrassed or ashamed if someone were to ever see her naked, but she was surprised at how comfortable she felt as she flipped them back over to settle herself over his hips, completely bare before her beau. Gilbert sat up slowly, his large, warm hand splayed across her back as he pressed their chests together. 

“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” He said, voice low and husky as he kissed her slowly, his hands ghosting over her skin. He left goosebumps in his wake as he mapped out her body, tracing the bumps of her spine, the curve of her waist, the long line of her thighs. He kissed down her neck and across her collarbones, working his way lower and lower until he carefully took her nipple in his mouth. She cried out at the feeling, throwing her head back as she tangled her hand in his hair, anchoring him in place as he rolled his tongue over her nipple. It was as if more fuel had been added to the fire, and Gilbert was quick to flip her over onto her back, repeating the process to her other nipple as he shoved his pants down over his hips, kicking them off the side of the bed, leaving him naked above her. 

Her curiosity got the better of her and she spared a look in between them, gasping quietly at the sight of him. It looked nothing like what she had seen on the baby boys she had taken care of, and her mouth went dry as Gilbert noticed her staring and chuckled. As if he was reading her mind, he took her chin in his hand, gently guiding her to look up at him. 

“Don’t worry about the last step right now.” He said, leaning in to give her a sweet kiss as his fingers ran down the length of her body, finally settling on her hip bone. “Just focus on the next one. Can I touch you?” 

Anne nodded, probably more fervently than was necessary, but her heart melted at the goofy grin Gilbert gave her before his fingers brushed over her center. As if they were acting on their own accord, her hips twitched into his touch, chasing his fingers as he gently stroked her. She was a gasping, writhing mess already, and he had barely even touched her, but she couldn’t find it in herself to be embarrassed. Really, why did she even have to be embarrassed? It was only Gilbert, and she knew that if anything, her wanton behavior only spurred him on. 

She was right, he locked eyes with her a moment later, a cheeky smile on his face. She leaned forward to capture his lips with hers, giving him a bruising kiss as one of his fingers breached her body, making her back arch off the bed in pleasure. She moaned loudly against his lips as she raked her fingers down his back, panting as he worked her into a tizzy. 

She had only done this to herself once or twice before, too scared of being caught to do it frequently. She was never successful in replicating the feeling that she had when she was with Gilbert, but now, with him in control rather than her, the pleasure was building up in a tight ball in her stomach and she welcomed it gladly. She decided that she would much rather have Gilbert help her than do it herself. She idly wondered if Gilbert ever touched himself for relief, and if he would rather have her touching him like she did. With that thought in mind she reached down and grabbed him, touching him without any barrier between them for the first time. He groaned into the juncture of her neck, biting down lightly on it as she continued to stroke him gently. 

It seemed like they laid like that for hours, driving each other crazy with pleasure as they touched and kissed, exploring each other’s bodies as they tangled up together in the bedsheets. Anne wished she could stay there, alone in his room with him forever, learning every bump, scar, and freckle that his body held. She was starting to understand why people wanted to get married so quickly. The more intimate she got with Gilbert, the more she wanted him all the time. How could anyone deny themselves such an incredible experience once they had started? 

“I love you,” Gilbert whispered into the crook of her neck, his breath warm against her skin as he continued to leave kisses across her neck, shoulder, collarbones, and chest. It seemed like his mouth was all over her, laying claim to every inch of skin it could reach. Anne didn’t mind, she returned the kisses in kind as her hand tangled itself in his hair as the pressure in her belly grew stronger and stronger. 

This time, she was not scared of the pleasure that was building up inside of her, and when she felt herself at the precipice, she gladly gave into it. She forced herself to hide her face in Gilbert’s pillow when it happened, biting down on the soft fabric to muffle her cries, knowing that if any unsuspecting person walked into the house at that moment, that they would immediately be privy to what was going on just by the noises that she was making. Even as she rode the wave of pleasure that Gilbert had drawn her to, she continued to touch him, returning his kisses in kind as he moaned loudly into her neck, biting down on her tender skin in the hollow of her throat as he reached his own peak and went still above her. 

As they descended the mountain they had just climbed together, chests heaving and slick with sweat, Gilbert settled down on the mattress beside her, pulling his sweetheart to his chest. He reached down after a moment, pulling a light quilt that was laying at the foot of the bed over them to protect their modesty. 

“That was nice.” Anne giggled after a moment, still a little breathless as she looked up at her beau. His hair was a mess, tousled and sticking out every which way from where she had run her fingers through it over and over again. He looked as if he were about to fall asleep with her in his arms, his eyes closed and eyelashes brushing against his flushed cheeks. He chuckled at her statement, proving that he was not asleep as he nodded in agreement, his hand lazily rubbing up and down her spine (and if he occasionally let his hand wander down to run over the curve of her bottom, well, she didn’t mind that at all.) 

“I wish we could lay here like this forever.” He said after a while, opening his eyes as he stroked her cheek. 

“We’d never get anything done, we’d hardly be productive members of society.” Anne teased, turning her head to place kisses to each one of his finger tips. 

“I think your definition of productivity is different than mine. I would say we just had a very, very productive afternoon, wouldn’t you?” Gilbert said cheekily, and Anne blushed as she raised an eyebrow at him. 

“As much as I like arguing with you, I think I am inclined to agree. I definitely look forward to spending full days doing what we just did… and maybe more, eventually?” She said, and he nodded with a satisfied smile on his face, pulling her closer and tangling their legs together. Anne hummed happily. Physical intimacy was nice, but she was quickly realizing that she loved the emotional warmth she felt when they were lying next to each other, skin to skin without anything else between them. 

“I thought you said you never wanted to do that.” He teased, and she giggled, hiding her face in his chest as she blushed.   
“Well, I might be warming up to the idea.” She admitted. It felt silly, thinking back to her initial reaction to sexual intercourse, but now that she better understood the process and its steps (and... _ahem,_ what she was working with, on Gilbert’s end) she had no doubt in her mind that one day she would be ready for that step. 

“I knew you would.” Gilbert said proudly, only for him to yelp a moment later when she twisted his nipple in retaliation. 

They laid there another few minutes quietly, wrapped up in each other before Gilbert sighed, running his fingers through Anne’s fiery hair. 

“I’m going to miss you, so much.” He said with a sad sigh, wrapping a tendril of hair around his finger. Anne frowned, cupping his cheek in her hand, stroking his cheek bone with her thumb. 

“We don’t have to talk about that yet.” She said, still trying to delay the inevitable, even though they were less than twenty four hours away from it. 

“Anne-girl,” He said, his dark eyes mournful as he caught her gaze. “This time tomorrow you’ll be at your boarding house in Charlottetown, and I’ll be on a train headed to Toronto. We’ve hardly even talked about it at all.” 

“Well maybe I don’t want to talk about it.” She huffed, hiding her face in his shoulder. 

“Hiding from it won’t make it go away.” He said gently. “Will you please look at me? I want to see your face.” 

Anne reluctantly looked up then, a heavy pout on her lips, and Gilbert sighed as he smoothed his thumb over her bottom lip. 

“Come on now, put that away.” He said, trying to lighten the mood by poking her bottom lip back into its normal spot. Her lower lip only trembled more in response, and Gilbert settled with pulling her into his arms. 

“Listen to me, anytime you get sad and miss me, know that I’ll be missing you just as fiercely. But do you know what I’m going to do then?” He said, pressing kisses to the crown of her head. 

“What?” Anne asked after a moment, voice muffled by his chest. Gilbert smiled, pulling away from her and cupping her cheek. 

“I’m going to think of this summer. And I’m going to think of the way you looked the day at the swimming hole before you even gave me the time of day, and how red you blushed when I gave you the take notice letter- and how flustered you looked when you ate it- hey!” He laughed, dodging the pillow that she had attempted to smack him with. He took the pillow away from her, tossing it over his shoulder as he continued. “And I’m going to remember our first kiss, and how I felt like I was on top of the world because you gave a fool like me the time of day. I’ll think about how out of sorts you were when Marilla told you about sex, and how vulnerable you’ve been with me ever since. I’ll replay the moment you told me you loved me over and over again in my mind, and it will be the sweetest lullaby as I drift off to sleep.” 

He smiled, leaning down to kiss both of her cheeks, then her nose, then finally her lips. His eyes were burning into hers, holding her face in his hands. 

“And when I’m really,  _ really _ missing you, to the point where it’s almost unbearable, I’ll think about today. And how beautiful you looked, and how you chose to bare yourself to me in body and in soul, and I’ll pray that it’s enough to hold me over until I see you again. Hold onto the memories we’ve made for now, my dear, and I promise you I’ll only keep giving you more until the time we are together again, for good.” 

Anne was nearly crying as he finished, and she nodded in understanding as she threw her arms around his neck, breathing in his smell, trying to commit every detail of him to memory. 

She knew that when she got off the train to Charlottetown tomorrow, leaving Gilbert onboard as they started out on their separate paths, that it would not be easy. But he was right, as he so often was. They had memories in their pockets for when the nights got hard and lonely, and if they reminded themselves that every day was a day closer to them being together again, then maybe, just maybe, they could make it through to the other side of their uncertain future. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Once again, thank you so much for all of your support, and I hope everyone continues to stay safe, sane, and healthy in these uncertain times. 
> 
> ....and the first chapter of the sequel will probably be out tomorrow. Did y'all really think that was the end of the story? ;)


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